Losing hope here

[Anonymous351]

Hi girls,
I'm 7dpo today (LH peak 8 days ago) and tested neg, I know that's still very early to test, and I promised myself this month I would wait.. but it's too hard, after a miscarriage in Feb, and after some time to rest my body, we have tried again ever month from May, 7 months of the arrival of the unwanted AF after convincing myself I can feel a twinge or my boobs feel fuller, I always feel like this months the month.. then the big BFN, day after day. I'm really starting to lose hope. I am taking coq10 and myo inositol, multivitamins and oil, keeping well hydrated, limiting caffeine and too much exercise, prioritising my sleep and managing stress the best I can, it's just not happening. I recently had my bloods done and my FSH was slightly elevated, I have tests again next week, hopefully it was just a one off (the doctor said that can commonly happen). I did have a cyst on one of my ovaries 2 years ago which caused me a lot of pain, im not sure if that can mess with FSH? And i was diagnosed with endometriosis around the same time, since then i did get pregnant, but sadly it wasnt to be as we lost it at 10 weeks.
I'm trying really hard to stay relaxed and positive but it just feels impossible lately. I've just turned 36 and I know time isn't on my side either. Does anyone have any positive stories? My OH won't do IVF either, as he only believes in natural pregnancies.
Baby dust to you all!

Sending lots of love. We had a miscarriage earlier in the year. We haven't dtd a lot due to sex drive differences so only a few times a month. I was starting to lose hope and my counsellor advised giving it a break for a few months. It was really hard to let go and I know it's cliche but we did fall pregnant the month we stopped trying. I think the sex was a lot better tbh. I don't know if this helped the process. I wasn't that relaxed as I was upset. We also stopped trying the month we fell before I miscarried before. I know this isn't overly helpful as I know how hard it is to let go but I'd strongly encourage a holiday and lots of focus on you two as a couple and self care etc. It might not work but it can take a toll mentally and regardless if you're ttc you deserve a break.

Big hug to you for going through this. Fertility struggles are emotionally and physically draining, on top of the stress and pressure of the future. Ultimately there are ways to get pregnant if you cannot conceive naturally (more common than you think, but no-one talks about it) - your partner has to decide whether having a child is more important than refusing IVF and potentially never having one. This would also take a lot of the pressure off you and the whole process.

I went through IVF and it really wasn't too bad or painful. I expected it to work the first time and was devastated when it didn't, changed my expectations for the second time and it worked.

Endometriosis and hormone levels may play a part - have you talked to your doctor about those? I had to take extra progesterone (cue PMSing every day) and thyroid meds....all worth it.

Stay strong and give yourself some extra TLC.

Also sorry I hope mine doesn't read annoying with the whole 'just relax' thing. I totally understand its not that easy and definitely agree with the other poster that ivf is definitely something that opens doors for many.

Positive story here!

We tried for two years for our second and had three miscarriages in that time (one of which was IVF). Our baby daughter (now six months) was a natural miracle 🥰

Please remember that people conceive in war zones and all kinds of stressful situations. Fertility issues are NOT occurring because you're not relaxed enough. I had lots of people suggest that to me when we were trying and and it was so upsetting as, whether people realise it or not, they're implying that it's your fault you can't get pregnant.

I have PCOS. If I hadn't been hyper vigilant about ovulation and timing sex accordingly, then my daughter wouldn't exist.

Thankyou. This is so lovely to read, I know you are right, the worry is so much bigger than it seems and the toll its taking could be huge.
I'm so sorry you went through that, but so so happy you did fall pregnant.
I will try to think about the end goal less, a holiday does sound needed to be honest.

Thankyiu. So glad it all worked out well for you, That really does give me hope.
I'm waiting to get more bloods done and then I guess I'll have the talk afterwards with my doctor about what comes next.
It really is all so draining and trying to stay hopeful seems impossible, trying not to think about it seems even more impossible. Thankyou for telling me your journey, and huge congratulations for you, That couldn't of been easy. I will certainly try to approach the topic again with my partner.
Im trying to keep faith and you girls are all so appreciated. Thankyou.

It absolutely doesn't 🥰.
Thankyou, it's really appreciated. And you are right I know.
It's silly how alone it feels going through this. Every message is so welcomed and helpful.

Thankyou so much for saying this ❤️
I feel the same, like every month could be my last and not trying to get the timing right could be the last chance I have. I know it sounds dramatic, but these are the thoughts in my head and trying to shut them down sometimes adds more stress than its worth. I know the stress doesn't help, but thankyou for saying it's not the reason either, it's definately something worth reminding myself of.
I'm so so happy for you that you have your baby now, hugest of congratulations!
Thankyou for sharing your story with me, it really helps and I'm very grateful.