Heartbroken. Anyone trying again after miscarriage?

[mrsplumfairy]

Hi

I finally conceived after 8 months of trying in July….perfect heartbeat at 6 weeks but went to our 12 week scan and there was no heartbeat and baby was only measuring 8 weeks. I am absolutely heartbroken.

I have another scan next Thursday to see if there is any progress and if baby hasn’t come away naturally by then, need to decide on ‘medical’ or ‘surgical’ removal. Any advice on these welcome…

I am 37 so worrying that time is not on my side. Anyone conceived again after a missed miscarriage? Did it take long? I’m torn between waiting, grieving and just diving straight back into it. So sad and feeling all the feels today.

x

So sorry. I had three miscarriages. Two much like yours, one a bit earlier. I had an overwhelming urge to just get pregnant straightaway each time. Looking back I don't know how I kept going really, but I just refused to give up. I do remember one doctor suggesting grief counselling, which was the first time anyone had really acknowledged how awful it was...

But you are only 37 - I see no need to wait though. Just dive back in.

Wishing you all the luck in the world. Xx

I am so sorry for your loss. It’s awful. It happened to me at 38. I tried again immediately, fell pg quickly and lost it very quickly. Decided to let my body heal a bit and then waited 3 months. It took a further 3 months after that but then I had a successful pregnancy (and another one 16 months later at 41). Experts say there is no right or wrong about trying again but I felt that my body (and heart) needed a bit of time to recover after what felt like a devastating loss. Take care of yourself. I wish I could tell you that it will definitely be ok but I hope very much it will be.

So sorry it’s so cruel, I had two healthy babies but then we couldn’t conceive for 2 years then had a miscarriage at 38 and another at 39.
I was 41 when I gave birth to a healthy little boy by which time I’d stated giving up hope.
I wouldn’t wait as you never know how things will go.
Hoping it all works out well for you.

So sorry OP, this happened to us last month. Went to our 12 week scan and found out baby had died at 8-9 weeks. It is the most devastating thing that has ever happened to me. I had had no signs whatsoever anything was amiss and had been very sick throughout the 12 weeks.
I opted for surgery and was glad I chose this option. It was all over very quickly and I didn’t experience any pain after the operation. I recovered well physically.
Be kind to yourself in the next few weeks. So sorry that you have had to go through this. It really is such a cruel experience.

Thank you for your replies and kind words. It’s just the most awful thing isn’t it.

@Orchidqueen05 have you decided if and when you will try again? I wish I’d just gone for the surgery because it’s been a week and still absolutely no signs there is anything wrong.

@mrsplumfairy we decided to wait for my period to return as I wanted to have a few weeks to process things and to have some faith that my body was back in working order after the surgery. My period has just come back four weeks after the surgery and we are ttc again this cycle.

I'm sorry for your loss.
I had two miscarriages last year trying to conceive my second. I turned 37 just after the second miscarriage so similar position to you. I conceived a third time immediately after the second loss, without a period in between and this one stuck and is now a 3 week old.

After the first miscarriage I needed a few weeks to process as to came out of the blue. I started bleeding on the Tuesday and they confirmed I had passed the pregnancy on the Thursday with an early scan. The second miscarriage I was having scans at the epu which showed the pregnancy wasn't growing at the expected rate. At 9 weeks we were told there was no longer a heartbeat and we had another week wait to have the miscarriage confirmed. I started bleeding the day before this scan and passed the pregnancy the next day. As I had started bleeding I asked for a few days to see if my body would pass the pregnancy without intervention.
I processed that this probably wasn't going to be a successful pregnancy before the end and felt ready to start trying again straight away. We did both agree that this would be our last try though. I had hyperemesis in the pregnancies and I didn't have it in me to keep going through that and I was unsure if my well being could keep up with further losses.

I'm so sorry - I've had 4 miscarriages and a neonatal death at 22 weeks pregnant. I had surgical management as all my 4 miscarriages were missed miscarriages. It took us 6 months, 9 months, 6 months, 3 months to conceive after each one.
I'm now waiting for my period to come back after losing our little girl then we will be trying again from next month x

I am so sorry for your loss lovely .
I'm currently going through a miscarriage too. Im on day 4 of heavy bleeding .it feels rubbish. This is my second one. I had a gut feeling something wasn't right at 6 weeks and throughout that week had repeat beta bloods which showed my hcg had plateaued , it was extremely low to begin with and at 7 weeks I had a scan which there was no heartbeat. I would have been 8 weeks now and just started bleeding few days ago.
I think only you know the answer as to when your ready. Take the time you need to grieve.
I understand how the ageing process plays a part. I want to dive straight in too as I'm 40. I had a mc at 36. I gave birth to my first child at 38. He was an ivf baby. This pregnancy, we actually went through ivf again but we froze our two embryos as my bloods revealed it wasn't an ideal time for transfer, and we would have to do a frozen transfer in a few months. 2 weeks later we found out we conceived naturally during that ivf cycle, I couldn't believe it. What are the chances. Its our first naturally pregnancy in over 20 years trying. It's been devastating that it's ended in a miscarriage.
Big hugs to you

Hey, if it helps there’s a WhatsApp group with members from Mumsnet who are conceiving/TTC after loss. If you fancy it might be nice to be part of a group with likeminded people who know what it’s like

Im so sorry. Its such a painful thing. The same thing happened at my 12 week scan two years ago. My loss was complicated and dragged on for a couple of months. I got an infected womb and felt a wreck. But three months later I was pregnant again with my son. It felt like forever at the time and my heart felt so broken. I still get so sad thinking about that time but now I feel a sense of peace about it because if that hadn't happened then I wouldn't have my son. Wishing you so much luck.

Ahhh ladies so sorry you’ve all been through/going through the same rubbish situations.

I just feel so so sad..there has been no progress with the natural management (no bleeding or loss etc) so I think I’m going to opt for surgery after next weeks scan if nothing has happened by then.

it’s encouraging that lots of you have conceived soon after a miscarriage. I’m going to start taking all my vitamins again today and try and think a little more positively.

I will join the WhatsApp group too.

thank you all ❤️