when do you decide to involve the doctors, and what is it like?

[CaptainKarvol]

Hi all,

I've been lurking and posting here for a long time now, ttc for about a year, at least 6 months of really trying and nothing at all. I'm 37 - DS is now 2.2 - and am desperate for a sibling for him and another child for me and DH.

Given my great age (well, that's how it feels), I'm on the verge of going to the docs and asking for some tests. But I hate the idea - I just want to be pg, not to be a patient, with tests and stress.

Can anyone reassure me? Am I being stupid wanting to involve doctors at this stage? What happens next if I do go? What are my options?

I just feel so miserable now. Last month I was in bits when my period arrived. This month I have been crying my eyes out at everything for the past week, and I'm not due on till Friday. I did a test this morning and nothing, not the glimmer of a line, so I guess nothing this month either. It's just taking over my life, I can't concentrate on my job, and I'm so stressed about getting older and older with no pregnancy.

Sorry for such a downbeat post, I just wanted to get it all down. Thank you for listening.

CaptainKarvol, poor you. That whole ttc rollercoaster is a nightmare, isn't it.

I was in a very similar position in 2006 and I ended up going to the doctors after about 7 months as I was too impatient and panicky that it would never happen.

What happened with me was that the GP argued that there was nothing to worry about and I should just relax(!) Then on my insistence sent me for blood tests (although she didn't really know the details of the tests, I had to tell her). After the results of these came through I think they showed that my hormones seemed normal and I got referred to the local infertility unit (because I was a different locum this time).
I had to wait approximately 2/3 months for the specialist appointment - and that was with ringing up frequently to get any cancellations.
That doctor told me that I probably should just relax, again, and sent me for further blood tests. These were a repeat of the hormone tests the GP sent me for.
He also got me an appointment for a scan and an HSG, although he said he didn't think there was anything wrong there. Oh dp was sent for sperm tests too - another massive wait to get an appointment for those.

After these had been done I made another appointment for which I had to wait another 3/4 months. This was when I got the results of the tests.
At that point although there was no clear definite reason why I hadn't conceived (although my fsh was raised) he said we should try IUI. Thankfully we didn't have to as I was unknowingly pregnant at that time.

It is all a very lengthy process, so to get the ball started now might not be a bad thing. It could be another 8 months (if your pct waiting times are like mine) until you have the results of the tests, and by that time you will have hopefully conceived anyway.

Be prepared for being brushed off and patronised though..

(((((hugs))))))))

Generally speaking, gynaes like to see women over the age of 35 if they have been ttc for six months without success.

I would go to the GP and see if he is willing for you both to have some initial tests done (this would be a blood test for you and a semen analysis for your husband. Subfertility is not the sole preserve of the woman so both of you should be tested in tandem. I would add as well that such tests are repeated at hospital too). I would at the same time ask for a referral. They may well tell you to "relax" and come back in six months time. Say no!!.

Has the nature of your periods changed in have they for instance become more heavy, painful and or irregular?. If any of these apply this should certainly be mentioned to the GP.

Know the above all sounds a bit heavy but I don't think you at all silly to involve any docs at this stage. I know all too well that you don't want to be a patient with stress but as it is currently you are being stressed anyway by this. I think you are actually being wise to consider seeking advice.

Good luck, let us know how you get on

You will need to be persistant in order to get answers.

Attila

thank you for your kind thoughts and very helpful advice. I'm horrified at the waiting times you had to endure, rubles, but it's really useful to know - I will make a GP appointment asap. I haven't had any changes in my periods since DS was born except that I used to get mid cycle bleeding and no longer do. But my cycle is regular and predictable, and by checking my cervix and CM I can predict really accurately when I'm due on. But I guess that doesn't mean I'm actually ovulating, and we certainly know nothing about DH's swimmers. Thanks for the reassurance that I'm not being a paranoid moo, and I'll fight against any advice to go away and relax!

Hi CaptainKarvol. I have just made an appointment to see my GP next week. I am on cycle 9 since starting TTC seriously. But what is prompting me is that my cycles have shifted from a regular as clockwork 27 day cycle to the last three which have been 25 days, 30 days and 24 days. I am going to ask for bloods for me and a semen analysis for DH. I am also going to ask for a referral. Thanks to everyone on MN, I am not going to 'go away for 6 months and relax' as my best friend has just been told (she's been TTC for 7 months and is over 35) to do.

I'm feeling positive about going to the GP at the moment. I hope I still feel positive after seeing her next week.

Good luck

Glastochick, what you said about your cycles made me go and check my online charting of mine, and I've gone from regular 27 days as well to a 30 day in Jan, then 26, 25, 25, 31. Do you check your fertile times at all? Mine sound a bit all over the place but they do all fit with a 13 day LP and just late (or early) ovulation. Hopefully nothing serious amiss for either of us.

I've also very, very honestly gone over all my records, and we started TTC in August last year. So we've done 11 cycles now (as they are a bit shorter than a calender month), but as I'm being honest with myself we only really, really tried on 7 of those, from Nov to now with a bit of a lapse over xmas due to a house full of relatives! So i should stop panicing, but I'm still going to make that appointment.

13 day LP sounds promising. I check CM and use OV sticks. Fertility Friend says I OV on CD17, so I've had a regular 10 day LP and now this is shortening. This month I'm trying temping to see if Fertility Friend is correct.

I'd worked myself up into a right old tizz before making the appointment, but now I've made it I feel so much better. I feel as though I'm making a step in the right direction.

I'm about to do this, go see my doctor. She has said to me in the past that I'm not 'that old' but at 38 and having been trying for my first for 8 cycles I am worried. I know I need to be forceful but as I rarely see the doctor (I've been more times since TTC than I have in the last 10 years combined) I feel weird about being pushy. I worry that making an appointment Just to see what I do next is wasting their time but I know loads of women do push for further tests.

I would like my OH to be checked out too because at the moment I am assuming it's my problem because of my age despite knowing that I am ovulating and that I am having sex at the right times.

I did ask her about my short luteal phase (sometimes less than 10 days) and she said 10 days should not be a problem. She also said it's better that I have short cycles than really long ones. Anyhow - she's always seemed helpful so I am hoping it will be beneficial for me to go.

right, I've made the appt. I got the nice female gp as well, so should start things rolling next weds. And I just started by period Which makes this one of just 2 months when I seem to have had an 11 day LP - anovulatory maybe? I thought LP was supposed to be constant. I can cope with 12 or 13 - after all, I usually spot a bit the day before I come on, and it's a bit arbitrary to say one day rather than another, but 11 days is definitely different to normal for me.

Best wishes to both of you, glastochick and beaniesteve, I hope all goes right for you.

Hi there CaptainKarvol + others. I just joined MN hoping to find some nice people like you. This thread has already been v helpful & encouraging.

We have been TTC for 10 cycles now (no kids or pregnancies), he's 37 I'm 35 soon. Never expected it to be smooth with us waiting so long but now getting a bit stressed (and that's sooo gonna help, right?).

Saw new GP tree months ago, she said to come back after 12 cycles for referral. And now I know what to expect so thank you Rubles for sharing. Dreading it a bit though. Husband and I haven't really acknowledged to each other that this may be a bit of a challenge, although that may sound weird. It's like once we do, it all becomes regimented and like a stressful project, no?

Decided to try and get some control & comfort today so got the digital ovulation thingy and joined here. Now I'll be quiet for a bit, sorry!

Welcome Mandy. Can't stay long as I'm at work, but just wanted to wish you all the best. I was 34 when I concieved my son, and my DH was 37, so take heart, it's not that old!

Thank you!