TTC after two miscarriages - one year later

[alice56]

I suffered two missed miscarriages in 2024, first in Jan and second in July, both at 8 weeks-ish.
Both needed MVA/D&C support to fix, with the second needing a hospital stay and quite traumatic, though in both cases they were confident everything was dealt with.

I have had some private bloodwork for recurrent miscarriage (RMC) which all came back clear, but am currently waiting on an appt. with my NHS RMC department in two weeks (6 months after they did the initial blood tests!)

We have been TTC since the last MC in August with no luck, and my GP has also started an IVF pathway.

All I see here is people who have miscarriages and get pregnant again quickly, and I feel like something is wrong with me that nobody is catching.

I have managed hypothyroidism, am 29, seeing an acupuncturist bi-weekly, taking all the right supplements, and just feel at a loss.

I wondered if anyone has any similar experiences or advice. I'm wondering do I have scarring? How can I speed things up? Will the RMC clinic refer for IVF now, or do I need to wait for another gyne appointment for that pathway? Will they offer me a tube flush? Do we just pay for IVF?

After my first MMC, it took us 15/16months to conceive again: you really aren’t alone in a long stretch of TTC after a miscarriage.

I found the whole “you are more fertile after miscarriage” and the speed with which everyone else seemed to fall pregnant (sometimes having a miscarriage and falling pregnant and announcing that pregnancy within the time we’d been trying since the miscarriage) really really very hard.

I can’t tell you how long you will be on this road or how many bumps there may be ahead of you.

The advice I would have given myself (if only I had known) is to try to find other things to be joyous in. As the months went on, not conceiving, seeing children born who had been conceived since my MMC, ALL of my focus and energy became focused on TTC and why I was “failing”. It was a pretty miserable way to live and I would have coped much better really throwing myself into my hobbies and interests.

I really do wish you all the best

Oh I can't tell you how much I appreciate this message, it made me cry (lots of things do right now though (!))

Did you have to do anything between your MMC and conceiving again? Or was it just a case of time and trusting the process. It is so hard to not live in that miserable space and I'm endlessly frustrated with myself I can't just get over it! Two years ago I was someone who wasn't even sure they wanted children, couldn't be more different now!

It can be such a hard lonely road.

I did do some things in that time (who knows whether they worked or not):

I got the Taking Charge of your fertility book by Toni Weschler and a very cheap thermometer with the correct Celsius reading (0.00) - slightly wish I’d got one with a light to read the temp in the dark! I did charting for about 5months

I took Opticbac for women which I think has no evidence that it assists at all but made me feel like I was at least trying something kind for my womb rather than viewing it as a defective piece of machinery

I threw away all my cheap pregnancy tests and made it a rule to not buy one (which had to be an expensive one) unless I was actually late (because I found testing early upset me)

but saying all that, I conceived in a month when I didn’t chart, we’d booked for an IVF appointment the following month, and I had broadly given up that we would ever get there which probably shows that all my interventions had no effect at all!