I’m going crazy.
every month I convince myself it’s gonna be positive. Only to notice every similar sign that my period is coming and still live in denial until the full flow arrives.
when I was ttc no. 1, I’d eventually convinced myself it wasn’t going to happen (after nearly 2 years) then resigned to having to go for an IVF appointment the following month (NHS referral was in progress at this point) & I fell pregnant. I’m not sure if HSG or just the mental load went when I didn’t believe it was going to happen anymore, but thankfully something worked.
I’ve been ttc no. 2 now for over a year and the fact is now I physically cannot chill out because I know there’s always a slight chance, even though at nearly 38 I know each cycle my chances are less and less. The pressure compounds the stress which in turn makes it worse, but I really want a sibling for my child and for there not to be too much of an age gap. I’m also worried about perimenopause being around the corner.
I paid for a private HYCOSY a few months ago with the hope it might help, but nothing.
partner says not to stress which is easy to say when you’re not feeling every wave of sickness or twinge with exhausting false hope for two weeks.
is anyone else in a similar situation or can just provide words of wisdom to help relax.