Tips to staying positive?

AnxiousAnd · 2025-12-11T13:12:37+00:00

Hi lovelies, currently 12 DPO and I haven't had any implantation signs. I know there still might be a tiny chance but I just cant help but feel hopeless about it all. This is our 4th month TTC but we've been working to be in the right place for the last 10 years so I know I'm being impatient but we've been waiting a decade to have a baby and now that we feel we're in the best place to do so, we haven't had any luck. I know that it can take time and that realistically we still have another 6 months before we should speak to a doctor about fertility but I am feeling so low and disappointed. Any tips to stay positive in this massive waiting game?

Miraclemuma03 · 14/12/2025 05:00

10yrs prep is a long time and a lot of anticipation and build up just to feel let down at the end of it. On the plus side if you have only been actively trying to conceive for 4 months then you have plenty of time before needing to do any investigations. I know the wait is a killer and you just want to be pregnant right now after such a long prep period but try to stay patient. I honestly though would start thinking about doing a few investigation at around the 6 to 8 month mark if pregnancy hasnt occurred by then, just to get a jump start on things as sometimes investigations can also take a couple of months. Are you tracking ovulation or just going by symptoms? Also try to have fun with it, with the bedroom side of things, do some date nights, weekend retreats or fun activities in the bedroom just to spice it up, be relaxed and not make it so technical. Try not to think too much about it in these early days and try to keep yourself occupied with your favourite hobbies. On your down days, remind yourself your just in the early days of your ttc journey and there will be an end date.

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 14/12/2025 05:15

TTC - is horrible. Best thing - mute social media what destroyed me TTC and mine was only a year was seeing people announce their pregnancy or their third child it cut me.

If you do get your period allow yourself a day to wallow before picking yourself back up again. A day in pjs, favourite takeaway movie on the couch and a good cry. Then in the morning say that’s ok I’m still waiting to meet my baby and go out for fresh air.

Sending baby dust

Miraclemuma03 · 14/12/2025 05:33

@PivotPivotmakingmargaritas definitely agree with the stepping away from social media. My husband and I have been doing ivf for 12months with no success and my social media pages are now just full of baby and pregnancy stuff and it makes me personally feel awful thinking I should be 10weeks pregnant but had a miscarriage at 7 weeks and these pages are all of woman with successful pregnancies and given birth and it really gets me down.

Original poster

AnxiousAnd · 14/12/2025 08:12

Miraclemuma03 · 14/12/2025 05:00

10yrs prep is a long time and a lot of anticipation and build up just to feel let down at the end of it. On the plus side if you have only been actively trying to conceive for 4 months then you have plenty of time before needing to do any investigations. I know the wait is a killer and you just want to be pregnant right now after such a long prep period but try to stay patient. I honestly though would start thinking about doing a few investigation at around the 6 to 8 month mark if pregnancy hasnt occurred by then, just to get a jump start on things as sometimes investigations can also take a couple of months. Are you tracking ovulation or just going by symptoms? Also try to have fun with it, with the bedroom side of things, do some date nights, weekend retreats or fun activities in the bedroom just to spice it up, be relaxed and not make it so technical. Try not to think too much about it in these early days and try to keep yourself occupied with your favourite hobbies. On your down days, remind yourself your just in the early days of your ttc journey and there will be an end date.

Thank you so much for all of your advice ❤️ I've been tracking my ovulation through 3 different period apps as well as using the Clear blue ovulation tests. I think I had some light bleeding yesterday so I'm expecting AF to come either tonight or tomorrow as 13 DPO is usually too late for implantation bleeding :( I'll definitely go see my GP if it gets to that time and we haven't had any luck. Thank you again! ❤️❤️

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Original poster

AnxiousAnd · 14/12/2025 08:17

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 14/12/2025 05:15

TTC - is horrible. Best thing - mute social media what destroyed me TTC and mine was only a year was seeing people announce their pregnancy or their third child it cut me.

If you do get your period allow yourself a day to wallow before picking yourself back up again. A day in pjs, favourite takeaway movie on the couch and a good cry. Then in the morning say that’s ok I’m still waiting to meet my baby and go out for fresh air.

Sending baby dust

Thank you so much! ❤️

Social media has been pretty rough, especially since a lot of people around my age are having kids at the moment and seeing a lot of very cute chubby babies in Christmas outfits! I definitely think a wallow day is in order, I work in retail so it's been full on with the holidays coming up but will make sure to be gentle with myself and have a day where I can be sad and not have to put on a brave face ❤️❤️

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Original poster

AnxiousAnd · 14/12/2025 08:19

Miraclemuma03 · 14/12/2025 05:33

@PivotPivotmakingmargaritas definitely agree with the stepping away from social media. My husband and I have been doing ivf for 12months with no success and my social media pages are now just full of baby and pregnancy stuff and it makes me personally feel awful thinking I should be 10weeks pregnant but had a miscarriage at 7 weeks and these pages are all of woman with successful pregnancies and given birth and it really gets me down.

I'm so sorry to hear that! I can definitely understand the social media stuff! Its hard when you want to be happy for other people but are disappointed and gutted by the fact that it should be you as well!

I'm sending you so many hugs and baby dust and good vibes for your ivf journey!

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Renisenb · 14/12/2025 14:09

I think don’t focus on the symptoms, set a dpo to test and wait til then.
I had so many months with fake symptoms - then when I had my BFP it wasn’t til 13dpo and I had no symptoms
I then had a negative test and even a little bit of blood at 15dpo (don’t trust one step )
then much clearer lines at 16 and 18 dpo

Original poster

AnxiousAnd · 15/12/2025 04:14

Renisenb · 14/12/2025 14:09

I think don’t focus on the symptoms, set a dpo to test and wait til then.
I had so many months with fake symptoms - then when I had my BFP it wasn’t til 13dpo and I had no symptoms
I then had a negative test and even a little bit of blood at 15dpo (don’t trust one step )
then much clearer lines at 16 and 18 dpo

Thank you! It's so hard because a lot of the symptoms are so specific and I know everyone is different but I think I was expecting what everyone else was saying to expect. I'll make sure next month I will just pick a DPO and go from there. I'm so bad at early testing as well so I will probably get my partner to hide them until it’s time!

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Allswellthatendswelll · 15/12/2025 07:19

I was ttc 10 months DS and 18 months DD which is over two years of symptom spotting. So I know it can drive you mad. However when I did get my BFPs the symptoms were the same. It was only a missed period and then I got implementation cramps.
4 months isn't that long. How old are you? Over 35 and you can go earlier to the GP. Or you can do the tests privately.

Original poster

AnxiousAnd · 15/12/2025 11:27

Allswellthatendswelll · 15/12/2025 07:19

I was ttc 10 months DS and 18 months DD which is over two years of symptom spotting. So I know it can drive you mad. However when I did get my BFPs the symptoms were the same. It was only a missed period and then I got implementation cramps.
4 months isn't that long. How old are you? Over 35 and you can go earlier to the GP. Or you can do the tests privately.

I'm 32 so I know I still have a few years before it becomes concerning, I think I'm just so impatient because we've been planning this for so long to be in a position to finally TTC. I've never really paid so much attention to my body before TTC, just the usually knowing PMS was coming due to moodiness and acne and then AF coming when my apps said it was (or a day or two off)

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