41 seeking advice on next steps

[wholeeverything]

Hoping someone might be able to offer some insight. For context I am about five stone overweight and 41, TTC first time for about a year. Clockwork periods, temping and tests show ovulation each month.

Before I started TTC doctor advised testing hormones and blood sugar. These were normal.

When we hadn't had success by summer, I booked into a private IVF clinic (age ruled out public treatment) figuring I'd get tests done there and these would be of value even without IVF.

The bloodwork showed everything normal/positive for my age. However when performing the transvaginal ultrasound the doctor could not visualise my ovaries. One couldn't be found at all and the other was too blurry to count follicles.

I understand this is likely down to my weight, but I was a bit out of that there was no discussion of how this information might be obtained, or what other information was missing due to the ultrasound not being done.

Generally the experience made me feel hesitant about going to a doctor now. I already feel silly going to talk to a doctor about getting pregnant at age 41 and heavily overweight.

I don't know where to go from here. Obviously still trying to lose weight and focus on lifestyle and we will keep trying, but I'm giving up hope and wondering are there tests / options I should be aware of. My current weight rules out IVF but I'm not sure we would have financially managed it anyway. I'm also very put off about the low success rates for women my age.

Any advice on next steps? Are there treatable issues that I should try Nd get tested for?

Has your other half been tested too?

Thank you for replying. Yes, he has - all good. I had LH, FSH, Estradiol, prolactin thyroid function and AMH tested - all results were 'above average for your age' with large age-related caveats.

My ovaries can not be found or seen when "quiet" meaning unless they are ready to ovulate they dont drop down from behind the uterus enough to count follicles until they are ready to ovulate and even this can be difficult. I am still able to get eggs collected in an ivf cycle so I would suggest next steps be possibly having ovulation tracked by an ivf clinic and possibly doing iui which is precisely times insemination and before hand the males sperm is "washed" and only good sperm is inserted. Or you can try ovulation induction techniques incase there is possibly an ovulation issues and also progesterone treatment incase your progesterone is too low for an embryo to implant. There are definitely cheaper and less aggressive ways to ttc before jumping right into a full ivf cycle. Its good your trying to lose weight, definitely concentrate on eating good fresh foods and keeping active.

If you have been TTC for a year how much weight have you lost during this time? If you can’t/wont do IVF and all other tests are normal then your weight is going to have a huge impact on success especially over 40? I mean that kindly by the way - I had to do a lot of IVF and had many losses and understand how painful the process can be x