TTC No 6 at 37 and struggling

[killbill3]

Hi lovely mums,
I’m currently TTC baby number 6 and wondering if anyone else is in the same boat as me? I’m 37 and feeling a little conscious that time isn’t quite on my side. It seems to be taking longer this time around, and I’d really appreciate hearing from others in a similar situation. Any tips or experiences on conceiving naturally at this stage would be so helpful. 💕

Five is plenty, honestly.

I find this post a little insensitive for people who are actually struggling to conceive AT ALL. You have 5 kids!

I don’t even know if I can take yoh seriously wondering about struggling to conceive a 6th baby. It’s a little insensitive to other people but more to the point the phrase count your blessings springs to mind

Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts. I definitely didn’t mean to come across as insensitive. I know TTC can be a very painful journey for so many. I just wanted to reach out to see if anyone else at my age has experienced TTC taking longer, as this is new for me and a bit worrying. I’m really just looking for advice and encouragement from others who might relate. Sending love to everyone on their journeys too 💕.”

Define ‘longer than usual’.

how do you even have time or the energy to be trying for number 6?!

I probably should’ve explained my circus a little better 🤹‍♀️. When I say baby number 6, technically it would only be my 2nd biological child. I have my wonderful DD (9), two adopted DS (my late sister’s boys, who are mine in every sense), and two little angel babies I like to think of as part of the crew too. So, yes, I call it 6, because in my heart they’re all mine ❤️

I conceived my daughter at 27 (took about a year or soa), but since then I’ve had the losses in 2022 at 24 weeks and 2024 at 38 weeks, and now at 37 it feels like my ovaries are moving at dial-up speed instead of fibre optic. I’m just here for tips from anyone else who’s found TTC at this age like waiting for a bus in the rain long, frustrating, and you’re never sure if it’s even on the way.

No insensitivity meant at all, just a fellow TTC-er looking for some solidarity (and maybe a laugh while we wait for the stork .

What disgusting woman commenting on someone's post like this. What gives you all the right to judge how many kids this lady has. Her question was asking for advice about ttc not about her choice to expand her family. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Its not her fault that some woman struggle to conceive, we can feel empathy for those woman but no one has the right to make other people tread on eggshells because of personal struggles. We are all trying to get to the same end goal no matter how many times someone has conceived. You all judged her before knowing her story, before knowing her journey or her struggles.

@killbill3 your amazing for taking on children you did not conceive yourself and im so glad to read that you make sure they all know they are loved the same. Whether or not those children were all biologically your or not, you should have the same rights to ask questions about ttc like any other person here without being judged. Im so sorry those woman were rude to you. As for your question with ttc taking longer , yes as you age you create less viable eggs which makes it harder to find the egg to fertilise so naturally this could take longer . If you have been trying for longer then a year, id suggest talking to your gp to run a few simple tests just to make sure everything is still working lile clockwork and there is nothing amiss.

I find this comment insensitive considering you 1) clicked on someone’s thread about baby number 6
2) you just assumed all children are living and attacked OP for no reason
3) how dare you tell someone if they are allowed to struggle or not. It’s sad some people cannot get pregnant, but that doesn’t mean OP cannot be sad.

I’m so sorry you had all the awful comments to begin with. You have as much right as any woman to ask a question around TTC - regardless of age, number of children or pregnancies. So I apologize that fellow women have chosen this as an opportunity to tear you down and question your choices.

I’m 34 and TTC my third child, but my first with my husband. I too am finding it longer to conceive so can understand your looking for like minds. This month I’ve decided to try harder (haha!) and I have bought pre seed lubricant to supposedly help the sperm get to the egg, I’m taking folic acid (have from the beginning) and I’m avoiding any alcohol around ovulation and up until my period is due. Also reduced my caffeine intake. Been trying for 18 months with no luck so far so I’m hoping little changes could help!

Wishing you all the best! X

@Miraclemuma03 Your words honestly moved me thank you for standing up for me and for seeing my journey for what it truly is. It means so much to know that someone recognises the love I have for all my children, no matter how they came to me. Your kindness and empathy restore my faith in humanity. Wishing you all the best always. 💛

@Givemegivemegiveme22 Thank you for stepping in and calling things out so clearly. It made me feel protected at a time I felt vulnerable, and I can’t tell you how much that meant. Knowing there are people like you who stand up for fairness and compassion really reassures me. Sending you lots of good wishes. 🌸

@Brushbun Thank you so much for holding space so gently and for sharing your own TTC journey with me. Reading your words made me feel less alone, and I truly admire your strength and positivity despite how tough it’s been. I’m sending you so much love and hoping with all my heart that your little miracle is on its way soon. ✨💐

I’m not sharing much about our TTC journey with close friends or relatives at the moment, just because in the past I’ve had some really hurtful comments like being “too fertile” or that I’d “bang out 10 kids” 🙄. Those words were said when I was pregnant with my second angel baby, who I sadly lost in March last year 💔.

We’ve been trying on and off since then, but properly for the last three months. Thank you so much for the comment about egg viability I looked it up and it makes a lot of sense. I’ve cut out 🍸 and I’m hoping that will help too.

I also heard someone mention cupping and intermittent fasting as ways to help balance hormones and support pregnancy, but I’ve never tried either. Has anyone here had experience with that?

If I do get pregnant it would be my 4th pregnancy but only my second living baby and that makes 6 in the clan, so this journey feels very different and very precious. 💛

Evening, OP. The whole TTC journey is a strange one. Sometimes it happens straight away, sometimes, and for no reason, it doesn't.
I don't think you're too old at 37, and you've had no problems conceiving before.
The usual rule of thumb is to go to the GP for a referral if it's been more than a year. If you have the funds, though, you could go for a private investigation.
Good luck 🤞
ps Sorry for your losses 💐

I'm not sure about either cupping or intermittent fasting. Sometimes alternative treatments can give a sense of control, and mostly are harmless, but do check them out. It's not been long, so take confidence from that.

I do hope you can afford go look after all those children, especially given the state of the world, and how its going to absolute hell. You have five already! 🤨

So what? If OP can independently afford to provide for and thrive 6 children, she should be able to without judgment.

If OP is struggling with time/fairness and finances already, having another is just stupid but we don’t know that situation.

Anyone, whether they’re struggling with infertility or not is able to read a title and decide for themselves if it will upset them. If you’re sensitive, get off MUMSnet

I was trying at your age and we got there in the end but it wasn’t all smooth sailing . I had a year with 4 miscarriages then nearly a year struggling to conceive , good luck xx

@decenteringmen Im sorry but how do you know what kind of situation this woman is in to hope that she can afford to look after all those children. Please leave the negative comments somewhere else. My god I’ve never been so gobsmacked by the amount of women on here who feels it’s their right to comment such mean things, I bet you wouldn’t be brave enough to say that to the lady’s face. I’ve experienced two losses last year and not once did I think anything was selfish about this post shame on you girls. Hope you do well on your journey and may it be filled with positivity and love ❤️ @killbill3

How are you going @killbill3 with ttc?

I’m doing okay-ish. We’ve been trying for a few months now, but after the late losses it feels different this time. My husband isn’t keen to push too hard, as he’s worried he wouldn’t be able to cope with another loss. Our eldest two boys are grown up and out of the house, so it’s mostly just me, my daughter, and my husband working long shifts. I’m not sure if this will be our month. My cycle has shortened recently from 31 days down to about 26, and it feels like my body is just releasing all the non-viable eggs quickly.

How are things with you @Miraclemuma03 ? And sorry if I went on a bit there.

You have definitely had a very rough time of it especially with 2 very late term losses, that must be very hard. Im sorry you had to go through that and I can understand your husbands worries. If you want another baby unfortunately all there is to do is push forward. Maybe get some tests done to see if everything is still in good working order.

We have a bus load of kids. 2 of my older kids are adults and moved out of home and my 3rd just turned 18 and they go down from there with my youngest turning 2 in Jan. We have also suffered loads of losses and we had to have a tfmr at 16weeks which was by far the hardest lost we have had, we also had a chemical in November last year with what was our last embryo from our 2021 cycle and have gone in to do 2 more cycles since but nothing has come if it. We have 1 embryo left from our last cycle so we will see what comes of that but think our journey is also coming to an end.

@Miraclemuma03 Thank you for sharing something so personal, I can only imagine how much strength it takes to keep going after everything you’ve been through. The late losses, the TFMR, the chemicals, the IVF cycles… that is such a heavy journey, and I’m so sorry you’ve had to carry all of that. It’s clear how much love you have for your children, both here and the ones you’ve lost.

I hear you when you say you feel like the journey may be coming to an end. Whatever happens with your remaining embryo, please know your story and your resilience are deeply inspiring. I just want to send you kindness and hold space for you here, you’re not alone.

I’m finding things feel very different since my late losses. Around ovulation I’ve been getting spotting or blood-streaked discharge, and on my LH surge/ovulation days I feel so bloated it even makes certain positions really uncomfortable. My cycle is 26 days, and this month the cramps have been so strong that I already feel like I’m out, even though my period isn’t due until 14th October. 💔 It’s disheartening, but I wanted to share as part of my journey.

@Miraclemuma03 Thank you for sharing something so personal, I can only imagine how much strength it takes to keep going after everything you’ve been through. The late losses, the TFMR, the chemicals, the IVF cycles… that is such a heavy journey, and I’m so sorry you’ve had to carry all of that. It’s clear how much love you have for your children, both here and the ones you’ve lost.

I hear you when you say you feel like the journey may be coming to an end. Whatever happens with your remaining embryo, please know your story and your resilience are deeply inspiring. I just want to send you kindness and hold space for you here, you’re not alone.

I’m finding things feel very different since my late losses. Around ovulation I’ve been getting spotting or blood-streaked discharge, and on my LH surge/ovulation days I feel so bloated it even makes certain positions really uncomfortable. My cycle is 26 days, and this month the cramps have been so strong that I already feel like I’m out, even though my period isn’t due until 14th October. 💔 It’s disheartening, but I wanted to share as part of my journey.

that’s one hell of a drip feed OP.
I conceived both mine after four months trying when I was 41 and 43. So it can happen. But considering your history there may well be issues so consult a doctor (not a GP).

Have you thought about talking to your gp to run some tests for possible perimenopaus? I am currently going through it, i also started a little earlier at 35 and it ramped up 2yrs ago, a couple of months before doing a transfer to have our now 21mth old. Things like spotting between periods and slight hot flushes were my first signs and now my body is all over the place. You might need a little help with ovulation and uterus lining and possibly progesterone. Won't hurt to get your gp to run a cycle day 21 progesterone test and have a look at the lining of your uterus around the time you ovulate to check thickness.

Ignore the horrible responses. They are totally uncalled for.
In terms of advice I would recommend if you haven’t already getting a full panel of thyroid and hormone bloods done.
Supplements that can help are :
Ubiquinol
vit D
Inositol
omega 3

Also consider getting a SA for your DH/DP

Make sure you are getting enough good quality sleep, that you eat a varied diet that keeps blood sugar balanced and that you don’t under or over exercise.

Good luck ❤️

Also this is probably really obvious but don’t drink smoke or vape as these are horrific for fertility !