Another negative cycle, feeling crushed

[lara1994]

This was our 4th cycle and definitely the hardest so far. I know that 4 cycles is not long and it can take 6-12 months, but I had convinced myself this MY cycle! Started brown spotting today which I always get three days before AF + cramping, so I know I’m out.
anyone who’s been doing this longer, how do you cope each month??? I got into work this morning and sat and cried, I just don’t think I can do this month after month

I’m almost 2 years into my TTC journey involving miscarriages, but I had around 7 months last year without a hint of a positive test & it drove me round the bend.
I know that you know 4 months isn’t long at all, but I know how crushing it is when you want it so badly.
I would let myself feel sad for the day or so my period was starting, but would make sure I had lots of nice plans in the coming months to get me through it.
It really isn’t long so hopefully it will be your time before long

I’m at 2 years too and I’m more relaxed now that I was in the first year- I’m more just with the mindset that it happens when it happens
we are doing everything as we should so I’m just trying to be patient.
also just read Spirit Babies which helps to look at things in a different way

You need to adjust your expectations, otherwise you will go insane. Stop expecting to get pregnant every cycle. Expect to get your period. You will be pregnant when you are pregnant and you can’t control it. All you can do is try. Keep your mind busy, focus on a project or a podcast, something like that. You still have a whole life to live while you try to get pregnant. Stop symptom spotting and taking pregnancy tests before your period. Realise what is in your control and what is not.

Agree with others here. I'm nearly two years in, one MMC and two chemicals. They were a surprise (honeymoon pregnancy), a wait of five months then a chemical and then a wait if three before another chemical. Now on cycle 7 trying after that. I agree with Vplop about expecting a period each month rather than a pregnancy. That mindset is helpful. Have no expectations and be happily surprised when it does happen x

I'm at cycle 5 TTC. Suffered a chemical pregnancy last month and a MMC back in 2018. I do have two DC who I'm so grateful for, but we've always dreamed of 3DC. All of my pregnancies were conceived first or second month trying so it's unusual for me for it to take this long, even though I know 5 months is well within the range of normal.

AF hasn't arrived yet but I'm still pretty sure I'm out this month. Test at 9DPO today was stark white negative and I'm getting all the signs that AF is imminent.

I’m just over a year in and feel the same. I let myself be sad for a couple of days, then try to turn my focus to both optimising my chances for the next cycle (like eating well, sleep, planning exercise, supplements etc) alongside finding another focus (like a DIY project), which seems to help me get through. It’s crushing when it doesn’t happen though xx

I feel the same, we’ve only been trying a few cycles but everyone around me seems to be pregnant and I feel so awkward. I’m so happy for them but I wish it was me too. We haven’t had any tests as it hasn’t been that long but I have this deep worry that there’s a problem 😔

I adopted the “it is what it is, it will happen when it happens” mindset! It’s out of your control, try and fill your time with things you enjoy xx

This is all such good advice!

I think the worst bit is the few days up to your period when all symptoms start to feel like you could be pregnant.

My strategy for this coming month is to distract myself around the time I am due with DIY projects/outings.

I won’t arrange social things so I don’t have to put a brave face on if AF does arrive. No brave face required doing diy