TTC now 41

[user1984455]

I've been TTC for 2 years and I'm now 41. I can't do IVF. Over this time my period cyles have decreased in length. They were 25-26 and now 23-24. I think I'm perimenopause due to the cycle lengths but I don't have other symptoms. I was wondering if it's all over for me? It's hard as I don't have the money to go private and probably scared to hear the doctor say I'm infertile now.

I'm not sure what I want from this post, just confused and hurt TTC hasn't worked. I've started taking CoQ10. I'm restarted running which has helped with my mental health and pms. I've lost 2kgs in 3 weeks. I'm still overweight but got the joy back from running. I do have kids but wanted another child. I'm scared of letting go and really wanted another child

I am not an expert but I don't want to read and run. Big hug, what you are going through is hard.

Could you cycle just be irregular because of a change in your life (or the stress of tfc? ).

Even if you are perimenopausal, you can still conceive and peri can last 2 years or more.

Don't lose hope and don't let your anxiety make your mind spiral

Sorry if this is too personal but is it no IVF because you cant afford it or you dont want to go through it? Have you had the gp run do some fertility checks in that 2yrs you have been ttc?

It's because I don't want to go through it. I don't think I could do it mentally and I do have kids. It's such a stressful process and I don't think I could face doing it. Especially as the chances at my age are so slim.

I don't think my cycle is shortening due to stress, I honestly think it's due to perimenopause. It's sad as I don't have my mum to ask (she died 4 years ago). But I know she went through the menopause at 50.

im sick of having a period for 5 days and then only getting 18 off. Then it's starting again. Just sad and that's getting to me. That's most of the reason I'm running again.

My cycle lengths are 23 days, they were since I came off the pill at about 35. A gynaecologist has recently told me that it’s nothing to worry about just every woman is different. She says my period should still come around 2 weeks after I ovulate.

I would talk to your gp about running some fertility tests to make sure your still ovulating and your progesterone is where it should be, also having some scans done on your uterus to make sure the thickness is where it needs to be around ovulation. Also talking to a fertility specialist who can help you with ovulation tracking and timing and can also run extra testing. I wouldnt worry too much about your periods shortening as womans cycles changes with age and it doesnt always mean perimenopaus it could just be a normal change in cycle especially if not necessarily accompanied by other symtoms. Im not going to lie, ivf is hard but its worth it if you get your baby in your arms, it doesnt matter if you have other kids, you can still go ahead. It does take a toll and its not for everyone but it does prove that we are stronger then what we think.