Starting IVF

[YourBusyZebra]

My husband and I are away to our IVF appointment in Aberdeen on Monday to start our IVF treatment and I'm so super stressed about it. I'm scared about the whole idea of IVF and it's causing us to fall out all the time which is making me think it's not a good idea to go ahead with it but we both really want to have a baby. I'm so scared and I don't what to do about all this extra anxiety I have on top of my everyday anxiety

Have you spoken to a professional about this OP? If not, I really recommend you do x

No I haven't. I was thinking to speak to them at our appointment but I was scared incase they tell me I'm not mentally ready for IVF.im just or sorts of nerves at the moment

Hi OP, it's natural to feel anxious about your treatment. Don't compare yourself to anyone else, your journey is individual to you.

I suffer from anxiety and although I was very excited, the day of my first injection I crumbled, my husband was at work and the pressure I felt to do this for everyone else not just myself was overwhelming. I cried and cried. I ended up in my parents house and my dad did my first injection ! My 10 year old DD is snuggling into me as I type still fast asleep (DH works nights and she makes the most of his side if the bed 😂)

Be kind to yourself, speak to the clinic when you go. I also had accupuncture if that's something you would consider. Practice mindfulness and focus on the end result.

Wishing you a lots of luck !

Aww I'm glad it all worked out well for you and thank you for sharing your experience with me. It really helps to hear from other people ☺️

Hi,

We started our first round of IVF Dec 2018 and I spent the first two days in bed crying. I think it was a mixture of excitement, anxiety and hormones. It was tough especially around Christmas and having to put a brave face on in front of extended family.

Now, after a rollercoaster ride and more rounds of IVF than I care to count we are a fabulous family of 4 ( a 5year old girl and an adorable baby).

There were definitely very hard and dark times but honestly I wouldn't change it for the world.

Hope your appointment goes well and feel free to DM me if you ever need any advice. p.s. remember to be kind to each other, my husband found it really tough as well at times. Although he wasn't being injected full of hormones he felt helpless as there wasn't really anything he could do to help.

Hello, I just began round 2 injections on Christmas Day. I also have anxiety issues (which I must say have lightened since I stopped drinking alcohol in aid of fertility!) but this time round it's been easier to say to myself not to get quite so wired about getting the injections right. That for me was the most worrying bit. I've gotten so used to being on this journey that the outcome was something I understood wasn't in my control.

What do you think is causing most of your anxiety? Is it the unknown? Or the whole will it work or won't it? Or the injections itself? Or all of the above?

During my base line scan I found out I have less than half the follicles I did at my last (only 6). I got pretty upset and cried a little. The nurse said something I think was helpful, that although "positive thinking" won't improve my chances, letting myself get wound up about my teeny tiny chance for success was only going to hurt my chances further. So I make it like taking my medicine. Doing my absolute best (not always possible) to not engage with my tendency to stress about stuff.

If the injections are worrying you (I had a couple of wobbles, including squirting half a dose into the air while on holiday because I was so nervous!) all I can say is that they absolutely get easier. I wouldn't let my partner help as I'm the practical one, but he was on standby. Once he had to hold the hand I was injecting with to steady it as I was trembling. Be really kind to yourself. Honestly, I was worried about the big unknown of ivf. I'd seen tv shows that probably added to the drama of it all. But if someone was to make a tv show about my first round, it'd be pretty boring. It was not at all bad, and I was just nervous excited for this round to start.

Sorry this message is massive, just wanted to chat through experience. Oh your ivf clinic will probably provide a councillor if you want one. I'm nhs, and had a panic attack during a scan one day so they referred me. (Related to past trauma really not ivf). I got a meeting very quickly and it did help.

Feel free to ask anything!x

Try not to focus too much on the amount of follicles. I had 11 in all, which isn't many in comparison to some people either and I only retrieved 6 eggs. They all fertilised and made it to day 5 ! Good luck x

Aw thanks @Schoolrunmum81 :) It does help to hear these stories. hopefully I’ll be a school run mum too one day!x

@Nosejug I think its just everything that scares me and I guess not knowing what is going to happen and yeh definitely the fact if it will work or not. I'm hoping after our appointment on Monday that things will be a bit clearer to me.
I guess because it has all happened quite suddenly and over Christmas there is the extra stresses aswell. I really appreciate you sharing your experience with me ☺️ wishing you all the luck

I'm so glad it all worked out for you😊 and thank you you so much for sharing with me. It really helps to hear from other people. I know I'm not the only one scared but sometimes you feel like you are the only one, if that makes sense

So often IVF is thought of as this awful trauma women go through but personally I loved it. Finally something to do constructive after years TTC. The drugs are also much less intrusive than normal hormone highs and lows of a natural cycle. And it gives you wonderful hope. I enjoyed 7 rounds of IVF and now have two living babies. Good luck, I hope you can enjoy it and see it as a positive. Watch Joy on Netflix xxx

@Nosejug as a pp said, don’t get too worried about how many follicles. They could see 5 on my scan. Only 2 eggs were retrieved. I was pretty down at this point and thought we were out of the game. Much to my surprise they both fertilised and made 2 lovely embryos.
Put both embryos back in at the same time & I became pregnant. This was my first & only round of ivf at 41 years old. My child is now 18 months and the light of our lives. He was worth the wait. Don’t give up hope.

@YourBusyZebra Be kind to yourself & each other. IVF is a brave thing to undertake for anyone. I found the medical procedures involved in ivf a breeze but struggled with the mental side of it. I had not suffered with anxiety before but it hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn’t feel in control and was convinced it wouldn’t work.
I think you should try & get some counselling through your clinic, anything to help you feel at ease. IVF did work for me and I really hope it works for you too.

@Farmersweeklyreader thank you so much ❤️

💕

@StillTrying10000 this gives me hope!

Hi lovely, we have went through IVF at Aberdeen as well back in 2021 and then recently for a sibling round through FET (which has failed unfortunately)

They offer counselling there as part of the treatment and it's really helpful and beneficial and something you should ask about.
It's quite a stressful, unknown time and totally normal to feel that way. I went years longing for a baby and then right before way to start IVF I started to doubt everything and question if I wanted to travel and be single etc but I think it's just a natural way of your brain going through things

@pinksheetss thank you for your message, sorry to hear that the second time was unsuccessful 😕
Yeh my head is all over the place at the moment so we will see what happens today as we have our appointment at 10.

So agree with what @StillTrying10000 said about the relief of finally doing something after so long just blindly ttc. I think that’s exactly why ivf for me was surprisingly positive despite not yet being successful. Really cool to find out what your body is up to too.

@Farmersweeklyreader loved your message of hope. Adding it to my litany of positive stories to focus on ♥️

@YourBusyZebra good luck this morning! I found that I was so giddy in my appointments that I didn’t listen properly to what they were telling me, so found it helpful to write little notes on my phone while they spoke. Probably just my own brain’s problem. Mumsnet groups have been really helpful for me, somewhere to share the experience with others who’ve been through it!

I had my 2nd appointment today and it went really well. Was worried for nothing. Just discussed through the forms and the doctor ran through the procedure and then I spoke to the nurse who was lovely and made me feel so comfortable
So it all doesn't seem so bad now but we will see when it comes to the next part
Thank you for all the nice comments everyone left, it was really helpful 😊

That's great news, the nurses at Aberdeen are all really lovely and take care of you

We had a failed cycle this time and looks like it will be February before we could go again

@pinksheetss
Sorry to hear that it didn't work this time. I'm sure next time round it will, wishing you lots of luck☺️
I think we are due to start our treatment in February aswell