Any advice for a complete novice trying to conceive?…

[StevieQueen]

..and don’t mean the sex part, I’m pretty clued up in that area 😂
I’ve been a lurker here for many years but I haven’t actually been able to contribute to this forum; however life has recently thrown some curveballs and something quite tragic happened which has made me and my partner realise it’s now or never if we want children.
I’m about to turn 39, have been with my partner for 3 years and neither of us have kids but it’s always been there hanging in the air that at some point we do both want our own children.
I have been on the implant for around 15 years (different ones obviously, before that it was the depo) and I had it removed approx 12 days ago.
I’m hoping to just find some starting points, what I should be doing, what I shouldn’t be doing and any tips or advice that can help us in our trying to conceive journey.
By novice I mean, I know that sperm meets an egg and that’s how a baby is made, I know that you need to have sex when you ovulate but in terms of the period tracking, the cycle lengths, ovulation tests, body temperature, pre natal vitamins, etc I have absolutely no idea where to start.
Ive been using the Flo app to track my periods and it says that my cycles are abnormal (32,44,48,32,33,22,35)

I know my age is something that we will be working against so just want to have the best opportunity at conceiving naturally as for all I know I might not even be fertile as it’s never happened due to me always being on contraception!
I have tried doing some swotting up and I’m aware of a lot of things but I just don’t know where to start or how to piece it all together so here I am pleading to all you experts out there to help ❤️
When you first started trying to conceive what were the biggest and most important things that you did or didn’t do that started your journey to being a mummy?

Hi! I think the first thing you should do is track ovulation to see if you are ovulating.

Download an app like Premom and start testing for the leuteinizing hormone day 7 of your cycle until you find your “peak” LH hormone levels that is responsible for ovulation. After you find your “peak” your ovaries will release the egg within 12-24 hours of that.

Just make sure you have sex in your fertile window (a couple of days before ovulation) and the day of ovulation.

If you can afford it, I would go and have some private tests done anyway just to get the ball rolling and DTD every other day anyway!

good luck!

Regular sex, don’t use lube.

I would normally say just chill out and take it easy at first, but at 39 you don't have a month to waste.
I would track BBT as your cycles are irregular. Have sex every other day without fail from cycle day 10 until you are certain you've ovulated based on BBT (usually 3 higher temps). Ovulation tests (OPKs) will indicate ovulation is probable, but BBT should give you certainty. Also , with unpredictable cycles you could get sick of OPKs very quickly!
I recommend Fertility Friend, free version of app. It's the easiest to interpret and seems most popular among posters here so you'll get help more easily if you need help interpreting it.
Additionally, BBT can tell you quite a lot about your fertility, which is useful if you do have any issues.
As time may be short, I would also eat healthy (you and your partner) abstain from alcohol, and if necessary lose weight in a healthy way (no crash diets).

I just turned 40 and TTC baby no.2. Main thing is try to stay relaxed, look after yourself and make your life as easy as possible between you and your partner.

We had our miracle son after 16 years of trying. 2 failed IVF rounds and lots of MC & MMC's but after my mum passed away suddenly my focus on having a child was the only thing I cared about and it finally happened.

I used Flo app to track cycle and DTD everyday for about 3 days before predicted ovulation, rested my bum on a pillow for about 30 mins and just relaxed and went to bed.

Good luck

Lu x

Good luck on your TTC journey.

I had my first at 37 and now over 38 weeks pregnant at age 42, both conceived naturally. With baby #2 I had very irregular and long cycles.

My best advice, certainly at the beginning, is try not to obsess and become all consumed by it (it's easier said than done honestly). Spend 2 or 3 months just getting any hormones from the implant out of your system, listening to your body, learning the signs of ovulation etc. Remember the apps are a guide only and the only way to know when you ovulate is to physically track it.

You don't need to have sex every day - regular throughout the month is good then every other day during your most fertile week. Don't make it all about TTC though, the pressure can easily become too much.

Remember it is perfectly normal for a healthy couple with no known fertility issues to take 12 months+ to conceive. The odds are about 20% each month and they drop to 5% when you turn 40 - there are so many other factors outside of age though and I'm walking proof that it can and does happen.

Good luck.