Surprise third pregnancy

[Sunshine6195102]

I am 8 weeks pregnant with a surprise third pregnancy. We have a 5 year old and 3 year old. My husband is very practical and doesn’t want us to keep it as he feels we have no time and it would be to the detriment of our other two children, but I am sad and more emotional as I feel we’d find a way. We can afford it financially and have the space but perhaps he is right. Does anyone have any thoughts or advice? Thanks

Anyone? Thanks

It’s totally your decision. Your husband can give his opinion but the decision is yours and yours alone.

I would keep the baby. Termination would destroy me. But that’s how I feel. I have 4 children, each one wanted and loved.

If you ended the pregnancy, would you be able to find a way forward?

I had a surprise pregnancy with having two children already (8and 6)
We were both very very adamant on having only two. Booked termination, but neither of us old go through it, ended up in a miscarriage anyway.
But then I'd already opened up my heart to a third and now here I am 11 weeks pregnant. Hubby semi on board. We have moments of wtaf are we doing but know that we will love the hell out of it in the end.
This is also theam that wanted no more children when we first got together (has some from a previous marriage)
The choice at the end of the day is primarily yours, but I think a deep conversation to make sure no resentment occurs needs to happen first.

As someone with a 9 and 7 year old now currently struggling to conceive a third (over a year of trying) I wish we had tried sooner. I thought I always wanted two - I was dead set on it. Normal cars, one child per adult ratio etc…and then about 2 years ago thought I’d accidentally fell pregnant and didn’t feel anxious about! Wasn’t frantic or sad. Turned out I wasn’t pregnant but made me realize I’m not done having babies! Who cares about cars and the kids would be incredible older siblings to a baby. I want all the kids visiting with their family’s when they’re older and I want a full dinner table. I think when I’m older (33 atm) I’ll definitely regret not trying. I’d take this blessing if I were you, but only you can choose. Lots of love x

‘I’m sad and emotional as feel we’d find a way’

I think you have your answer there OP. I think with the age gap a baby would be completely manageable! Best of luck to you x

Thanks all for your kind replies. My husband has reiterated though that he doesn’t want a third baby and we will split up if I keep it so I don’t feel I have a choice but to terminate which is awful but I just don’t think I’d manage 3 children on my own.

I’ve been in a similar situation and listened to my husband and I’ve never recovered from it. He will come around. And saying that to you is utterly selfish.

Thank you @Mrs777and I’m sorry you have been through that. I am scared I will be on my own, and scared he will resent the baby. And also scared he is right and I would be being selfish to my other two children. I feel like this is an impossible situation.

Either way, I think it could be useful for you to both have a session with a counsellor or similar. There seems to be some financial concerns and there will definitely be some emotion baggage here that will likely last far beyond whichever decision is made. One of you is going to end up hurt or feel resentment so it might be really useful for you to get some expert help quickly before any decisions are made.

Thank you. I asked my husband to do some counselling with me on the subject but he is refusing. We don’t have any financial issues so that wouldn’t be a problem. But feels he is 47 and coming out of the baby phase and he doesn’t want to do down that road again as he doesn’t have enough time. I feel sad and let down but I am not sure if I am being unreasonable.

He might not come round. She can keep the baby if she wants but her husband might be 100% certain that keeping the baby = divorce and she needs to make the decision that’s right for her and not be surprised if he stays to his word and divorces her

@Sunshine6195102 how old are you? Do you think you will be able to manage if your husband walks out?
Even if he doesnt, chances are that most of the workload and household duties will fall on you with an additional child- will you be prepared for that?
Its good that you can afford another though and you have enough room, that's a plus- I understand that you live in a 3bed atm?

He may or may not divorce. But he might resent you if things do get difficult at home. If you are prepared to keep your baby no matter what consequence, then it's up to you

I think it’s awful to say he will leave if you don’t terminate.

He is just as much a part of the creation of the baby as you are. He could have taken precautions to not be in the situation.

In honesty I would make your decision about the pregnancy without considering the marriage. I would consider my marriage over if my ‘D’H said he would leave unless I aborted his child.

Also what is he expecting by leaving?! He will still have three children.

This is only my opinion from my experience. This is a forum after all….