In the 8th month of ttc and nothing so far

[TheCornishGoodLife]

We will be going into our 8th month of ttc and no sign of anything. It’s eating me up inside. Anyone else in a similar situation? I’m feeling very alone at the moment :(

I’m 30 and my husband is 33. We started to ttc the month I turned 30. We are both fit and healthy, no health issues at all, eat well, don’t smoke/drink/take drugs etc.

I track my cycles and have used the LH strips to check my fertile window (although I have stopped these now because they make me very anxious). We have also tried having sex every other day throughout the month as an option. Sex is such a chore now and we both feel exhausted by it all.

I naively thought it would be much easier than this :( and suddenly all my friends seem to be getting pregnant and I’m finding that so hard. My friend only messaged me the other day saying they’re pregnant and it’s a surprise. I can’t help but feel envious about how easy it seemingly was for them!

How do I stop it from consuming my whole life and thoughts? I can’t stop thinking about it and worrying about it (not helpful I know, but it seems impossible not to).

Sorry for the long post, I think I’m seeking reassurance/reaching out to stop the loneliness. I know it’s technically still in the okay time bracket, but I now feel very negative about it and that it’s just not going to happen for us :( thank you so much in advance.

It's disappointing to see the months pass. Maybe take a month off from actively trying and scheduling. It sounds like it might be causing too much stress.

You could get some private tests if you would prefer?

Wishing you the best of luck x

Thank you so much for being so lovely and understanding - I really appreciate it. It is very disappointing and, as everyone knows, a month feels like such a long time to wait each time!
I might start looking into private tests - if they come back okay, maybe I’ll then relax a little if I know there is nothing wrong with us.
One thing I did think was that we were going through a veryyyy difficult and stressful house sale/purchase which all kicked off the month after we started ttc (I was also only 3 months into a brand new job) - we finally moved into our new house 6 months later at the start of Dec. So perhaps that stress didn’t help..? It’s been a stressful time all round, so I’m hoping that we might have a better chance now that the house move stress is over..? Who knows 🤞
Thank you so much!

I could have written this myself a few months ago.
It took my husband and I 9 months to conceive and during that time I was convinced something was wrong since everyone else seemed to get pregnant so quickly. I even paid for private fertility tests at 6 months Ttc for me and my husband. The doctor reassured us everything was great and that it’s like the roll of a dice ‘ some people will roll a six on the first try, others it will take more goes’ she said that it might seem like everyone gets pregnant first try but it’s not the case and that those people are just more likely to tell you.
I know it’s really hard not to worry when it’s something you want so bad, but it really does just seem to take each couple a different amount of time even if everything is perfectly healthy.
my advice personally, would be to stop tracking and just try and enjoy life for a couple of months. If you are in a position to do so, paying for private tests might give you some reassurance.
Wishing you the best of luck x

Oh I feel this post so so so much. Its so hard trying to be happy for friends who have a WHOOPS pregnancy when you're trying so hard. I have a friend in a similar position and she's recently started trying to invest time and energy into skills, interests and hobbies eg signing up for a ceramics course or joining a local pilates class that looks good, just to build her life up and remind her there's so much more to her life than ttc and becoming a mum. I know its easier said than done.

I love this advice.

@TheCornishGoodLife I really understand how you're feeling, month 8 feels so long.

I have 2 children and have been pregnant 3 times, first pregnancy ended in a mmc. Each time I was ttc, I fell pregnant on cycle 8, aka a total of 24 months ttc!! It's so, so heart wrenching and by that point you really feel like giving up. By now though, you're statistically more than likely to be pregnant by April/ May time. sending you baby dust that cycle 8 is as lucky for you as it always was for me.

Aww just over a year ago this was me…it took me just a little over 8 months to conceive and it was so stressful! Sex became such a chore , I was obsessed with ovulation tests and tracking my cycle and my boyfriend and I were arguing more than we had ever argued before! It felt like so much pressure. I remember getting so upset when friends told me to ‘just relax’. Eventually I decided to take a break from it all, stopped using ovulation tests, started to have a glass or two of wine if I felt like it, and put less pressure on for my boyfriend and I to have sex….every 2 to 3 days instead of all through ovulation. And that month I fell pregnant. It might take a while, for some friends it has taken a little over a year. I wouldn’t worry about fertility tests just yet. As overs have said, maybe take a little break from it all. It’s such a tough time I know, and it’s so heartbreaking when another month rolls by without getting pregnant, but believe me,it’s normal for it to take a year or a little over to conceive and stress can have a bigger impact than you might think on your body. Good luck and baby dust to you!

I’m in the same boat—on my 8th cycle of trying for first baby. I’ve just come out of the FW so another TWW begins… Nothing to say except you’re not alone and I completely get it!