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Conception

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Getting pregnant in perimenopause

3 replies

Kreatela · 04/03/2025 09:06

Sorry it’s a long one and probably related to few different topics, but here it comes.
I’ve been in a long term relationship for 14 years. We haven’t managed to have children as there was too much focus on getting more settled, comfortable financially, house renovated first, etc. But so many other things have happened that I like ‘I can’t get pregnant now, we’re too stressed, family issues (on both sides), etc. And I was always waiting for him to be ready. At the beginning we talked about kids, we both wanted that. For me who used to be a nanny, there would be no question about it. But years passed by, difficult conversations were being avoided and now I’m in a tricky situation. I’m 43, most likely in perimenopause, and, what now is getting clearer, in a relationship with a narcissist. It’s not healthy, and I’m ready to walk away. Unfortunately, I haven’t done the right thing and froze my eggs in the past, when I knew things were not right. Always waiting for him to be ready for that life changing decision. We have so much in common, we’re good when we’re good, yet it really feels the love is just one sided and he’s more concerned about him and not caring about my needs and concerns. I’m just a housemate and free labour. For last couple of months I was trying to bring this up, that I’m worried it’s never gonna happen for me, yet I was shut down. Every pregnancy announcement is heartbreaking, even when I’m happy for them. But feels like he’s laughing at me in the background when I’m down about it.
So my question is - have any of you got pregnant during perimenopause, or have you started your pregnancy journey single and in your 40s?

OP posts:
2025babyfever · 06/03/2025 14:35

I’m 40 and ttc too but have to say do not stay with him- can you leave him and get a sperm donor?

sel2223 · 06/03/2025 20:52

I'm not single but I had my first (and presumed only) at 37 and now 37 weeks pregnant aged 42.

This was a very unexpected pregnancy as I definitely showed signs of being in peri and had been having unprotected sex for 4 years with no success so had basically written myself off.

After 40, my cycles went haywire - very long and irregular with plenty of late and missed periods to the point I just stopped testing. With this pregnancy, I ovulated late and didn't even test until cd56 ..... I only tested because I was on holiday, completely went off alcohol and threw up at breakfast! I nearly passed out when I got that BFP!

I've had lots of extra scans and the NIPT but all is looking really good and my little girl will be here in a couple of weeks.

Good luck to you on this journey, whatever decisions you choose.

Kreatela · 08/03/2025 22:17

I’m so happy to hear your story. No matter what happens, I’m glad that there are some happy endings and peri doesn’t mean it’s definitely the end. And just simply chuffed for you. I just have to crack on with it. I’ve been testing my ovulations for last couple of years anyway and it’s all been regular, until literally last month when it was not happening when it should and literally only after 7th day of testing it was showing high ovulation for 3 days. So on the top of everything happening in general with my partner, it did add up to the extra stress and worry. But I’ve got my first call with the my new doctor on Monday ( only took them 3 weeks) so will take it from there. Will also call a private clinic and see if I can get all tests done as well. and will just take it from there. I’m ready to crack on on my own, wish I had more time and options, but I don’t.
anyway, thanks for injecting a little positivity here. I’m not saying I’ve got too much hope, but it’s not fully lost. And good luck with the delivery and your new life as mummy of two 😍😍

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