TTC - 1 year + | Mumsnet

carmsevs · 2025-11-03T21:05:04+00:00

Hi all, Looking for some positive stories and a place to share Me and my husband have been ttc since August 2024. Although it has been over a year, there have only been around 9/10 cycles where we have DTD at the correct times as well as having a few months off during the summer. My husband has had a SA and it came back very positive. I have paid for a private scan which showed no issues and also had a scan complete by the NHS and again no issues. Both said my ovaries appear normal and could tell I was beginning to ovulate. My periods are regular and like clock work and I have positive OPKs every month. We are both 36 so we know age isn't necessarily on our sides. I have taken vitamins but recently stopped and haven't started them back up again. No sign of a positive as of yet but every single month since ttc I have cramps from 8DPO up until my period. This never used to happen before but again all tests come back clear. We have tried every method and tip to help us along other than me religiously taking my vitamins other than folic acid. Any help/advice/ tips would be welcomed. Thank you xx

PeonyPatch · 04/11/2025 07:42

Have you been back to the NHS? At your age and length of time trying, you’d probs qualify for fertility support? We are waiting for a referral for us.

Original poster

carmsevs · 04/11/2025 12:50

PeonyPatch · 04/11/2025 07:42

Have you been back to the NHS? At your age and length of time trying, you’d probs qualify for fertility support? We are waiting for a referral for us.

Yeah, we were referred in April but the GP said it will be at least 12 months until we are seen!

OP posts:

PeonyPatch · 04/11/2025 13:07

carmsevs · 04/11/2025 12:50

Yeah, we were referred in April but the GP said it will be at least 12 months until we are seen!

Show quote history

Wow, that’s such a long wait! Could you go private?

Squibblypanda90 · 04/11/2025 14:52

Hi, everyone. Im 35. I had a mmc in march and only started ovulating and having regular periods since end of june so took a while for my body to get back to normal. Been trying since then to get pregnant with no luck, tracking ovulation and timing and taking supplements. Im not sure if theres anymore i can do. Really want my rainbow baby. I do have a my 7 ds thankfully.

Tater05 · 05/11/2025 17:29

Sorry you're in this place, it's so frustrating especially when all the tests come back great and there's no explanation for it, and you're already doing everything you can.

We took 17 cycles to conceive, over about a year and a half. I'm 31, DH is 32, all of our tests came back fine and we just had no idea why it wasn't happening. Literally nothing for a year and a half until it suddenly just worked.
We were taking all of the vitamins, and I'd started eating cleaner too which I think did make a bit of a difference. Additionally on the month we conceived I took mucus cough medicine and made sure to stay lying down for at least an hour after dtd - I can't say for sure this is what worked and it doesn't work for everyone but could be worth a try if you haven't already.
I hope this gives you some positivity, wishing you all the best!

Ellaxx · 05/11/2025 17:36

Sorry you have not got your positive test yet, it can be so disheartening and really takes over your life. We were ttc for a while and I ended up getting privately prescribed impryl which are tablets that both you and your partner can take, we also used conceive plus lube and the month after we got our bfp! It could be worth trying both of those whilst you wait for the NHS referral?

We also stopped tracking things and just dtd every couple of days and I think not having the pressure might have helped! Wishing you all the best and hoping you get your bfp very soon ❤️

PoppyPeaches · 05/11/2025 21:37

hi! I also wanted to jump in as I was also in a similar boat! I started TTC when I was 34 and my husband was 41 - after about 10 months of trying I went to the GP (by this point I was 35.5), and had all the basic bloods and a ultrasound, all of which was completely normal (which was great, but also frustrating that no one could say why it wasn’t happening, I kind of wanted there to be an easily fixable problem!) my husband also had SA which came back good, so finally we were referred to the infertility clinic at the hospital.

We were really lucky that even though they said the appt waiting time was 6-8m, our appointment was in less than 3m. We attended the infertility clinic appt, and I had another scan a week or so later, but unbeknownst to me, I was already pregnant but it was too early to tell! I must have conceived on the day we went to the hospital, about a week before my 36th birthday.

I don’t know whether it was just pure coincidence and that was our month, or whether I was subconsciously less stressed as we were finally getting some help with it all, but either way it was month 17 of “proper” TTC, which felt like absolute hell at the time taking that long, but now it’s happened I feel so so grateful that I didn’t have to pursue properly fertility treatments or IVF this time.
during those 17m we tried tracking and not tracking so that didn’t make a difference for me, and tracking gave me an element of control/calm knowing I was actually ovulating according to the tests.
as a side note- I also got cramps from around 7/8dpo up until AF every BFN month, and use to lie in bed crying when they’d start knowing I was out that month whenAF would soon arrive. however I also got them on my BFP month, I felt literally no different at all - so if that’s something that gets you down, then it wasn’t a negative indicator for me! Best of luck for you on this crazy rollercoaster xxxxx

Original poster

carmsevs · 06/11/2025 06:52

Tater05 · 05/11/2025 17:29

Sorry you're in this place, it's so frustrating especially when all the tests come back great and there's no explanation for it, and you're already doing everything you can.

We took 17 cycles to conceive, over about a year and a half. I'm 31, DH is 32, all of our tests came back fine and we just had no idea why it wasn't happening. Literally nothing for a year and a half until it suddenly just worked.
We were taking all of the vitamins, and I'd started eating cleaner too which I think did make a bit of a difference. Additionally on the month we conceived I took mucus cough medicine and made sure to stay lying down for at least an hour after dtd - I can't say for sure this is what worked and it doesn't work for everyone but could be worth a try if you haven't already.
I hope this gives you some positivity, wishing you all the best!

Thank you for this. This has really helped ❤️ it offers comfort and reassurance! I know it will eventually happen, whether we have help or it happens naturally but it can be so frustrating especially when everything's comes back negative. We have tried a lube before, Preseed but no joy but I suppose it cant do any harm to try again. I do lay down after but not for an hour but again worth a try! Thank you again for this ❤️❤️

OP posts:

Original poster

carmsevs · 06/11/2025 06:55

PoppyPeaches · 05/11/2025 21:37

hi! I also wanted to jump in as I was also in a similar boat! I started TTC when I was 34 and my husband was 41 - after about 10 months of trying I went to the GP (by this point I was 35.5), and had all the basic bloods and a ultrasound, all of which was completely normal (which was great, but also frustrating that no one could say why it wasn’t happening, I kind of wanted there to be an easily fixable problem!) my husband also had SA which came back good, so finally we were referred to the infertility clinic at the hospital.

We were really lucky that even though they said the appt waiting time was 6-8m, our appointment was in less than 3m. We attended the infertility clinic appt, and I had another scan a week or so later, but unbeknownst to me, I was already pregnant but it was too early to tell! I must have conceived on the day we went to the hospital, about a week before my 36th birthday.

I don’t know whether it was just pure coincidence and that was our month, or whether I was subconsciously less stressed as we were finally getting some help with it all, but either way it was month 17 of “proper” TTC, which felt like absolute hell at the time taking that long, but now it’s happened I feel so so grateful that I didn’t have to pursue properly fertility treatments or IVF this time.
during those 17m we tried tracking and not tracking so that didn’t make a difference for me, and tracking gave me an element of control/calm knowing I was actually ovulating according to the tests.
as a side note- I also got cramps from around 7/8dpo up until AF every BFN month, and use to lie in bed crying when they’d start knowing I was out that month whenAF would soon arrive. however I also got them on my BFP month, I felt literally no different at all - so if that’s something that gets you down, then it wasn’t a negative indicator for me! Best of luck for you on this crazy rollercoaster xxxxx

Thank you for this! Especially the part about the cramps as it drives me insane everything month and reading this has made me feel better ❤️ I do prefer to track and tbh it doesnt stress me out, like you said, it makes me feel calm and in control when there is very little you can control on a journey like this. Thank you again xx

OP posts:

Squibblypanda90 · 06/11/2025 19:49

Thank you all for replying, i appreciate it. Will definatley be trying new things this month so hoping it will make difference ❤️

emmatcc1 · 07/11/2025 13:43

Took us 17 cycles to conceive only to miscarry and then another 11 cycles to fall pregnant again. Tried everything in the books and in the end got pregnant both times when we barely tried that month.