What day to test?

[whatdoyouthink123456]

Hi,

I know 'after a missed period' is the answer.

But I see all the videos online of people testing and filming reactions. Lots of them are monthly negative reactions, so I'm assuming they aren't waiting until a period is missed each month?

What day are people testing and feeling confident about the results?

After TTC #2 for over 2 years, I'm sick of all the waiting and false hope. The last few days drag with dreams that it might finally happen and then the continual disappointment of my period finally showing up.

Can I test 12DPO and be fairly comfortable that it's correct?

Do people test daily to see if anything is progressing? Does that help manage expectations?

As someone who tried for baby number 2 for 4 years, I can honestly say that I think early testing and line progression can be extremely detrimental to your mental health.

Maybe fine for a month or 2 but you become utterly obsessed - just look at this forum and all the posts for 'line eyes?', 'false positive?', 'false negative?', 'evap' etc etc. Even if there is something there they don't feel confident about the result and need to keep testing anyway until they get an unmistakable line.

Testing early also increases the risk of picking up a chemical pregnancy- something very common but that most women not early testing aren't even aware of happening. That's where you get a really early positive but the pregnancy doesn't 'stick' for want of a better word and you start bleeding around the time your period would be due anyway.

Line progression will drive you insane.

In both my pregnancies, I've waited till several days after missing a test and got a very strong, dye stealer. Then I've never tested again.

Everything you've said makes sense 100%, I'm just struggling with the monthly hope.

I do all the classic symptom spotting and checking my dates daily. I'm driving myself a bit mad with it. The last few days before my period I'm always googling everything and genuinely believe it could be the month. Only to be disappointed when I see my period starting like clockwork.

How did you get through 4 years?

Some people prefer to wait until a missed period as any lines that may appear on a test should be pretty visible/digital should be able to pick it up by that point. Testing earlier can show fainter lines (or negative digital) and leave you questioning whether it will develop, which can cause anxiety.

For me, personally, I've always tested before a missed period because I've always felt weird before my period was due to arrive.

1st pregnancy: tested 10DPO because I felt weird, and it was negative. Tested 11DPO because I woke up with terrible cramps but no AF and it was a very, very faint positive. I tested a few more times as I wanted to put positive tests in a box to surprise our mums with and noticed they weren't clearly visible. Sadly, the tests never got darker and I miscarried at 6 weeks.

2nd pregnancy: I felt tingling in my uterus and suddenly went off tea a few days later. Tested at 10DPO and had a very, very faint positive. I did test a few more times to make sure it wasn't the same story as last time because I was so afraid of not knowing it would happen in advance. My tests were very slow to develop and an early scan due to some pain showed I was measuring 10 days behind. I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks.

3rd pregnancy: hadn't been tracking as I was still recovering from my D&C, but suddenly kept having hot flushes and needing naps. I tested 9DPO and had a faint but clear positive. Healthy pregnancy with a little boy until 19 weeks when I went into spontaneous labour for no apparent reason.

4th (current) pregnancy: I had really strong implantation cramps at 7DPO. Woke up with milder cramps and unusual back ache at 9DPO. Checked my cervix, which was high and open, so I kind of knew. Tested and there was a faint but clear line. Line progression has been good thus far and I've been booked in for a viability scan by my consultant for 7 weeks.

So that's why some people like to test super early. If they've had a miscarriage, it can help prepare them for what's ahead. If they haven't, most people probably just wait for the missed period and then check with just one or two tests as the lines should be dark by then.

If your cycles are regular, and you know when you ovulated, you could get faint lines from 9DPO, but whether that would help you or make you more anxious than waiting it out, that would be for you to think about and decide. 12DPO, if you can be very certain of your ovulation date, should give a visible line if you're pregnant. Good luck!

@KittyFantastica

Thanks for sharing. Sounds like you've been through a lot.

Over the past 10 years iv had fertility problems. I had multiple failed IVF rounds, 2 miscarriages, 1 ectopic with tube removal.

I was surprised to fall pregnant fairly easily with my son (different partner) as we were only TTC for a few months, it didn't feel that stressful.

But we'd love another baby and nothing much is happening. We had a miscarriage nearly a year ago, but nothing since. I'm tracking ovulation, taking supplements etc.

I don't feel the same pressure as I'm really happy with my little boy, but another baby would complete our family. I don't know how long I can keep riding this rollercoaster, but on the other hand I don't know if I'm ready to give up on my baby dreams

It's so hard isn't it but i never found early testing helped minimise the monthly hope - even if you get an early BFN you just tell yourself it could be too early, you ovulated late etc etc and you end up testing morning and afternoon until your AF arrives anyway then the disappointment is crushing.

I guess it's a case of which is the lesser evil for you individually. For me the uncertainty and monthly emotional rollercoaster of the TWW and repeated testing was more damaging than the 'just wait and see'. Also for me, I didn't want to know about it if I'd had a chemical as that would have been upsetting.

The monthly hope and disappointment is there regardless. Testing early won't make you pregnant but the stress of it could delay your period! For my sanity, I had to teach myself how to almost 'switch off' on the run up to my period and accept that what would be would be and there wasn't a thing I could do about it!

I truly believe your mind and body play cruel tricks on you when TTC. I couldn't tell you the amount of months where I had every early symptom going and was absolutely convinced I was pregnant only for AF to arrive.
The 2 times I actually have been pregnant I had no early symptoms whatsoever. It was just a normal month which I'd written off both times as it felt like AF was about to arrive imminently.

I went through every stage over the 4 years and eventually reached an acceptance that I was too old and I needed to just be happy with DD1, which I was! We still had regular unprotected sex but stopped tracking so not actively trying as such. I ended up getting my BFP in the middle of an all inclusive holiday after sending DH out for a test as I suddenly went off coffee and alcohol then threw up one morning at breakfast. I'd have been 5-5.5 weeks when I tested and I got a really strong dye stealer line which came as such a shock in surprised I didn't pass out on the spot.
I'm now 31+ 3!

I hope however and whenever you test, you get your BFP very soon.

@sel2223 thanks!

You are probably right, il stress either way. I think the years are wearing me down.

My period is due this Friday and I'm in the hopeful phase where I just want to know.

Did you go to the doctor or consider fertility treatments for your secondary infertility?

I'm torn between being grateful for what I have and being annoyed that some people seem to get their dream family soo easily

I agree that early testing is a bit of a curse in that people now are aware of a chemical pregnancy, obsess over lines etc.
This didn’t happen back in the day where you had to miss 2 or even 3 full cycles to get to the docs!

For me, I prefer to know. Like a PP said, to prepare myself. I’m like that with everything in life, not just in this context.
Rather know so it might hurt less?
I don’t necessarily love this trait about myself, but that’s by the by.

But also, without my testing like a mad woman I may not have realised something was going wrong as there were so many chemicals and I was suffering secondary infertility of some kind.

I tried every quack theory and vitamin combo known to man 😂 but finally have managed to get tests, scans, and been prescribed progesterone, high dose folic, and optional aspirin.

If I didn’t test early, I’d be none the wiser.

Now, with this help, maybe I’ll have a chance? We shall see

To answer your original question, 12 DPO will be 80% plus of people positive by that point from what I’ve read.
But not all! So even then it’s hard to say. Not very helpful I know!

@CatchHimDerry

It's really tough isn't it. I had the PMT rage feeling last night so I'm already convinced that my period will show in the next few days.

I bought some cheap sticks but decided I'm just going to wait this cycle. I bet my period will show up by Friday.

It feels a bit hopeless, It feels like it might never happen.