Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Anxiety and second thoughts - normal?

6 replies

Crazyfarmgirl · 10/12/2024 14:21

So I've been off contraceptive since my toddler was born 2 years ago. Mainly because I wanted him to have a sibling nearer to his age. He's a wonderful little boy and I'm so grateful for him, but sometimes I find myself worrying or getting anxious about the thought of having another baby, despite wanting another. Thoughts of whether I'd cope. It doesn't happen often, but it's just these small bouts of anxiety. Is this a normal thing to experience while TTC?

OP posts:
Row23 · 10/12/2024 16:13

Yep, very normal.
You’re probably in a decent routine and with one child to think about it’s not too tricky to get out and about. You’re also fully aware of the ups and downs of the newborn stage and how tricky it may be to deal with the unpredictability of that time, alongside also keeping your toddlers routine going.
I think most people have these kinds of worries! But also, millions of people have more than one child and it’s all fine. I’m sure there are difficult moments, but they’re probably outweighed by the good.
You will be able to cope - think how nice it’ll be to have a toddler to help you out and entertain the baby at times!

ginasevern · 10/12/2024 16:24

There are many positives of having an only child. Obviously financially you will be better off with one and that will be beneficial for your son too in the long run. Quality of life is often better for a family with only one child. You can afford more holidays and leisure time for example. You can also devote more time to your lovely boy without tearing yourself in half all the time. School/nursery drop offs/pick ups will also be easier as will babysitting should you ever need it. Essentially life is far less complicated and expensive with only one child (which is a no brainer) and your son will benefit from more quality time and input from his mum. Also, please bear in mind that siblings aren't always ready made play mates. They often fight like cat and dog.

Original poster
Crazyfarmgirl · 10/12/2024 17:46

ginasevern · 10/12/2024 16:24

There are many positives of having an only child. Obviously financially you will be better off with one and that will be beneficial for your son too in the long run. Quality of life is often better for a family with only one child. You can afford more holidays and leisure time for example. You can also devote more time to your lovely boy without tearing yourself in half all the time. School/nursery drop offs/pick ups will also be easier as will babysitting should you ever need it. Essentially life is far less complicated and expensive with only one child (which is a no brainer) and your son will benefit from more quality time and input from his mum. Also, please bear in mind that siblings aren't always ready made play mates. They often fight like cat and dog.

Edited

Thank you for the honesty. I think I'm going to wait until the 2 week wait is up, then go back on BC for a bit. I have siblings myself and so does OH, so naturally we want a sibling for our son. But perhaps now isn't the right time. We don't do holidays or days out, so that won't be a problem, but things like food shopping and life in general I could imagine will be stressful. But then another part of me would love another baby. It's so difficult

OP posts:
ginasevern · 10/12/2024 17:53

Crazyfarmgirl · 10/12/2024 17:46

Thank you for the honesty. I think I'm going to wait until the 2 week wait is up, then go back on BC for a bit. I have siblings myself and so does OH, so naturally we want a sibling for our son. But perhaps now isn't the right time. We don't do holidays or days out, so that won't be a problem, but things like food shopping and life in general I could imagine will be stressful. But then another part of me would love another baby. It's so difficult

Show quote history

You might have guessed that I only ever had one - he's in his forties now and neither he, nor I, regret the decision. Just out of interest (even if you don't do holidays) you surely must have days out of some description sometimes or hope to in the future?

Original poster
Crazyfarmgirl · 10/12/2024 19:56

ginasevern · 10/12/2024 17:53

You might have guessed that I only ever had one - he's in his forties now and neither he, nor I, regret the decision. Just out of interest (even if you don't do holidays) you surely must have days out of some description sometimes or hope to in the future?

Show quote history

We had days out before our son came along, but not often. And never anywhere far. We live on a farm so all of our free time is spent there, hence the username! OH has 8 siblings, and his mother only spent her days on the farm. It's just a way of life now

OP posts:
ginasevern · 11/12/2024 13:46

Crazyfarmgirl · 10/12/2024 19:56

We had days out before our son came along, but not often. And never anywhere far. We live on a farm so all of our free time is spent there, hence the username! OH has 8 siblings, and his mother only spent her days on the farm. It's just a way of life now

Show quote history

Ah, that makes sense! Well, you can't have much leisure time at all as a farming family. What a wonderful environment for your son to grow up in.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page