Husband rubbish at TTC

[Orangelover]

Slightly lighthearted (I think) but does anyone else's husband struggle with increased need to have sex during the fertile window?

DH has always had a lower sex drive than the average man (I assume) and we're definitely not every day people usually. More once/twice a week. I like to try and give it our best shot during ovulation week but I feel like I'm constantly begging DH for sex. He doesn't seem to understand it doesn't happen unless we're doing it plenty and he's less than enthusiastic by the time we actually get to ovulation day.

He's been the one desperate to TTC, one reason and another it's taken us a bit longer to get to the point where we're ready due to various life circumstances but now we're finally going for it and it's genuinely like he thought it would be one shag and done. I'm trying to keep it vaguely romantic, I personally am quite enjoying the process as I get really in the mood around ovulation but I can see every time I initiate he's like "oh god again..".

I feel like every other man I know would be thrilled at the concept of sex every day!

Is anyone else's partner like this?

I get where you are coming from. Maybe ease off on the "pressure" to perform during ovulation. He's not a trained seal. Let it happen naturally.... I know it's hard when you want something....

It can be a lot of pressure on men to 'perform' on demand, even if they'd usually want sex regularly. I think it's better to take a relaxed approach, not to tell them when predicted ovulation is, just try to have sex 2 or 3 times in the week preceding ovulation. But if you only manage once that can be all it takes (I conceived in my mid 40s and only had sex once that whole month!)

I agree don't let him know when it's ovulation. Have sex 3 times a week and you will be fine.

When ttc my 11mo i told my oh exactly when I was ovulating and he couldn't finish 😱 i was sooooo annoyed and we argued while he was at work. Looking back i feel SOOOOOO BAD! but he did come home from work and we gave it another shot. Thankfully we did because that was the cycle i conceived my little girl 😂😂😂😂

Now we're ttc again and hes asked me not to tell him when I'm due to O as it was alot of pressure on him.

Tbf we was trying 2+ years and it was the 1st month i actually told him but he's asked me never to make him preform like a chimp again 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I can sypmpathise, we are on round 6 and hes already asking if we can have a break! We only have it once or twice a week usually over a weekend so sometimes it feels too 'forced' around ovulation. agree with others don't tell him when the fertile window is as long as you do lol x

How often are you doing it? Because if it's difficult, every 3 days for a 14 day window should be okay and that's about twice a week so then only four times a month for him. Every 2-3 days is recommended.
Edited to also say that I really hate the idea of not telling your partner it's the ovulation window because that puts so much pressure on you to be on top of everything. Women don't get a break from the planning and I think partners should be involved as well. If they struggle, communication and therapy will probably help.
I know that's easier said than done though as sometimes I imagine it must be easier to just not tell them and get on with it.

It’s really tough, I empathise. I found by telling DP when ovulation was helped - as he knew that it was important to do it on certain days, and then knew he’d get a nice break during the TWW!
Also, he did start googling things himself, so knew that timing was important so was more on board with it all then

I honestly really haven't gone on about ovulation too much I don't think. But have made special efforts to suggest it's a good day to go for it. Last night I felt was a key cycle day and he was just like "do we have to". But the roll to the end of the month and he's disappointed I'm not pregnant. Can't have it all ways babe.

I'm trying to gently educate him about fertility/cycles etc because I think part of his issue is he is literally clueless. He really was of the opinion we'd have unprotected sex once and there would be a baby. He's fallen into the trap that loads of us do - assume it's easy but it's not always!