On to the 3rd cycle of ttc

[AnonymousUser101]

Hello everyone,

I just needed to offload really as I don’t have any one else to talk to. My husband and I are on our third month of trying and I know it’s only the 3rd cycle and we’re early on in our ttc journey so please don’t come for me, I know some people have been trying for years but I just find it so exhausting and frustrating getting your hopes up each month. I’ve wanted a baby for so many years now and I find it so hard seeing others announcing their pregnancy or the birth of their baby. I can talk to my husband about it but he just doesn’t understand how I feel, he just tells me to not think about it and it will happen when it happens but I just can’t think like that, it’s all I think about. It just consumes every part of me, I want a baby so bad. I’ve cried the last two months when I get my period. I’m just looking for words of wisdom or just someone out there who gets it because right now I have no one and I feel so lonely through this process.

Please try not to stress. I think most of us know how consuming TTC can be but you must try not to let it take you over when it's only been two months. You could easily fall pregnant within the next few weeks.

Statistically most couples will conceive within a year - 95% within 2 years. I've been on these boards nearly two years now and nearly everyone I have interacted with has fitted into that 95% - myself included, although none of my pregnancies have resulted in a living child yet.

With the greatest respect and sympathy, you need to calm down. Your husband is right - at this stage you really do need to try not to let it take over your life. By around 7/8 months in I definitely felt it starting to consume me, and if I remember thinking if I end up having to do this for another 7/8 months I won't cope. But, I did cope, with disappointment and loss and things I'd not even imagined. So if your journey ends up being difficult you will find the strength and there's great support here for that too! But, for now, adjust your expectations. It's most likely you'll be pregnant within the next 10 cycles.

It's okay to be sad when your period comes, but try to shift your thinking to it being not now, rather than not ever.

It is hard as we hear so much about accidental pregnancies and people who catch first time, but the reality is those occasions are a bit more newsworthy - people are more likely to tell you about how they got pregnant on the pill against all odds. People don't share their stories of trying for 10 cycles as often - it's just not as notable.

The most important thing to remember when you go into ttc is that it is completely normal to take 12 months to get pregnant and that it doesn’t mean anything is wrong. The NHS states some woman get pregnant in the first month, some take longer and although upsetting it is normal.

I went through losses before our son and he is worth the whole journey and heartache. We are now looking to ttc our second and I have told myself for my own sanity not to stress about it happening within 2 months and to remind myself that most couples take on average 4-8 months to concieve.

You are so so so early into your journey. Don’t ruin this exciting chapter.

If in a years time still no luck then speak to GP xx

That sounds so insanely difficult, I'm so sorry.
You are so strong that you managed to get through two cycles of not conceiving... This would've completely broken so many people.

Sarcasm?

OP I actually understand how you feel. When I was TTC every cycle (even the very first) where I didn't get pregnant broke my heart because like you I had wanted a baby for years before we actively started trying. It was over 18 months of trying before we conceived my DD. I feel so much for those who have tried for years because those 18 months were so hard, even though I know many have it much worse. Please know it is totally normal to for it to take a few months, the GP won't even investigate unless you have tried for over 12 months as its not uncommon, so please just try not to worry. Track your ovulation and try a hobby to keep distracted during the 2 week wait. I have my fingers crossed that it happens soon for you x

Hi! I think most of us replying will have been through the mill with this, and whilst you’re still very early on in your TTC journey, it doesn’t mean that your feelings aren’t completely valid. What I would say, however, is that as everyone says it definitely is normal for it to take 12+ to conceive with no fertility problems, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time. Therefore trying to get into the mindset of expecting it to take that long, from the start, helps to manage expectations a little. I can say from experience (I conceived on my 17th month of TTC with no fertility issues) that what you are feeling only gets worse the longer it takes, and I don’t say that to make you feel bad, but just to express that you need to try and protect your heart as much as possible now, as I can assure you that if it does end up taking 1-2 years, you don’t want to end up a real mess emotionally by then.
I really don’t say that to minimise what you are feeling, just that trying to find a way to accept it may take longer for you and therefore not be getting so upset each month will only help you in the long run.

the month I conceived was the month(day!) we had our first infertility appt at the hospital, and I’m convinced the only difference that month was that I had already accepted that I needed help to conceive and that the doctors were going to get me pregnant!
best of luck with your journey xx