Postpartum depression after miscarriage 3 months ago

[Cookiemg]

Has anyone had this type of depression after a miscarriage, kicking in a couple of months after it happened. I had a miscarriage 3 months ago, I found this out at my 12 week scan.My DH and I have been trying to conceive since then with no luck. Over the past couple of weeks a very, very dark cloud seems to have settled over me, could it be hormonal? I feel so, so hopeless and can't see ay future or anything going right again. My DH can experince erectile problems and has been prescribed viagra. I should be happy that we are finding ways around our problems but I am convincing myself that it won't work.Lots of good things happen to me in life but I can't seem to get happy about them. I am going to the doctors to ask about AD as I know that this has to be treated, I am so, so reluctant to go on them whilst trying to conceive but if I carry on the way that I am the depression will inhibit conception anyway.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had some mild depression after my m/c, but nothing compaired to what you're going through. I think it could be hormonal. I'm so glad you are seeking help. Your doc should be able to help you out.

I know exactly what you mean, although I wouldn't say that I was depressed exactly. I also found out that I had miscarried at my 12 week scan at the end of January. I thought that I was OK about it and dealt well with it at the time. However, at the moment I just keep thinking about what would now be happening in the run up to the birth, etc. I'd be in the final trimester, but instead am now not yet past first base, coupled with being terrified of it happening again .

I had an ectopic before my ds, but was pregnant very quickly afterwards and so was very pregnant by the due date for that, so I was wondering up it's a reaction to what would have been the third trimester and the impending due date.

Hope you feel a little more positive soon.

Hi Nina2

I am really sorry for your loss and what you are going through too. It is such a shock finding all this out when you expect all to be okay. What amazed me was the number of people who have come out of the woodwork saying that the same had happened to them. I guess miscarriage is just not spoken about and a lot of people suffer in silence.

It does sound as though you are replaying your previous experience and applying it to your curent situation. A huge postive came out of your sad situation quickly and you are having to deal with a very different set of circumstances and hence emotins this time around. Have you sought help to try to talk through your very natural fears?

I have conceived 3 times in my life; two ended in termination because of situations and all three were very quick conceptions, to the extent where I could pinpoint the exact day they happened. These experiences make you think that all conceptions will be the same.

Could we both be too stressed to conceive and still going through tremendous grief and fear for the future.

Maybe consider seeing someone and best wishes. x

Hi Nina
people don't talk about miscarriages and also seem to expect you to get up, brush yourself down and get on with life when you have had a m/c. They often see it as something purely medical iyswim rather than something bigger. I would say it is not unusual to be feeling the way that you do but do go and speak to the doctor because you want to be as relaxed as poss to facilitate future pregs (easier said than done).
I had 3 m/cs in relatively quick succession and then got preg with DS2. I think my body and mind did get quite exhausted and I did not realise how tense I had been about it all until DS2 arrived and I slept better that first night (even though I was in hosp!) than I had for months! You cannot help but worry but you also need to be able to live your life.
A curiously comforting thing for me (and I hope you don't mind me sharing this with you)- I was in the recovery room at the hosp post c/section with DS2 exactly a year to the day to being in the same recovery room post m/c.
And, finally, I think it is shattering to find out you have lost a baby at any time but seems particularly cruel at the 12 week scan when you think everything is OK and you think you've got through the difficult bit.

Hi Cookie, I'm really sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage at almost 9 weeks last year. I too was doing ok for a few months - better than I would have predicted I would have been if you'd told me it would happen, ifyswim - and them a few months later I totally crashed. It was probably around the time I should have been about 20 weeks and the next 6-8 weeks were pretty rough. I'm seeing a counsellor now which helps and would encourage you think about that, either instead or as well as ADs. But don't beat yourself up about ADs if that is the route for you. Look after yourself.

Jacklin - sorry I appreciate you may think you're helping but there is no scientific evidence whatsoever to back up your claims about 'holistic cures' and the content of your message suggests you've missed the point entirely. Peddling snake oil at grieving women is frankly cruel.