Is there someone whose job is to offer advice on conception?

[hardlyprofitable]

Is there someone who's job it is to advise my best course of action? I'm almost 36, recently married, and we want to have children (1 or 2). I have adenomyosis and endometriosis and am worried that trying for months and months will waste time and I will run out of eggs and not manage. There's no real reason to think this except my age and medical situation but I find myself obsessing over scientific papers about complications with advanced maternal age etc, even considering freezing eggs now incase (though likely too late for that). My friends are mostly single and I don't want to be insensitive and unload onto them because they want their own kids and haven't yet found partners. When I say I'm obsessing I'm lieing awake until 2/3am some nights. DH thinks I'm overthinking and we will be fine but tries to support.

I think I need some professional advice, not just counselling but someone who truly knows what my best course of action is.

You can get your amh levels tested. That will give you some insight into your situation.

I've heard good things about the Hertility website.

I did hertility and have AMH of 25 which the app suggested might mean I have PCOS (but I have no other symptoms of that). I gather AMH level is more indicative of how many eggs you would get from IVF but not how likely pregnancy is without it. I don't know though.

How long have you been trying so far?

I think you're definitely overthinking. I know it's a lot easier said than done, but you're only 35, presumably you and your husband are both reasonably fit and healthy, and you have no evidence that would suggest you will have any problems conceiving.

It doesn't sound like you've started trying just yet? I would:

Start trying. Get some ovulation strips. Give it 6 months. And if not successful, make a GP appointment and get the ball rolling for further testing.

Are you actually trying for a baby yet?

We started trying last month (December) as we got married first, I don't expect to be pregnant yet ofcourse just worried about my age and running out of time. We are healthy except my endometriosis and adenomyosis which I know can cause problems. I know it's overthinking but I cannot stop myself which is why I think I need professional help to calm down.

If it’s making you anxious can you seek professional help for that? If nothing happens TTC after 6 months make a GP appointment. But there’s no reason not to just give it a go for now

If you tell yourself that you’ll go to the gp if nothing happens after 6 months could you relax for that amount of time? There’s a lot you can both do in terms of healthy living, nutrition, normal range BMI. I think quitting coffee helped me conceive after a year of trying and there is evidence that quitting coffee helps. ‘It starts with the egg’ is a good read, and I found it helpful to track with lh strips. You’d have useful info from six months tracking if you then do want to book more tests. But sleep and mental health are also an important part of the picture so don’t drive yourself crazy.

I'm not sure if there are any therapists/counsellors that deal specifically with fertility anxiety but hopefully someone can answer that for you soon.

Maybe you could try some normal talking therapy, in the meantime? Infertility is definitely not an uncommon fear and pregnancy itself can be a very anxious time so you will probably benefit from it when you do get pregnant too.

I hope you conceive quickly and easily! My fingers are crossed for you 🤞

A fertility counsellor may be able to help with your anxieties and stress. A fertility MOT (private) could help put your mind at ease. A fertility coach can offer conception advice.

All of these will be private and not offered on the NHS at your stage.

Chelsea and Westminster Hospital also offer a pre-pregnancy clinic.

Give it 3 months trying naturally and then go straight for IVF. This is your best chance of achieving the family you want and at 35, your chances are really high.

Thankyou so much everyone! We will give it about 3 months of trying and revisit. I think I will do fertility MOT anyway and see if I can find fertility or normal councilling in the mean time. This has been so helpful I had no idea where to even look.

Yes you can go to a fertility clinic and do fertility checks / ask their advice without committing to IVF. It can be efficient doing this, as you’ll have test results to back up a GP referral for IVF at the 6-month point.