TTC at 40, late period, bfn

[pennykinsmurphy]

A little history first. Had ds1 at 36 and ds2 at nearly 39. We didn't really have to try for either and everything except birth ran smoothly. I even got the exact timing I wanted with ds2. Their birthdays are nearly 6 months apart, ds1's is 13 days before dp's and ds2's is 14 days before mine. All nice and neat.

We've been TTC our third for 6 months now with no success. Before this my cycle was pretty much bang on 28 days every time but since coming off the pill last year AF has always come early and averages to about 26 days.

This month was different. I was expecting AF on the first but nothing so I tested on the fourth, bfn. Tested again on the sixth, bfn. Again on the ninth (yesterday), bfn. I was all set to call the gp today but then AF arrived. An unprecedented 35 day cycle. I guess that means I ovulated a lot later than we thought? I only tested for ovulation in December and January to check it was happening when I expected and it was so just kept an eye cm since and we thought we'd timed things right.

I'm pretty heartbroken. This time last week I was sure we'd cracked it, we both were. Feels like my body is against me.

Anyway, we're taking a month off now because we don't want a December baby then back to it in April.

Has anyone out there had a similar experience?

Most people of your age with proven fertility will be able to conceive again, even if it takes a bit longer, so please don't regard this as doomsaying. Only advice.

I think I was unlucky. I also had a DS1 and DS2 at 36 and 38. Planned to start TTC again at 40 but delayed to 41 by Covid. Got pregnant first month with DS1 and second month with DS2, and have a family history of late menopause, so assumed it would happen eventually.

Tried for DC3 for three years with nothing to show for it but chemical pregnancies, weird cycles and one late first-trimester miscarriage. By this point I was 45 and we decided we were too old and the age gap was too big. BUT when doing a D&C and then a follow-up it was noted that I had quite severe endometriosis, adenomyosis, one blocked tube, and a deep fluid-filled c-section niche! None of this was true before DC2. The doctor doing the procedure said she thought it was amazing that I got pregnant at all.

I regret not having gone for medical help more quickly, before my eggs were completely old and useless. I think if I'd been more aggressive about it and had the tube unblocked, c-section niche repaired, etc, that I might well have got pregnant naturally at 41/42. So if it doesn't happen soon I would recommend have a full set of check-ups even if, like us, you aren't able or willing to do IVF.