How long did you wait before seeing a fertility clinic?

[Imbrocator]

My partner and I have been trying for a baby since around March last year. Initially this wasn’t particularly serious - we had regular sex and decided to just see what happened.

I started to make a more serious effort to have sex around ovulation in September last year. Roll on to now, and there’s been nothing - not even a late period. I believe we did conceive once, but I had a very heavy period on day 21 (unusual for me - my cycles are like clockwork). Nothing since then.

I’m curious to know how long others waited before seeing a fertility clinic. I’ve been referred by my GP, all sperm and blood tests came back normal, but the waiting list is minimum 2 years and I don’t want to wait until I’m 38! I already feel practically ancient, so contemplating going private, though we’re not exactly flush at the moment.

If you’ve gone through something similar, particularly if there wasn’t anything clearly wrong (no issues with tests, no miscarriages), how long did you wait before biting the bullet and seeking specialist help?

After a year we were referred via our GP, initially prescribed Clomid before being referred for ivf. Is the 2 year wait for ivf? Have you asked about other options like Clomid, if all your results so far are normal it could be a good option for you.

I haven’t been in this position but we always had agreed before we starting trying for our first that we would try for about 18 months and if nothing happened would then start the ball rolling on extra help, this was in our early twenties though. At 35+ if I knew I really wanted children then I wouldn’t have been content to wait that long and after 6 months I’d have been looking towards help.

Depends how old hon are really? Under 35 I’d say try a bit longer. Over 35 I’d get the ball rolling sooner rather than later

We waited 12 months, but probably would have gone sooner except we had one DC.

I'd probably go after 6 months if no kids, to check hormone levels and do sperm analysis.

If you are 38, I would be making a GP appointment this week. The advice is if you've been trying for over a year to see the GP, and if you already older than 36, then to see the GP earlier. You are well beyond that so perfectly reasonable to ask for an appointment. Could you afford to go privately? If so, then you will be able to get things moving very quickly. But if not, trusts can massively vary.

https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/trying-for-a-baby/trying-to-get-pregnant/

For our eldest daughter, I had a 6month wait and I already had known PCOS, but that was during covid. For my youngest daughter, the letter initially said 28weeks wait for first appointment, but actually, when the appointment came it was something like 11 weeks i think? So nowhere near as bad.

Good luck!

Thanks so much for everyone’s replies. For clarity, we’ve had sperm and blood tests which showed no issues, and I’m 36 (having started trying about a year and a half ago).

I am in the process of making an appointment privately to see a specialist, as the GP told me that seeing anyone through the NHS (IVF or otherwise) would be a 2 year wait, so would be 38 by the time I (maybe) get to see someone.

However it often feels like I’m playing a game of chicken against my own advancing age. IVF seems very scary, expensive and medically invasive to me, and yet I’m not getting pregnant every month naturally! It really does feel like time is ticking away, but I still hope each month that this time will be the one.

I’m finding it hard to be practical and let the dream of conceiving naturally go, especially as my partner isn’t pushing for it and is happy to leave the decision in my hands.

I suppose what I’m trying to understand is what made others decide to go down the IUI/IVF route and at what point did you give up on the dream of conceiving naturally? Was it after advice from specialists? A straightforward decision that after X number of months we’ll seek help?

You dont have to go straight to IVF / IUI. Have you had a hycosy / hsg yet? That may be something they suggest first to check for any blockages preventing pregnancy and lots of women report falling pregnant in the next 3 cycles after one is done. Some fertility drs suggest trying clomid or letrozole to trigger ovulation even if you don't have any PCOS to be sure of ovulation at a particular point so you can time having sex within that window. Id say go to your first appointment with an open mind and see what they suggest. Don't feel pressured to commit to a plan there and then - you can come away and think about it once you've had the appointment. I had my treatment through the NHS but everyone (bar one doctor) who i encountered throughout the whole process was so lovely and supportive and especially when answering many questions that I had!

I have a couple of friends who went for IUI, I know at least for one of them it was a case of “we want a baby, we’ve been trying for 18 months and nothing has happened, not prepared to waste anymore time on that” which prompted them to go for it.

I also have a few friends who went for IVF and for at least 2 of them it was really their age that spurred them into action. The older you get, the older your eggs get, the quality of the sperm decreases, the lower your chances of success even with IVF get. For 2 of them it was again a case of we’ve tried for X months, nothing has happened but we want a baby, the longer we delay IVF the less likely even that is to be successful so why wait.

We have just started TTC but I am 35 and have endometriosis so we are going to make an appointment this month. I was wondering if we self fund, will they see us without us having to have tried for 2 years? My sister struggled and I don't want to wait.