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Original poster

Feeling rubbish after miscarriage

10 replies

tiffxxx · 09/01/2025 10:06

Hi all so me and my partner have been together for just over a year now but known each other a lot longer. Been ttc for the amount of time but in 2023 found out I had a 17cm ovarian cyst which had to be removed alone with my ovary and tube anyway last year in July that was removed so feeling quite rubbish after that thinking all my chances of being pregnant had gone out the window when to my shock the 27th December we got a positive and carried on checking till about New Year's Eve all the tests were coming back positive then I finally do a test on the 5th jan and to my horror came back negative then day after I started bleeding I've informed the doctors about this they've put it down to miscarriage but does everyone feel like they don't want to carry on trying after a miscarriage or feel like they have no one to talk to.

OP posts:
Boltonb · 09/01/2025 13:14

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage. There’s no right answer about whether or when to try again, it’s so personal. I was told by a doctor that you are usually more fertile in the couple of months after a miscarriage, so that also changes things for some people.

Original poster
tiffxxx · 09/01/2025 18:24

Boltonb · 09/01/2025 13:14

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage. There’s no right answer about whether or when to try again, it’s so personal. I was told by a doctor that you are usually more fertile in the couple of months after a miscarriage, so that also changes things for some people.

Thank you for your reply

OP posts:
Frostyaf · 09/01/2025 18:28

It's horrible OP, I'm sorry for your loss. Give yourself some time before you decide what to do next

Original poster
tiffxxx · 09/01/2025 18:32

Frostyaf · 09/01/2025 18:28

It's horrible OP, I'm sorry for your loss. Give yourself some time before you decide what to do next

I will do and I think for me the worst thing is we did tell people which we probably shouldn't of done but not one person has even bothered to check in with me and my partner to see how we're doing. I think they think I'm still pregnant but I'm not running to them and telling them about the miscarriage if they can't be bothered with us

OP posts:
KT199 · 10/01/2025 01:48

Hey, I’m sorry to hear what you’ve been through. A miscarriage is a really hard thing to deal with mentally and physically.
I’ve just experienced a MMC and had an MVA.
It is a personal decision as to whether you continue to TTC. For me I know it will be so scary the next time I see two lines but equally I can’t imagine not having a baby so know I will try again, just not sure when.
My only advice is to look after yourself, surround yourself with love and support and reevaluate whether you want to try again when you feel ready - you don’t need to make that decision now. Take care of yourself x

Original poster
tiffxxx · 10/01/2025 11:10

KT199 · 10/01/2025 01:48

Hey, I’m sorry to hear what you’ve been through. A miscarriage is a really hard thing to deal with mentally and physically.
I’ve just experienced a MMC and had an MVA.
It is a personal decision as to whether you continue to TTC. For me I know it will be so scary the next time I see two lines but equally I can’t imagine not having a baby so know I will try again, just not sure when.
My only advice is to look after yourself, surround yourself with love and support and reevaluate whether you want to try again when you feel ready - you don’t need to make that decision now. Take care of yourself x

Thank you xx

OP posts:
Frostyaf · 10/01/2025 13:11

Try not to be too hard on the people you told - they don't know what's happened, and it won't occur to most people to keep checking in on someone in early pregnancy.
If you see your future with dc I absolutely wouldn't stop after 1 miscarriage. I had 4 mcs and still ended up with my baby, don't give up hope.

Original poster
tiffxxx · 10/01/2025 13:17

Frostyaf · 10/01/2025 13:11

Try not to be too hard on the people you told - they don't know what's happened, and it won't occur to most people to keep checking in on someone in early pregnancy.
If you see your future with dc I absolutely wouldn't stop after 1 miscarriage. I had 4 mcs and still ended up with my baby, don't give up hope.

I know it just bugs me one of the people we told was my best mate and I've not heard one peep out of her but I'm not going to dwell over it I just won't be telling anyone till after everything is okay if it happens next time

OP posts:
Lollystar15 · 10/01/2025 17:31

I am so sorry for your loss.

I miscarried at 7 weeks back in November and also felt scared at the idea of trying again. We are going to start trying from my next cycle (period is due start of next week) but that's only because we both feel ready to.

We had told people we were pregnant and were a little upset we then had to explain that we'd lost the baby. I've found people won't mention it to me first and if I want to talk about it, I have to start the conversation. I think people don't know what to say and don't want to upset me so don't bring it up.

Take some time for yourself and go at your pace. You've lost a baby that you longed for and wanted and that is not easy at all. It's grief and will take some time to process.

Original poster
tiffxxx · 10/01/2025 18:10

Lollystar15 · 10/01/2025 17:31

I am so sorry for your loss.

I miscarried at 7 weeks back in November and also felt scared at the idea of trying again. We are going to start trying from my next cycle (period is due start of next week) but that's only because we both feel ready to.

We had told people we were pregnant and were a little upset we then had to explain that we'd lost the baby. I've found people won't mention it to me first and if I want to talk about it, I have to start the conversation. I think people don't know what to say and don't want to upset me so don't bring it up.

Take some time for yourself and go at your pace. You've lost a baby that you longed for and wanted and that is not easy at all. It's grief and will take some time to process.

Thank you and sorry for your loss

OP posts:
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