Looking for Hope After Recurrent Loss and a Second Trimester Miscarriage

[Rachaelredred]

Hi everyone,
I’m reaching out in the hope of connecting with other mums who’ve experienced a similar fertility journey and might be able to share their insights or advice.

Between 2018 and 2020, my partner and I had four first-trimester miscarriages. We pursued fertility investigations and were told the only issue was my low AMH. At the time, this was incredibly difficult to hear, but over time I was able to shift focus toward improving egg quality rather than worrying about quantity (my AFC was normal, for context).

In November 2021, we welcomed our beautiful son through natural conception.

We only began trying again recently, once our son turned three. It took some time to conceive again—after a chemical pregnancy in September, we fell pregnant in December 2024. We were expecting our little girl. Tragically, we lost her at 21 weeks due to hypoplastic left heart syndrome, and there may be chromosomal causes involved (we’re currently waiting on genetic testing results).

I’m absolutely heartbroken and, honestly, very afraid of what the future might hold. The only thing helping me cope right now is focusing on moving forward—I’ve started seed cycling again and plan to restart with my personal trainer to get my body feeling strong.

What’s keeping me up at night, though, is the fear that I might be a carrier of something that is affecting my babies’ health.

So I guess I’m here to ask:

• Has anyone gone through something similar and gone on to have a healthy baby?
• Have your genetic tests ever shown you’re a carrier of a condition that impacted your pregnancies?
• Any advice, insights, or even just some comforting words would mean so much.

Sending love to anyone who has experienced similar losses—you are not alone.
Thank you for reading.

Sending love and thoughts to you. I’m so sorry you lost your little girl. It truly is an awful experience to go through and I can imagine how much you’re grieving.

I don’t have answers to all of your questions but felt that I should reply to reach out and let you know you’re definitely not alone.

I fell pregnant last year with my second child and everything was going well until we reached the 20 week scan where we were told the devastating news that something was wrong with our baby’s heart. An appointment with the consultant confirmed hypoplastic left heart syndrome and we had to make the awful decision to terminate the pregnancy for medical reasons. I found myself delivering my son at 22 weeks last June and spending the following months in a haze of grief.

We had genetic testing which showed a chromosome problem with the baby. We then both had genetic testing to check if we were carriers and luckily we’re not. As the consultant said to us when we were originally given the diagnosis, HLHS is usually down to pure sh*t luck.

To spread some hope, it took a long time to even think about trying again (especially for my partner) but we are now currently pregnant again. Very early days as only 7 weeks. I’m terrified. But I’m trying to remind myself that this is a whole new pregnancy. We’ll be offered an extra heart scan for this baby at 16 weeks to hopefully provide some much needed reassurance.

I hope that sharing my story has helped a little

Hello
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter.
I have had two first trimester miscarriages and one second trimester loss. We lost our second son at 19 weeks. Slightly different scenario to you in that the placenta stopped working rather than there being a genetic issue.
However to reassure you, I fell pregnant again quickly afterwards and welcomed a daughter eleven months after he was born. My pregnancy with her was the hardest few months of my life, but she’s here, she’s healthy and I can breathe again.
Thinking of you and once again I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter.

Hi there, I’m so sorry for your losses. I can only imagine what you’ve gone through.
Would you mind if I asked how you know that the placenta stopped working in the loss of your precious son? - did this show up on some tests?
I ask as I lost my little girl, my first pregnancy, at the end of April this year. Genetic testing just came back normal this week and I’m meeting my doctor next week to discuss placental pathology and other results. I’m thinking of the types of questions I need to ask, and tests I should be getting. I am really keen to start trying again soon, I’ll we got pregnant really quickly on my baby girl, doubting if we can be so lucky again.
Your story gives me hope, thanks so much for sharing. Nothing will ever replace your losses, but I’m thrilled that you have your healthy baby daughter to cuddle x

I am so, so sorry for your loss.
I know the placenta stopped working because they said that when it was removed it was clear that it hadn’t been working for a while. However I don’t find out this until all the testing was back and we met with the consultant to talk through. In reality our son had died before I went into labour, we don’t know exactly when but his size was around 14 weeks so he either died then or his growth slowed down. I think it was the latter because I’m pretty sure I was feeling movements from about 17 weeks.
I was advised to take aspirin from 12 weeks in any future pregnancies and then had cervical length testing throughout the second trimester and two growth scans in the third. The cervical length testing was purely “just in case”. My main worry was that they would say I had an incompetent cervix, but this was not the case for me.
You may be lucky - we have always conceived easily, keeping hold of them has been a different matter though!
all the best to you - sending hope and light x

Im so sorry ladies for your incredible losses.

Im here to also offer support and to tell you as lonely as the journey after a loss is, your not alone. In my journey of expanding my large family it was a vary tough journey and every step along the way was a hard one. In my ttc journey i have had 8 miscariages between 8 to 12 weeks gestation, iv had 1 chemical pregnancy and In 2023 we had to have a tfmr at 4months gestation for chromosomal abnormalities. We were told that our baby most likely could have survived the turners syndrome as people are born with the abnormality and some never know they have it until ttc but unfortunely with this abnormality comes heart problems if severe eniugh and our babies heart wasn't dispursing proper blood flow which caused high drops which is fluid build up under the skin which was making him very sick which in turn would have started making me very sick. When we gave birth we thought we would never try again. We already had all the testing done to see if we carried any abnormalities and we both didnt it was just the luck of the embryo unfortunately. 3 months later we decided to do another embryo transfer and im glad we did bcos we have a beautiful 18month old little girl but I want to say that being pregnant with her was very hard and full of anxiety worse then having a pregnancy after my other losses. We did the nipt and did the nuchal translucency test and we had regular scans.

Just came across this thread to say that I think what youre going through is more common than we think as so few people talk about it. Its one of those topics that are best forgotten but there is so much value in sharing and helping others
Ive just had a TFMR due to anomalies found at the 20 week scan. We already have a 19 month old DD whom we conceived after nine cycles and she is as healthy as can be. Also did seed cycling, got fit via a keto diet, took all the supplements and kept stress free.
We fell pregnant with the baby we lost v quickly and I never did any of the things I had done before which I now blame myself for

I believe the NHS does offer some genetic counselling however we will be pursuing the private route and getting a fertility MOT. I won't rule out some genetic testing as that can't hurt doing. We have had the Cystic fibrosis test done and we're not carriers of that.

I hear HLHS is really random and nothing to do with genetics. Its natural to be worried but I think it was a case of bad luck.

You will be offered an early scan by the NHS at 6 weeks when you fall again, and an early anomaly scan too i think at 16 weeks. Personally Id do the NIPT and whatever genetic testing you can do as early as you can. I might even do an amnio. Our TFMR was at 22 weeks and id rather know much earlier if something were to go wrong

If you can read the it starts with an egg book, it helped me so much first time round

I am also worried that I haven't got much time left (Im 41) so that is another aspect weighing on my mind but I hope youre younger and have longer than me to try again

@Rachaelredred very similar to you. Lots of miscarriages: at 17, 12, 8 weeks. I lost count of the 6/7 week ones. DS1 arrived after three losses, then an MMC (wickedly cruel) and like you we lost a little boy at 27 weeks with hypoplastic left heart syndrome. We were very lucky, DD was born one early mc and 51 weeks later at 41.5 weeks.

The children are 30 and 27 now. One never forgets but the pain does stop.