1dpo 20/08 - how do you cope in the TWW?

[Mismatc]

Last month was the first that hit me super super hard. I’m 36 and I have an 18 month old, 12 and 11 year old. We have been trying since my 18 month old was born but only had cycles back since January.

Last month I was so unstable. I spent two weeks being a nightmare (the week before and week of AF) with no ability to sort through my feelings. I wanted to stop trying altogether to take some control back.

I am now 1dpo and so nervous. I really don’t want to feel like that again and I can already feel the pressure around it all building. How do you cope?

I’ve been trying for 20 months and had a miscarriage 2 cycles ago and am frankly desperate to get pregnant. Doesn’t help that I’m 36 and all my friends are having babies around me too.

The way I cope in the two week wait is trying to control the controllables and keep medium busy. I’ve also accepted now that my anxiety is valid and real so it’s just something I live with rather than trying to get annoyed at myself for being silly.

It is tough!

I’m on cycle 4 at 40 years old and have had two chemical pregnancies so far. So I’m seeing two lines but then they’re fading away.

For this TWW I’ve actually enjoyed the fact that it’s “anything is possible”. I haven’t had a negative test yet. So my body could be doing incredible things for all I know, and I like thinking about that. It’s like, the only time I have any peace during the month, as the first two weeks are worrying if I’ll ovulate and catch my peak, and then if we do everything we can. This is the stress free bit as far as I’m concerned now 😅

@CharLdn that was so so helpful, thank you. I like the “control the controllables” mantra and I felt so validated to hear you are validating your own anxiety. I will take a leaf out of your book, I have definitely been hard on myself about my feelings. It is so different to my DHs experience because it is in my body and at the forefront of my mind so he doesn't quite get it

@EmPeEf that’s so interesting! The easiest bit for me is the beginning of the cycle when anything is possible in my mind. At ovulation I find the intimacy a bit difficult sometimes because I’m not sure I feel desired or it’s a job but I feel hopeful. I then seem to get so obsessive and last month just couldn’t cope during the TWW and beginning of AF. So interesting that we all struggle with different times of the cycle. I’m so sorry about the chemicals - I can’t imagine how heartbreaking that has been for you

2dpo today

Thank you. I used to have the same feelings during the cycle as you mentioned. But now I just stress I’ll get everything done during the important times. I started tracking OV before I could TTC and wasn’t getting peak tests. And I didn’t record a peak in the month I didn’t get pregnant. So for me, especially at my age, it’s not a given that that part is all functioning well.

After the chemicals I thought I’d never be able to get excited about another BFP. Because it didn’t mean baby for me like it seems to with all the YouTube videos and shorts I see. But I decided fuck that, I’m going to enjoy every single day I seem to be pregnant. Otherwise I’ll never stop worrying it will end. Not even after a 12 week scan. Figured that was no way to live for my mental health x

@Mismatc I’m 10dpo today and madly symptom spotting - really testing my own advice!