Coping with TTC journey

[Anony1992]

Hi I’m just looking for some advice on how to cope with TTC journey. I’m 33 and a few months into TTC. I had my copper coil out in September and realised I wasn’t ovulating, my periods were every 50-60 days but all hormone tests came back normal. I have bipolar and done a little research and realised my medication could impact my menstrual cycles so my GP switched my meds. I’ve ovulated 3 times since December, which I track through NC app and my bbt. Since the change of my meds my cycles have returned back to every 36 days and seem to be ovulating pretty consistently now although I’m not using OPKs as I feel like this adds even more stress to an already stressful situation. I don’t mean any disrespect by this post as I know people have been on their ttc journey for months and sometimes years, I’m genuinely just looking for advice on how to cope with it. I’m 11dpo and tested BFN today with an early response test. I had a dip in bbt 6dpo and convinced myself this was an implantation dip. I feel like I’m driving myself mad. I think af is going to land any day now, I feel so deeply for people who’ve been on this journey for a lone time as it’s so overwhelming and it’s all I seen to think about. Any advice is so much appreciated x

Hi there,

I am so sorry you’re struggling with your TTC experience. Your experience is your experience, it’s not something to be compared with others because regardless of how little time you’ve been TTC in comparison to others it’s all relative. I have been unofficially TTC for 7 years and probably officially only a few months. I’ve been off any form of contraception for 7 years but wouldn’t say we were actively trying. I still would, at times, however convince myself and get a little excited only to test and get a BFN and be disappointed. It is really tough to constantly feel disappointed.

I don’t really have any advice other than to say to try and stop putting all your energy into it. It is going to happen when it happens, thinking about it won’t speed things up or slow things down. I recently had a scan that convinced me I was pregnant and I was off work sick at the time and it drove me insane as the tests were coming back inconclusive, but as soon as I got over my flu and went back to work I found I wasn’t driven to madness anymore as my mind was distracted by work. I think staying busy and keeping yourself distracted is the best thing. See friend, watch movies, go to work if you are in employment, do household tasks, keep engaged with your hobbies. All of these things that take your mind off it are the way to cope. There are endless posts on here about coping with the 2 week wait from ovulation to testing time so everyone is in the same boat. The best thing is to try and relax and just let it happen. If you’re fortunate enough to have access to private healthcare then maybe seek some testing too, as I was lucky enough to do that to check things were in working order (which they weren’t for me unfortunately) but it helped explain why things weren’t moving along. Patience is key with this journey, which is a good test because patience is necessary when you are a parent!

Thankyou so much for responding. So sorry to hear you’ve been trying for so long and I completely understand the driving yourself mad. I’m currently doing my PhD so life’s pretty busy and I do find when I’m researching all day I feel better but it does keep me awake at night as it just seems to be on repeat in my mind. I really do appreciate the advice, I was debating whether to totally come off my fertility apps to try and have some time away from the whole situation but then I feel like I’m giving myself even less of a chance by doing so. I did get some tests done at my GP which all came back normal, I also had a scan which confirmed my ovaries seemed to be in good working order. The GP won’t test my partners sperm count yet or do any further tests until we’ve been actively trying for a whole year. We’re going to wait a few more months then go private. Sorry to hear the testing you had done wasn’t great news but I’m keeping everything crossed for you that you’ll some day have that second line ❤️

I started ttc in June last year, had the copper coil taken out the day before my period started so I started tracking ovulation that month. I’d never been on any contraception before and had 3 children already all who were conceived the same month of trying. I was naive in thinking it would be the same situation again. From that very first month I discovered how awful and unreliable pregnancy tests are these days- but at first I kept on believing I was having chemical pregnancies one after the other. Basically in total I tried about 20 different brands of pregnancy tests from just Amazon alone and then a ton out of the shops and at some point every brand would give the odd “faint positive” which believing then that it’s impossible to get a faint pink line if you aren’t pregnant, I really did believe I was pregnant and it was only until having bloods that I confirmed I wasn’t. But for months this messed with my head. Every miserable day consisted of thinking non stop about being pregnant, pregnancy tests and believing I had become infertile. I mean it literally drove me mad and had taken over my life it was all I thought about. I was out of control with testing once the 6 dpo time came around I would test constantly when I wasn’t working and started convincing myself it’s negative because my urine was too diluted. The one thing I would strongly advise for your own sanity is that getting a faint positive on any pregnancy test doesn’t mean that you are definitely pregnant. It is possible and does happen that tests will give these faint lines even some having pink/ blue in them. Do not believe the people who will be adamant that it’s impossible to get a faint line if you aren’t pregnant because they do not have a clue what they are talking
about. Just try as much as possible to take a placid approach and if you do start getting faint lines then confirm and confirm and don’t get excited or start believing you’ve had chemicals until you can
confirm either way with an actual blood sample. Don’t start letting your brain convince you it’ll never happen, despite how hard it is. All I can really say is just see this as a journey, it may be long and bumpy but really try not to compare your journey to other peoples. Don’t give up hope and don’t let ttc take over your life because it really will consume you and all your happiness. It took me 6 months in the end x

I am 32 btw, was 31 when I started trying last year x

Im really sorry you are having a stressful experience and sending lots of positive vibes 😘

I worked myself up so much once month I actually had (or thought I had!) every symptom under the sun and my cycle ended up being 42 days. After that I thought I’ve wasted all those days worrying for nothing. I am sure my stress may come again but at the moment I’m enjoying feeling more laid back about the whole thing and letting things be.

I suppose the point I’m trying to make is it everyones journeys can definitely be ones of ups and downs - don't be too hard on yourself in the down times, they won’t last forever xxxx

This is my first time posting on mumsnet so I apologise if my replies are all over the place@K112 that sounds exactly how I am! To an actual T. I also have 3 children and also one angel baby who was born sleeping but I just presumed it would happen right away as I’ve never had past issues with ttc but I have noticed a huge shift in my hormones the last 2 years. I can’t even explain how many tests I’ve done where I’ve convinced myself they’re faint positives when infact they’ve all been negative. I’m sorry you’ve experienced the same complications and troublesome mind set on your TTC journey but I’m absolutely over the moon for you that after 6 months you were successful. Thanks again for the recommendations and advice, I feel much less alienated in my experience. Genuinely thought I was going mad! X

@ThisZippyViewer thankyou for sharing your experience and as I say it’s really reassuring that I am not alone in the situation. Of corse I don’t want anyone to have difficulties and upsetting experiences on their ttc journey but I think we can definitely all take comfort for one another’s experiences and even reading some replies today has helped me feel much more at ease with my situation. Wishing you the very best with your journey and here’s hoping we get those two lines soon! 😚