BFN feeling low

[wholeeverything]

Tested today, period three days late, no joy. I'm 41, trying for a year or so, really starting to give up hope.

This is the second time I've been late and tested, both times negative. The tiny bit of hope from being late really makes everything so much harder.

I started trying determined to be realistic at my age but I'm more and more feeling like not becoming a mum will be like grief, somehow.

I'm married and have a stepchild who lives with us full time and I've raised since they were nine and have a great, close relationship with. I know I'm so blessed to have a family since I just never thought about settling down until very late in life.

But today I am just feeling low and regretting the many years I spent not even thinking about my biology or future family. We've looked into IVF and had all the testing done. All 'good for my age.' We are undecided about IVF. I personally know a fair few friends and family who conceived at 40+ but I feel like keeping up hope is just very hard.

@wholeeverything very sorry it hasn't happened yet. I would encourage you not to give up. My advice / approach is to hope for the best, and cautiously prepare for the worst.

You've had assessments suggesting things are good for your age which means there's a chance. As you also said, many women do conceive naturally in their 40s. My own mother had younger sibling at 43.

Keep tracking and trying. And well done for taking a moment to appreciate your existing blessings, that shows a great maturity and introspection. Don't be hard on yourself either, there was a reason you a waited to be ready before embarking on the TTC journey.

Thank you so much for your reply. I often feel I can't talk to anyone about this issue and the words of kindness means a lot.