Trying for a baby

[francescajacks]

I really want a baby now, but my partner doesn't. I am trying to understand him, but it's so hard when I wake up everything morning hoping he will change is mind. When I've spoke to him how long he wants to wait it keeps on getting longer and longer. So now I know I'm pushing him further away. Which I really don't want to so I don't bring it up. But then also I'm really struggling with not being able to have a baby right now or at least for 5 years. We have the money to, we have the house. It's not like we don't have enough to raise a baby. We hardly go out either so it's not like we will be doing much different. I know it changes your life, but I don't want to pressure him, but I also don't want to wiat so long. As I know this is damaging my mental health!

How old are you @francescajacks ?

25 and partner is 29

And how long have you been together?

7 years

What's wrong with waiting 5 years? Why wouldn't you grow your careers and pensions and enjoy doing stuff together/with friends without the responsibility of children?

However if he's being vague about what he thinks needs to happen first/it keeps moving further away then he's telling you that he doesn't want it.

It's ok for you to want different things. If you can't compromise then one of you has to walk away.

He's either future-faking and doesn't actually want kids at all, genuinely wants to wait, or isn't sure.
If he genuinely wants to wait you need to negotiate, if you decide it's too long for you you can leave him.
If he isn't sure whether he wants children at all you have to talk endlessly until your path is clear.
If he's future-faking leave ASAP.
You have tons of time, but you need to understand what's going on with him.

@francescajacks If he’s not ready now at almost 30 and a relationship of 7 years he might never be ready. Have a talk with him and figure out what’s holding him back and don’t take “I’m just not ready right now” for an answer. Maybe he sees flaws in you relationship or generally just doesn’t really want kids.