TTC number 2 and struggling

[am316]

Hi everyone,

Sorry for a bit of a long post, just needing to vent really. We're TTC our second. We have one living son who is 2, and a daughter we sadly lost before him at 22 weeks. 10 months of TTC now, tracking BBT and for a few months did the clear blue advanced fertility monitor before the sticks got way too expensive to keep that up! My cycles are regular-ish and have been 25-32 days since coming off the pill last summer. Luteal phase is on the short side at 10 days and I consistently spot for 4-5 days before AF starts. Due to be getting bloods done this month to check if there's a progesterone problem.

Every single month I get my hopes up that it's implantation bleeding, and start testing ridiculously early from like 8dpo. Even when BBT starts to fall at 10dpo I convince myself it could be an implantation dip. The disappointment gets more and more crushing each month that goes by.

I know how incredibly lucky I am to have DS, but I'm finding the journey so hard right now. He and our angel baby came relatively quickly and I'm paranoid something has changed. I don't understand why it's taking so long and I know we're definitely hitting the fertile window plenty each month. Trying to relax, enjoy it, plan fun activities and not let it take over our lives. I guess I'm just looking for some solidarity and hope stories from anyone that might be in the same boat!

Hi, I’m not quite going through something as tough as your situation but similar. TTC no 2 and struggling. We had two losses at 7 and 10 weeks before successfully going on to have my son who’s coming up to 2. It was a rough ride mentally and I only felt ready to start trying in October and so far I’ve had a chemical in Feb.

Since the chemical I’ve had really long cycles with random bleeding mid-cycle so something clearly isn’t right but GP isn’t interested as we haven’t been trying for 12 months. I also spot for days before my period arrives. Regardless of TTC I would just like to know what’s going on with the bleeding which is frustrating.

TTC sex quickly looses its appeal and it’s so hard to be relaxed isn’t it!

Thank you for sharing ❤️ absolutely it starts to feel like such a chore...I totally hear you about just wanting to understand what is going on with your body. It's so frustrating when you know something is not quite right but you're not taken seriously

Where are you in your cycle at the moment?

10dpo currently and resigning myself to being out again! How about you?

Hi @am316I’m in a similar boat in that I’ve been TTC #2 since sept with no luck. I’ve also struggled with short luteal phase. Slightly different to you in that I’m still breastfeeding my 2yo which could be something to do with it although I’ve no idea really. I have similar worries to you about something being wrong and am getting so demoralised every month it doesn’t happen

@G0ldfinch thanks for sharing your similar situation! Yeh I wondered about breastfeeding, I ended up stopping when he was 21 months because I thought it might be affecting our chances. In hindsight I don't think it was at all and that makes me kind of sad that I stopped before I really wanted to. Do you know if you had short luteal phase before your son? I've wondered if it was the pill that changed my cycle

Hey!
I am also TTC for number 2 it’s been 2 months and I am already panicking as to why I am not getting pregnant. It’s just so hard specially with my first one it happened instantly. Hoping for some baby dust for us all soon xx

@Dreamymama yeh I find it hard comparing to how easy it was to conceive first time around. Baby dust to us all! How old is your first?

5dpo- finally ovulated on day 34! I’m having to track my BBT as the unknown was also stressing me out.
Even ovulating feels like a win at the moment.

Have you tested at all?

@am316 it’s interesting that you think breastfeeding wasn’t affecting things, how long have you been trying since weaning? I’m sorry you felt you stopped before you wanted to, I can identify with that as although my DD still has one feed a day we have cut down a lot and I was very resistant to that at first. Eventually we did work on it as there were other reasons to do it (multiple wakes at night etc) although I felt quite conflicted about it for a while.

I don’t know about short luteal phase before my first, she came on the first month trying so I didn’t have to get into the cycle tracking stuff! Absolutely knee deep in it this time though 😂 I was also on the pill before coming off to conceive although before my first I had a coil so maybe there is a difference between how cycles regulate after each method? I’m sure I’ve read studies saying that fertility returns within 3 months for each method (apart from maybe injections?) for almost everyone though.

@IwishyoutoknowI’m sorry to hear about your losses and sorry to hear your GP is being quite rigid about the 12 months. I hope you and your OH managed to make the most of the eventual ovulation!

@Dreamymama sorry to hear you are struggling too. Two months is not long though (although none of us here have been trying super long it seems!) and anything could happen in the next few cycles

OP take a breath. Having a two year old and then miscarrying is tough.

Your stress and tension will in no way be helping the situation.

And although you don’t want to hear it 10 months isn’t that long.

Secondary infertility sucks and for me it took years but happened when I stopped stressing about things and didn’t get caught in that month to month extreme hope and then extreme disappointment (and I wasn’t nearly that bad).

Low dose aspirin helped me - my consultant suggested it and psychologically it helped feeling I was taking something to help. Speak to your GP but it can help with sticky blood as you get older too.

Definitely I feel the same way! My oldest is turning 5 in July x I was on the pill for nearly 4 years

Hey @am316, so sorry to hear about your loss.
Just wanted to say that you’re not alone. DD was conceived first go no problems and I’m now onto cycle 7 for #2 and really starting to panic. Went to see the GP and they did refer me to get some tests done (c section and formal issues) so waiting for that now. Not been 12 months but from the amount I was crying I think she took pity on me!
Give yourself a big hug, it’s not easy to keep going through this month on month. The hope and lows every couple of weeks is a real rollercoaster. Especially with another little one, all this ‘just relax’ mantra makes me want to scream because it’s just not possible! Sending baby dust your way ✨❤️

@Iwishyoutoknow I tested yesterday 12dpo and bfn. AF has started today. On the plus side it's been a 12 day luteal phase which is a slight improvement, I'm putting it down to taking pregnacare this month as it's the only thing I've done differently.

@G0ldfinchwe've been trying 5 months since weaning. Before we had also only been doing one feed a day, and my cycle didn't change after stopping that's why I think it wasn't really a factor after all. I'm the same about the short luteal phase! Our other pregnancies came so quickly I wasn't tracking before but obsessed with it now!

@Calmdownpeople thank you I know perspective is key, I don't think it's completely taking over life at all, but it's inevitable having a few low days when you get those bfn's and AF comes. Our loss was before our son, and there were two chemicals in-between. So with bfp's happening quickly in the past it's what makes me think maybe there's something wrong that it's been 10 months without a sniff of even a faint bfp.

@Miffy1994 thanks for sharing and being so understanding, absolutely "just relax" is the worst advice ever 😂 I'm glad the GP is taking you seriously and you're getting some tests done. Baby dust to you too 😊

Ahh ok that makes sense @am316. A 12 day luteal phase is really nice though, that’s a really good sign. I hope that continues for you!

Similarish for me, while technically it’s only been 3 months it took 13 months for my periods to return and I was ready to start trying very early, like 4/5 months pp so feel like I’ve been waiting ages already. Feel super lucky to have DS as it took us 3 years and 4 losses along the way but really ready for number 2 now. Currently 2dpo

Hey, I had a short luteal phase and would spot from 7dpo. I read up on agnus castus vitamins and heard they can help improve a luteal phase. Anyway first month of using them I fell pregnant with my 2nd son (had tried for 10 months before hand) worth reading up on them and other vitamins that can help your luteal phase. Could have just been a coincidence but worth a try xx

@am316sorry about the BFN but great news about the 12 day luteal phase- that’s very normal which is encouraging.

I’m 10dpo today and BFN so I’ve pretty much considered myself out for this cycle. I tend to start spotting 11dpo before AF so we’ll see. Ovulating on day 35 means I’ve got so long to wait for another shot. It feels quite overwhelming.

Anyone else finding lots of second baby announcements happening at the moment? I suppose it makes sense people start trying again at a similar time but just had the 3rd two under two announcement from my baby group!

@MrsF111yes 100% I feel like that's all I see these days! I've just had another stark BFN for this month sigh. I did do day 21 bloods though so maybe results of that will help see if there's a low progesterone issue. How's everyone else getting on?

@am316 are you getting that through the gp? Not sure when I should ask to go for tests, AF just arrived for cycle 4 which I know isn’t long but I’m 36 and it feels like forever!

@MrsF111yes the GP ordered the blood tests and just went to get them done at the local hospital. They want one on cd2, 3 or4, then another 7 days before AF which for a typical cycle is around day 21. Looking at the results on my NHS app it looks like progesterone is fine, but I worry that for me 7 days pre-AF is like 2dpo so of course progesterone will look high if that makes sense. I think it's dropping too quickly at the end of the luteal phase so can't sustain implantation. Got an appointment on Friday with the GP to talk over the results so really hoping they will take me seriously!

Hey ladies, also still here and still struggling on. Yes to the silly number of pregnancy announcements, I’m really at the end of my tether with them right now.
Have had day 3 and day 21 bloods back and nothing supposedly abnormal. Sat waiting for an ultrasound to see if there’s anything wrong given my c section with DD.
Hope they take your concerns seriously! I’ve struggled for anyone to take my progesterone concerns- I had a day 21 test a few years ago and it was much higher than the one I’ve just had but GP isn’t going to do anything about it.
Fingers crossed you all start getting some answers!