TTC at 42 with recently unpredictable cycle

[Ideasarewelcome]

Name changed for this, for privacy.

I'm open to any suggestions or advice that might help me conceive.

I'm 42, TTCing for baby number 2 with no success after many months.

My fist pregnancy, at 38, was quick but we had a lot more time and energy. I've been trying to time TTC with my fertile window but it isn't working.

Side note: I have recently noticed my previously 28 days cycles are becoming longer and less predictable. If this is peri, I maybe just too old?

I'm wondering should I be going for a medical check-up of some kind? Or taking any particular supplements.

I'm too old for IVF on NHS and anyway not sure I could handle it. Egg donation is not something I would consider.

I'm feeling down about this but equally realise how very lucky I am to have had baby number 1.

Still, any pointers gratefully appreciated. TIA

Hi op, maybe have a look at Zita Wests supplement plans. I've just started added the COq10 and the DHEA to my folic acid and vitamin D. I'm ttc for my first at 38 and these are supposed to help with egg quality.

If you're at the stage where you want to k wk if there any problems, loads of private clinics can do a fertility MOT for you and your partner.

Good luck!

How long have you been trying for OP? Once you’re over 35 a GP will see you after 6 months of trying so that could be worthwhile as even the initial blood tests to check hormone levels will let you know a bit about what is going on. As you already have a child you wouldn’t be eligible for NHS IVF, but there are other steps before that you could explore if for example the issue is ovulation, then medication like Clomid could help.

Agree with PP about vitamins, every little helps really, but if you’ve been trying for 6+ months at 42 you could chat to your GP x

Hi OP, I could almost have written this myself.

DD1 was born when I was 37 (conceived second cycle) and since then we haven't used contraception as we knew we wanted a second. For 4 years we never had even a sniff of a BFP.

Once I hit 40, my previously clockwork cycles went absolutely haywire which I put down to peri. My cycles would range from 30-50 days, sometimes I would skip a period altogether. We never sought any medical help with TTC and had just accepted that it wasn't going to happen for us (not saying this should be your approach, just that's it's what we did).

I finally got my BFP last summer in the middle of an all inclusive holiday. I had long since stepped away from the obsessive monthly testing and disappointment and only tested on cd56 this time as I completely went off alcohol and coffee then threw up one morning at breakfast - it turns out I was 5.5 weeks pregnant.

I'm now 42 years old and 31 weeks pregnant with DD2 - all is going really well so far and everything has been low risk in terms of scans and testing.

Good luck to you

After the age of 41 statistically you are looking at 2 out of 10 eggs with normal chromosomes.

Still possible to conceive, however be prepared for miscarriages.

A private cycle of IVF with genetic testing would probably be successful if no other health problems.

Thank you all for the sympathetic and supportive messages and idea. I will definitely look at these different supplements. I had been taking CQ10 but not consistently.

I think I should go to the GP. It has been 9 months and I know time is not on my side.

@Whisper99 No other health problems as far as we are aware... Do you have a rough idea of what a probate round of IVF might cost? I've no idea as I'd always assumed it isn't for me previously but I can see what your saying about statistical chances.

@sel2223 This is a lovely outcome. Congratulations! Yeah the OPK testing and monthly disappointment is pretty shit for metal wellness. I'll have to decide with my husband if we leave it to fate or get medical support.

*private

I completely empathise with you. I'm now 42, about to hit the 3 year mark of TTC #3 after a surprise pregnancy/early miscarriage....with nothing but a MC in November 2023 to show (or rather not show) for it all. We also decided not to go down the IVF route due to money and low chances of success, and there seems to be little point in going to the doctors as I gave signs of ovulation each month (positive OPKs, regular cycles) so I'm not sure what else they could do. My previous journeys were long (16 months and 12 months respectively) but I never expected to be approaching 40 cycles. It's also so frustrating when I know so many people (parents, grandparents, friends and acquaintances) who have managed - both deliberately and accidentally! - to conceive in their 40s yet I'm stuck resolutely at the wrong end of the odds. I'm currently 6dpo but am not holding out much hope for this cycle as we only managed to DTD at O-2 as I've been feeling crappy since NY. I have said this SOO many times but I'm definitely stopping next cycle as that will bring it full circle to the 3 years and will be time for me to face reality.

@curliegirlie I'm so sorry about your MC. It sounds like you've been through an awful lot and I completely understand that feeling of, how come it works out for other people but not me.

When I wrote MC I meant CP....so that was only a couple of days of absolute squinters before AF arrived and I knew from how faint they were at 12dpo that it was going to go that way. The original MC in contrast started with a shock glaring FRER BFP - cue us spending the next few days of working out the practicalities of a surprise third child - and then I started bleeding, I'd be surprised it I was any further gone than 5 weeks, but the positives hung around for 3 weeks....

It's ridiculous. In 3 years of course many significant dates and anniversaries whiz by...the CP ended up being practically on the anniversary of the MC's due date (you can imagine how amazing it seemed briefly that I'd caught that cycle), then on the due date the following year I'd just welcomed AF, when I found out that one of my close friends had found out she was pregnant but for a myriad of reasons couldn't continue. Life has a shitty sense of humour sometimes - swooping in on her when it was the last thing she needed, whilst my targeted attempts to catch ovulation over 37 cycles had completely failed 😞 .

I wish you all the luck in the world. Hopefully you'll be the Lucky to my Unlucky!

@Ideasarewelcome empathising with you also. Am 41 (42 in Aug) and had 1st age 38 after 9 months of ttc. Was scared off labour for 1.5 years but have been trying for about 1.5 years for 2nd with 2 miscarriages in the process. Off the back of this thread have ordered coq10 this morning. Like you realise how lucky I am to have one but finding it very hard to accept this could be it as for various reasons ivf not an option. Have a kind of cut off time in my head would love to move on with life and enjoy my existing family. It’s not quite as easy as that is it? I hope you get the outcome you want as soon as too x

Hoping to connect with you all and reignite this thread. I’m in the same position. I’m 42 and been trying for 9 cycles to conceive. I got pregnant easily with my son who is now 5.

I use the clear blue OPKs that seem to show I am ovulating (ie I got a static smiley face) but some months I have my period and some months seem to just skip it and be out of whack.

Im so worried I left it too late and all I see is pregnant women everywhere. I’m so upset and gutted I left it too late.

My husband and I don’t think we want to do IVF at this stage so just have to find a way to
let it go. Anyone got any advice? Xx

@EmberR similar situation except my youngest is 12 and we are on cycle 7, just turned 41.

ive had 4 periods this year and was averaging 50 day cycles however this month is the first month that on paper ive had a pretty normal 26 day cycle. Ovulation confirmed with opk and pdg tests.

i was quick to get to the gp for tests and my bloods were horrific earlier on with high fsh and lh, amh came in at 0.4 so was feeling pretty disheartened however I’ve finally found a nurse (not a gp they pretty much admitted they didn’t have a clue!) but she has been a gynae for 20 years.

She has said my last lot of bloods looks absolutely fine but would like to see if my body continues with normal cycles for 2 months before she puts me on performing/letrozole. She has given me swiftqheue in order to get my levels checked at the right time during my cycle (impossible to get a blood test at gp let alone short notice!)

she was so reassuring and is the first person that didn’t wave me out the door with the “you know you are of an age” instead she said plenty of women conceive in their 40s, it just takes a little longer.

Im on all the usual coq10, myointosol, folic acid, vitamin d etc and she said keep doing what I’m doing. I was even concerned I was a little on the overweight side but she said bot enough to affect pregnancy. I’m eating well and I’m gently exercising.

not sure what else I can do lol

Just as a little update, after 3 years, 2 MCs (including one in March) I am now nearly 10 weeks pregnant! I had a scan at 8w5d, we saw a bean and a little heartbeat, measuring bang on for my dates. And one of my post-MC cycles was very whacky - 17 days!!! I thought that meant I was swiftly hurtling into peri. Who knows, maybe I was, but still somehow managed to conceive the following cycle. Supplements wise I’d been taking Pregnacare Conception Max for a couple of months.

Congratulations @curliegirlie- what wonderful news!

Oh my with this being a short thread I’ve just read back through and seen your history - that makes it even more exciting! Just as you were about to call it quits too! Fabulous

Amazing news @curliegirlie congratulations and best of luck with your pregnancy.

A little update from me - my little girl is now 3 and a half months old, healthy and doing really well.

@EmberR- no great advice except to say I know how you’re feeling and what you’re going through (I’m in the same boat.. 42, daughter is almost 4 and conceived with no issues). And I’m sure you already have gone down this path but there are supplements to help strengthen the egg (Coq10/ubiquinol, omega 3, vitamin D, folic acid, and other vitamins out there). Sending you hope, from a pretty hopeless place

@CanuckinLondon thanks for your kind advice. Well I felt lucky last cycle as I fell pregnant but had an early miscarriage. I feel devastated. My husband has said no more trying. He sees how sad and obsessed I have become and I think feels we are too old. I hope others are going well xx

OP, I would start by investing in lots of ovulation tests. The expensive clearblue ones with smiley faces. Your cycle length is irrelevant if you know when you ovulated. The cheaper pink tests are unreliable for ovulation in my experience amd just not precise enough.

I have had not had any trouble falling and staying pregnant post 40 (3 times) but found only one method worked: conception on ovulation day - sex just one time per cycle. This had a 100% success rate for us.