Weddings and trying

[Sweetiedarling2024]

I really want to start trying for a baby. I’ve been married for almost 2 years, and been with my husband for 7 years. I have a solid career, we own a home, have a good amount saved and we’re now both in the mindset for this. I feel I have waited so long for this. We’re 30 so no rush realistically.

Issue is, our upcoming friend’s international weddings. One of my husband’s best friends (who was one of his groomsmen) gets married in the US (we are based in the UK), next June. AND, my best friend (my MOH) gets married next Aug, in Italy.

My question is, is it totally ridiculous if I start trying now? Part of me is like, fuck it. I’m sick of waiting. Selfishly, I am sick of pausing my life for other people. But then that would effectively stop my husband going to his friend’s wedding, which feels unfair.

Or do I just wait until next year and start trying for an October baby at the earliest so I can go to both events? But, I’d be heavily pregnant at my friend’s wedding, in Italy, in August… Not ideal, but doable.

Other option is waiting until next August to start trying, but the idea of having to wait until spring 2027 for a baby makes me feel hollow.

I am at the stage where I keep crying over this. Last year, when one of our friends had a baby, I cried all over my husband because I desperately wanted a baby and nothing has changed since then. I feel ridiculous writing this but it’s all consuming. I love kids and this is all I’ve ever wanted. I also really want my parents to be grandparents.

Thank you

You have to live your life for you not for everyone else. I doubt they'd be holding off if the tables were turned. Timing wise, your husband could potentially go to his friends wedding alone? My husband did this year as I was pregnant although the wedding was in Europe. Also you do not know how long it will take you to fall pregnant.

I’m 33 and we’re now 18 months into trying, with one ectopic pregnancy a year ago. I’ve been to countless weddings and life events now where I thought I might be pregnant/have to miss if I was very pregnant. That ache and want you have will only get deeper. Honestly just start trying and life will work around it. I sincerely hope it’ll be a smooth, quick road for you but if it turns out not to be, you’ll kick yourself if you waited till August next year to even start xxx

I echo what @Percy15 has said. You don’t know how long it will take. I waited for certain things in life before trying, and now I regret that a lot 2 years down the line. If you do get pregnant, it is what it is & you’ll sort something out with the weddings

I'm 9 years, 4 miscarriages and a neonatal death into trying for a family. My case may be more extreme, but I certainly didn't expect to be in this situation! I'd say if having a baby is most important to you, then go ahead and start trying. Anything could happen (although hopefully nothing bad!).

It’s good to have an autumn baby. They will be on the older side at school. So personally I’d wait til the New Year, and then you will hopefully be about five/six months along and even if you fell pregnant straight away could still make the weddings. It’s only three months away.

I wouldn’t be planning my babies’ births around someone else’s wedding. It could take you ages to fall pregnant, you may have miscarriages, the weddings might get called off, other friends might also make wedding plans, you might not be able to go to the wedding for other reasons anyway.

If you want to start trying for a baby, start on your own schedule, but don’t assume a baby will arrive 9 months after you stop using contraception.