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Conception

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Original poster

First Fertility Consultation - what do you wish you’d asked?

11 replies

Imbrocator · 13/10/2025 14:04

My partner and I are about to have some investigative tests (follicle count ultrasound, AMH blood, semen analysis) followed by a consultation. The clinic notes say to prepare any questions or areas of interest to ask about during the consultation, but it’s hard to know what to ask when neither of us have any experience with the process!

If you’ve already been down the fertility clinic/possible IVF route, what do you wish you’d known about ahead of time and what questions would you be asking the doctor?

(As brief background we have been trying over a year, M41/F36, no obvious reasons why its not working)

OP posts:
priaaa · 13/10/2025 22:13

Good luck for your consultation!
assuming you already know how many rounds of IVF you would be entitled to in your area etc, then
I would be asking whether they are willing to adjust medication mid round during IVF, or whether they will just write that round off if it’s not working.
We have two local clinics and I swapped my care from one to the other as a result of this as one clinic would never adjust things annd would let you waste whole rounds of IVF whereas the other would try get more out of each try. For me it never came down to that thankfully as I ended up getting pregnant however I was warned about this from others in the area

MocktailMe · 13/10/2025 22:22

I wish I'd asked more about timelines right back at the start. I had my initial tests through the NHS then now am with a clinic self funded. I did not understand the IVF process at all and wish I'd asked exactly what each stage would be.

If your initial tests are with the IVF clinic though I think they will be clearer on this.

Original poster
Imbrocator · 13/10/2025 22:49

priaaa · 13/10/2025 22:13

Good luck for your consultation!
assuming you already know how many rounds of IVF you would be entitled to in your area etc, then
I would be asking whether they are willing to adjust medication mid round during IVF, or whether they will just write that round off if it’s not working.
We have two local clinics and I swapped my care from one to the other as a result of this as one clinic would never adjust things annd would let you waste whole rounds of IVF whereas the other would try get more out of each try. For me it never came down to that thankfully as I ended up getting pregnant however I was warned about this from others in the area

We’ve gone privately for the initial consultation at least because the waiting lists for the NHS are so long and time isn’t on our side, but I’d never have known to check this! Thank you very much.

OP posts:
Original poster
Imbrocator · 13/10/2025 22:51

MocktailMe · 13/10/2025 22:22

I wish I'd asked more about timelines right back at the start. I had my initial tests through the NHS then now am with a clinic self funded. I did not understand the IVF process at all and wish I'd asked exactly what each stage would be.

If your initial tests are with the IVF clinic though I think they will be clearer on this.

Thank you, that’s a very good point. I’ve only just learned that apparently you have to wait six months between each cycle (I’d naively assumed cycle meant in time with your menstrual cycle!), so that’s definitely made me realise I need to understand the timings better.

OP posts:
HedwigIsMySpiritAnimal · 13/10/2025 22:56

Ask what their success rates are for your age group and not just overall - it can make a big difference.

Good luck, my IVF miracle is 18 now so I don’t remember much - and so much has changed - but don’t underestimate how tough the journey is and be kind to yourself 🥰

TheInvisibleWorm · 13/10/2025 22:56

I should have asked "do you think it could be endometriosis?" - they only ever asked about period pain, which I didn't really have. I had pretty much every other endo symptom though! I count myself lucky that it eventually damaged a fallopian tube enough that they could see the abnormality on ultrasound, which led to laparoscopy, removal of that tube, and a stage IV endo diagnosis. If that had been looked into three years earlier, maybe I'd still have both tubes, maybe IVF wouldn't have been necessary.

(IVF did work, first time! When DD1 was a year old we conceived DD2 naturally, which is another reason that I think treating the endo earlier might have avoided the need for IVF at all)

HolyMerlot · 13/10/2025 23:05

Maybe ask if they intend testing your thyroid (TSH level) at any point as a lot of clinics want your TSH to be 2.5 or below to give the treatment the best chance of success.

In the couple of weeks before we were ready to undergo our first attempt, my TSH was routinely tested for the first time and found to be 3.2 which, while normal for my age bracket, was too high for treatment. The clinic then wanted me on the thyroid medication for at least 6 weeks with blood tests to check my TSH had been brought below 2.5. This obviously delayed the timing of our first treatment cycle.

Original poster
Imbrocator · 14/10/2025 15:45

HedwigIsMySpiritAnimal · 13/10/2025 22:56

Ask what their success rates are for your age group and not just overall - it can make a big difference.

Good luck, my IVF miracle is 18 now so I don’t remember much - and so much has changed - but don’t underestimate how tough the journey is and be kind to yourself 🥰

Thank you, that’s a really good point. Congratulations on your success! It’s really encouraging to hear.

OP posts:
Original poster
Imbrocator · 14/10/2025 15:48

TheInvisibleWorm · 13/10/2025 22:56

I should have asked "do you think it could be endometriosis?" - they only ever asked about period pain, which I didn't really have. I had pretty much every other endo symptom though! I count myself lucky that it eventually damaged a fallopian tube enough that they could see the abnormality on ultrasound, which led to laparoscopy, removal of that tube, and a stage IV endo diagnosis. If that had been looked into three years earlier, maybe I'd still have both tubes, maybe IVF wouldn't have been necessary.

(IVF did work, first time! When DD1 was a year old we conceived DD2 naturally, which is another reason that I think treating the endo earlier might have avoided the need for IVF at all)

Very good idea. I’ve had doctors suggest I might have endometriosis based on one symptom (painful sex), but I don’t have any of the other symptoms at all, and the pain only started after I had a brief period with a copper coil (and then never went away!). Never got to the bottom of that one but I’ll flag it up when I speak to them.

Really glad to hear that you had such success in the end!

OP posts:
Original poster
Imbrocator · 14/10/2025 15:49

HolyMerlot · 13/10/2025 23:05

Maybe ask if they intend testing your thyroid (TSH level) at any point as a lot of clinics want your TSH to be 2.5 or below to give the treatment the best chance of success.

In the couple of weeks before we were ready to undergo our first attempt, my TSH was routinely tested for the first time and found to be 3.2 which, while normal for my age bracket, was too high for treatment. The clinic then wanted me on the thyroid medication for at least 6 weeks with blood tests to check my TSH had been brought below 2.5. This obviously delayed the timing of our first treatment cycle.

That’s really good to know. I believe I have had a thyroid function test through my GP but I’ll definitely check that, as I didn’t know that it was a requirement to have it below a certain level. How frustrating for you that they didn’t flag it earlier though!

OP posts:
priaaa · 14/10/2025 20:03

I agree asking about endo! I had treatment for endo and that’s how I conceived (immediately) afterwards so didn’t need IVF in the end

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