Age 41 and 15 months trying to conceive

[Sara1003]

We have been trying to conceive for the last 15 months since I was just over 40. I did get pregnant at 40 but had a loss. I got pregnant after 3 months of trying that time but nothing since. Is it unlikely now or should we keep trying?

You cannot know without fertility testing. Arrange to get both of you tested privately ASAP. If there anything worth spending money on then it’s this, especially with it being more time sensitive. It’s around £400 for a couple

Nothing to be lost from continuing TTC. It took me 4 years to have a baby (started age 26) and doctors were unable to find any fertility issues in DH and I (I promise the right bit was going in the right hole at the right time, we were just deeply unlucky!!).

Sending lots of luck your way OP

Are your periods regular and how old is partner?

I gave birth at 35 weeks pregnant at 43.2...had actually moved home and forgot all about ttc.
I had given up tea /coffee /fizzy drinks. Never ate red meat(yes to chicken and fish) but ate lots of leafy greens and fruit and veg.. Lots of sleep and tried to be less stressed! Good luck op.

It’s a very personal decision. If you want to continue trying to conceive then why not.
Fertility treatment might well be needed, so something to consider.
TTC is pretty emotionally draining so you might decide not to continue which would be completely fair and understandable.

I had DD1 at 39 and DD2 at 43 with two losses in between. So glad we kept trying but it’s heartbreaking to miscarry. Wishing you all the luck in the world and there is hope if you choose to continue trying xx

Thanks for your comments. I have had fertility tests and nothing obvious other than my age. Regular periods and my partner is 49.

I started trying the month I turned 40. Took a year to conceive but had a missed miscarriage. Started IVF 3 months after that and had 4 (failed) cycles over the next 18 months (including another 2 miscarriages). We finally gave up aged 44 (although we don’t use contraception so I guess some people would count that as still trying) but we know it won’t happen now.
I think at 41 you still have time. Plenty of people do manage to conceive at that age. Obviously it’s important to eat healthy and make sure you’re talking folic acid etc. But I spent hundreds on expensive vitamins (impryl, CQ10 etc) and thousands on IVF but for me ultimately I think my egg quality was just too poor and nothing really was going to help that. The only thing you can do is keep trying but keep expectations hopeful but realistic.

Its very personal.

At his age (his is a factor) and yours I'd strongly consider stopping.
Something like @PaperSheets experience wouldnt be something i'd be prepared to go through.
IVF is expensive and gruelling (physically and emotionally) with no guarantees.

It's a hard road to walk and you have to think hard about "whats important" and "what you are willing to do and risk (ie theres a chance you dont grt pregnant and the strain ends your marriage/ relationship)

Edited as I see you've had tests - has your partner?

I'd imagine your best chance is IVF and you need to crack on w that asap

Have you tried agnus castus?

Thanks for your comments, I appreciate your honesty. It sounds like it won’t really happen now for me. I seems strange that I got pregnant so quickly and yet over a year later absolutely nothing. It’s pretty devastating.

Get a hycosy tubal test done if not already. Can increase fertility few months after & I conceived same month having it done after ttc 18 months

Personally I would be looking into IVF.

I got pg aged 41 (gave birth aged 42) after a long period of ttc (can't remember exactly as I stopped tracking, it was well over a year but not timed ttc every cycle). I had done all the tests and various treatments like acupuncture and supplements and none of it had worked so I got exasperated with it and stopped everything.
I took the pressure off by accepting it probably wouldn't happen (statistically true) but not doing anything except sex when it happened and no contraception. Sex didn't even happen that often either due to working away/work hours and I didn't check dates to see if it was the right time as I wanted not to dwell on it. I figured that if it was meant to be then it would happen, and if it didn't then it wasn't meant to be.

I looked briefly into ivf but the stats didn't look good and the cost was high so it felt like a gamble with low chances. However I don't see the need to stop ttc altogether and going on contraception if you actually want a baby. There's no cost or effort in it and you'd be having sex anyway.

I’m 2 years into ttc and I’m 40
i think I’ll still be optimistically trying till 44 and then accept it’s maybe not meant to happen for us.

I started trying at 34 and never conceived naturally in three years, not even once. Everyone kept telling me to ‘just relax and it’ll happen’. Fertility tests didn’t reveal any issues for me or DH.

However, I tried ivf at 37 as it seemed like, for whatever reason, natural conception wouldn’t happen. It was during my egg retrieval for ivf that they saw that I had endometriosis that had destroyed my fallopian tubes. So sometimes, ‘unexplained infertility’ is tubal issues. I’d recommend you try ivf as it bypasses the tubes.

I did get pregnant and had a DS just a month ago aged 38. If we want another child then we will need more ivf and I’ll be 39 by then. I know it’s unlikely to work (DH will be 45) but we want to be able to say we did all we could before we can accept that we need to stop trying.

Just thought I’d let you know that story. If I’d just kept trying naturally, I’d never have had my son. Also, the fertility tests can’t tell you everything. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.