anembryonic at 44 - anyone success stories

[onewishplease]

I went for my scan on Thursday at what I thought was 7+6 to find that the pregnancy had never progressed. I just had a large empty sac. Heartbroken. Sent home and left to wait for it to pass. If it doesn't, I will have a D&C in 2 weeks. This is our 4th miscarriage. One chemical. One bleed at 8 weeks. One bleed at 5 weeks. And this, came as such a shock, as I hadn't bled, had/have symptoms, and thought things were progressing. I have no other children. Has anyone gone on to conceive at this age after a anembryonic? Feeling so low and that life can be so cruel, existing in limbo, waiting to bleed..woud love some positive stories - am I being ridiculous to cling onto hope?

I'm so sorry my darling, so very sorry. I know exactly how you're feeling.

I can tell you though after 12 consecutive losses, including an Ectopic - I'm currently sat at my kitchen table feeling my daughter wriggle at 33 weeks pregnant. I'm 44 and will be 45 when she arrives, my DH has just turned 50.

She is a natural conception and I guess fits the saying 'it just takes 1 good egg.'

If you know this is what you want, don't give up. Look after yourself as much as you need to. You'll know when it's time to call it a day ❤️

@Amuseaboosh thank-you for your kind words and inspirational story. That is wonderful that you are 33weeks and I wish you all the very best with your pregnancy and birth. It sounds like you went through such a lot to get to where you are. Have you had a D&C? My mum is keen for me to push for it sooner - I am not sure if she is being old fashioned, and leaning into anecdotal evidence - but she is suggesting it can make you more fertile? After previous miscarriages, I tried waiting, resting and preparing my body to try again - doing everything 'right' and still without success. Thinking I will go down the route of ignoring all advice and just trying straight away? Physically I/we are both very fit and healthy. My partner is also 50. This really is so hard..I just don't know what to do with myself..

...you are right. I think you do know. And I know I can't just stop trying after this. I won't be able to just let the ovulations pass..but the knocks I am taking with this are mentally huge. I have tried for 6 years, 3 unsuccessful IVF....I am pretty broken....

I think that actually a D&C has a small risk of removing too much lining, which can then affect your fertility, so I think your mum may be wrong. But please do your own research on this as I haven't looked into it much.

It might help to know that they think that around half of first trimester miscarriages are anembryonic pregnancies. So I wouldn't worry that having had one means anything - they are incredibly common.

Obviously at 44 and with an older partner it will be harder. But if you are getting pregnant quite quickly each time then you probably have a reasonable chance. It only takes one good egg. Good luck OP.

@MauraLabingi thank you for commenting and your encouragement. I do know this about a D&C, I am just reaching in terms of trying to think if there is something else I could try/worked for others...
We had a friend over and we were talking about a 3 week trip to India we did over Christmas in 2019 - I felt so sad looking at the photos and how I have had such a tough run since then. And I had no idea it was all to come...I have been suspended in this sad state going from one disappointment to another, and everyone around me, siblings and friends, lives have moved on so considerably in that time....

My story is very similar to yours. I started trying at 39. I’m now 44 and unfortunately haven’t had success. I’ve had one pregnancy where nothing grew so only had a sac. Had one missed miscarriage where it stopped growing at 6 weeks. Had another couple of chemical pregnancies. I chose to have surgical removal of both my failed pregnancies. Sadly I clearly wasn’t more fertile after them as I didn’t get pregnant quickly after.
Technically we still “try” every month. But I no longer bother testing for ovulation. We just have a bit more sex around the right time. I spent so long taking expensive vitamins, ovulation tests, had a few rounds of expensive IVF etc. None of it worked. So while we don’t let ovulation pass by, I think we’re pretty much done. At 44 I don’t expect it to work now for me.

I’m really sorry to read this @JauntyFace It is such a cruel journey for some of us. But miracles do happen and I hope we are both as lucky as @Amuseaboosh and the other couples you can find on here that have been blessed at our age 🙏

Bump.

Anybody? I have still not passed the pregnancy 11 days later. Still no signs of it moving. Did this happen to anybody else? And how do you decide to continue to wait or opt for assistance. My concern with the D&C is they take too much lining as highlighted above….It feels so ironic that for the 8 weeks I was pregnant (4 since I tested) I checked daily for blood on the tissue and prayed I would see none. And now, I keep hoping to see blood, and or feel back pain and signs I am beginning to pass the sac..and nothing…

Hi OP. My situation isn't exactly the same as yours but similar. I'm 37 and have one DD who was conceived with no issues and I had a straightforward pregnancy and delivery. I fell pregnant in Novemer 2024 but a missed miscarriage was discovered in January at nearly 10 weeks. Baby had stopped growing at 7 weeks. I opted for a D&C as I was so distraught and I wanted it all over and done with as quickly as possible.
Physically, the D&C was easy. Very minimal bleeding and pain afterwards. Emotionally and mentally much more difficult, as you know yourself.
I got my period back four weeks later so started TTC again after that. My cycles were shorter and I was ovulating later than normal. I know they say you're more fertile in the three months after a loss but that's such a generalisation. I think it takes time for your cycles to settle.
I did get another BFP on cycle #3 post loss but sadly, it was an anembryonic pregnancy also. Sometimes I wonder if I should have waited longer but the urge to be pregnant again is overwhelming. I opted for medical management at home this time. I read lots of horror stories but it was actually fine. Nothing like what I read online. I liked that I was at home with all my home comforts.
I opted for medical management this time as I wasn't keen on another surgery. I suppose I also never thought I'd be going through this again only four months after my first loss.
I'm currently back in my first cycle TTC post this loss and I'm in the TWW. I just couldn't bring myself to wait.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's so shit.

Hi OP, I am really sorry for your loss. Could you not opt for medical management of your miscarriage? It brings on a miscarriage. There would be no reason afterwards that it would affect your fertility. I am sorry you have had so many losses. I would probably keep trying if it were me in your shoes. People do have babies in their forties after multiple losses. But only you know when is right to stop trying. Sending hugs.

Hi @SureLook thanks for sharing your story and I hope this TWW is successful for you. If not, don’t give up. At 37 you are still plenty young enough to have another baby. It doesn’t feel like that probably after 2 loses this year, but your time will come. Keep taking care of yourself and try to cultivate a deep faith that things will work out as they are supposed to Xx I am scared of the chemicals involved in the medical management. Daft o know. But as I didn’t respond to IVF. And have spent years “cleaning” my body (organic food, no plastic, clean self care products etc) it feels like a step back to put chemicals in the mix. I think I will phone and ask what is the longest one can wait for it to pass naturally? I am so sad about this - but not desperate to get it moved out and start again. But as soon as it does pass, I’ll monitor ovulation and try straight away. I’ve had it both ways. Once I had a chemical and there was no increased fertility in the months after, another time I got pregnant the first time I tried….
Hi @Smallgnomethingy thanks for your lovely words. Def need those hugs Xx

@onewishplease thanks for your lovely words. I would keep trying if I was you too.
I asked how long could I be left until the D&C and they said when you get to around 11 weeks there's risk of infection.
With the D&C you're given one of the two medications for medical management to help open your cervix anyway. At least that was the case for me in Ireland.
If I had to choose I would go for medical management again. It was much nicer to do it at home and have my partner with me the whole time. It also felt more natural since my body was expelling it all.
I totally understand you sadness. It is so so sad. I hope you have good support and are being good to yourself x