Defeated with TTC - need to vent

[WildestDreams3]

TTC is such a rollercoaster. The first two weeks of every cycle until ovulation it's exciting, I feel optimistic, chilled etc. A week after ovulation the optimism starts to dwindle as PMS sets in, analysing every twinge knowing deep down it's nothing.

Saying every month 'i WON'T test early!' and then testing from 6dpo 😂 squinting at indents for days to ultimately get AF bang on time.

I'm only 8dpo right now but already feeling the optimism drain after I was sure I saw a shadow on wondfo this morning. It's been almost two years of tracking, not tracking, trying to 'relax', back to tracking and realising that my body is the worst troll ever 😭

If anyone has any positive TTC stories after 2 years of trying, I could really do with hearing them ❤️

I'm sorry you are going through this: it really is just like you describe it, like a rollercoster.
Although I don't have the same experience, I would advice you to not assume that whatever fertility issue you might have it's yours. Get your husband's/ partner's checked (sperm analysis, varicocele, testosterone levels...). There's a real fertility issue with men that nobody talks about. Many cases around me, of couples ttc where the men had the issues, and it was only an afterthought, after the focus was put on the women.
Best wishes 💐

Thank you so much for your kindness, I really appreciate it ❤️