Anxiety+++ about BFP

[Swimminglily]

After a LOT of discussion and changing of minds of both Dh and I we started TTC a year ago, was aged 39 now 40. Last year BFP but miscarried, both very happy when bfp then sad with mc but ok. Both fine to be child free (we don’t want IVF/adoption) but prefer a dc. Tests all fine. Kept trying but lives don’t revolve around ttc. So now I think I’m pregnant, too early to check but I feel awful, completely anxious, upset, just surge of negative emotion and I don’t know why. I didn’t feel like this before, and was totally fine post MC (expected to have issues with our ages). I just don’t know what to do with myself, I can’t think clearly.

How many dpo are you? I was like this last at the end of my last cycle. I’d convinced myself that I was definitely pregnant (norovirus/covid nausea and fatigue had me certain I was pregnant) I suddenly felt massively terrified and anxious about it.
The thing is, I’m actively trying, want it to happen, and I’m already a mum to 1 😂 So it’s a huge and confusing thing to comprehend whether you are trying or not. Be gentle with yourself and do things that bring you joy while you wait to test.

Then of course AF arrived and I was utterly heartbroken. Conceiving or trying to is an emotional rollercoaster for anyone.