IVF struggles

[Wbby19]

Hi everyone.
After my first failed cycle of IVF it’s been an emotional rollercoaster. The week after I found my colleague is pregnant and my sister in law. Now another colleague in my team at work.
Ive had a few months to digest it, but I can’t help but feel so emotional about the whole situation. I’ve tried coming off social media, trying to shut the noise out but it’s at work and it’s at home and I want to just think about something else but at work
conversation about pregnancy for those pregnant. Or complaint about bad symptoms or invite to the next baby or friends children’s party is just tearing me apart. I’m about to start a second cycle and I just don’t know how to deal with it, without making it seem like I am falsely putting on a smile all the time. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated! I hope it jusy gets easier with time and I’ll just stop feeling like a failure. Thanks!

My first cycle failed too so I know how awful that feels :( You’re allowed to be emotional about it, it’s a very emotional thing to go through. I have two children now but I still get random jolts of jealousy when people talk about pregnancy.

I found it best to try and just take everything one day at a time and be kind to myself. I planned lots of holidays, tasty meals and days out with my husband. Anything to try and distract myself.

Best of luck with this cycle. I hope this is your one!

Ive found chatting to others (on here and Reddit and anyone I can find in real life) who have gone through/are going through the same thing to be helpful. It is painful having to face pregnant people who have no idea how lucky they are. It’s painful to be so isolated from something you thought was a given. But it’s kinda great being part of a community who’ve been through it, who can be incredibly supportive in lots of different ways.

We went to meet our (my partner’s) friends new baby, knowing they had struggled very very hard to have her. I didn’t really know the mother, but by the end of the visit I had tears in my eyes with how validated she made me feel, how easily she could connect with my pain (which was also her pain) and with her understanding of how complicated it felt to meet her little one.

It sounds awful having to face other’s pregnancies both at home and work. I copied down a quote from someone on Reddit right at the start of the journey which has on occasion helped. Something like: be sincere but not serious. To me it was about trying to find some kind of lightheartedness within myself, for myself. Absolutely not as a performance for other people (weirdly people expect a performance from you, my sister wants to have serious chats about infertility and how hard I must be finding it every time we meet). But like, an escape for you and your partner to just be yourselves with each other, like maintain a private playfulness and lightness when you’re safe with each other. That way it’s not 100% taking over your life.

I hope the next round is your round OP.