I’m 36 and just found out I’m pregnant with number 3!

[Staceytz]

Hi ladies, I really need some advice. We have 2 beautiful kids 12 and 7. Independent perfect babies. I have just found out I’m pregnant with number 3. I’m 36 hubby is 41. I don’t have the best mental health right now as it’s been a tough year. No idea how this happened as we tried for 3 years to have baby 3. But since my hubby was 39 we said nope to the idea. But it’s happened. I feel terrible as I’m unsure if I want to keep it. Yeh age gaps are huge. I’m just finding who I am? Not just mum.I feel guilty as we did want this a few years ago. I’m also I guess depressed and have been for a while and noticing more now as I can’t think, I feel numb so I don’t know what I want ?? I’m scared I’ll regret not keeping it ? But also scared I’m taking away from my other 2. As my new focus would be the baby. They are at such a great age for me to enjoy with them not just look after them if that makes sence. But a new baby brother or sister how beautiful , I honestly cant decide. Advice if anyone has any :(

It's not a huge age gap We've got 11 years between our youngest 3 and our next teens and everyone adores everyone lol and I'm also older with MH aswell but luckily everyone is happy and that's all that matters and it's a balance of attention tbh as our teens even the boys were all in for helping with there little bro and sisters and enjoyed being included. Anyhow it worked for us and we love it

Thank you so much! I’m so scared. It’s been a really tough year iv not had a min to mentally recover, so I’m feeling very out of it! And panicking on what to do. I saw the dr today and he looked shocked and said do you want it ? Think it’s triggered me more. It’s comforting to hear your advise thank u xx

Hi! I also have 8 years difference between DS who is 9 and DD who is 1, it's honestly a beautiful age difference the way he takes care of his little sister is soo heartwarming. the decision is entirely yours but just know that age difference is just a number, and every one has it's pros and cons ❤

I got pregnant unintentionally when I was 41 with number 3. I absolutely did not want to go back to the baby years and the pressure it put on the marriage and finances. We were in a good place.
It was a little bit sad but I didn’t keep it and I have never regretted my decision.
Take some time, you have options, a preference either way will start to emerge in your mind.

You have the exact same circumstances as me (only 20+ years ago) . Sub fertile couple so first took 5 years, 2nd arrived 2 years later. Then nothing for 7 years. When I too was 39 and DH 41.
DD30 DS 28 & DD23 all super close and incredibly easy to raise. Eldest absolutely loved having a real baby to ‘look after’ . All graduated now and only one left at home .. it goes so quickly .

You are right! I think this was so unexpected and I’m still repairing my life / myself (we nearly went bankrupt/ people stole from us ect it’s been a year) this couldn’t have happened at a worse time. I’m numb. But when is a right time I guess 😪

I love this! Thank u , calmed my nerves abit! I have anxiety so I worry if I’ll be judged ect gosh I sound crazy.

Your right! I’m extremely early, thinking I’ll give it till Friday! Then be firm on what’s right. We’ve been under so much stress , would this make or break us I don’t know. I wish I could think I honestly just feel numb it’s horrible

I can’t comment on a lot of your points (other than to say take care of yourself and I hope you’re doing ok as it must be a huge shock) but I’ve just had no3 at the age of 40. I too was very worried about taking away from my other two - admittedly my age gaps are smaller with my eldest being 6, but any worries I had about the effect of no3 on them are already diminished. They absolutely love their new sibling and if anything I feel like the new baby has strengthened the bond between my elder two as they happily occupy themselves playing together if I am busy with baby. I know there will be up and downs ahead of course, but just on this one worry of yours I wanted to say it’s not all negative, far from it x

This made me cry! Thank u so much for writing this. Your right I just keep going in hi a dark place and had a horrible experience with the dr today. Really triggered me, I need to get my head in a good place and be greatful in just scared :( but your words really have made me breath abit more xx thank you

What are your finances now? Do you have space and money for a third child? Teenagers are expensive (although at least you will be spreading that cost over a number of years)

Yeh good! We are getting back on track savings ect wise so been abit tougher but all in all hubby makes a really good income. I didn’t think of that. Ahhh heads a mess. So many pros and cons.

You are going to have such a wide variety of yes/no response people will give you,like i had dd2 at just about to turn 36,13 years later I can honestly say I wouldn't go back and do it again.
Only you and your husband can make this choice x good luck either way x