Should we delay TTC?

[Myhusbandismywholepersonality]

My husband and I both 32 (33 in May) agreed to TTC earlier this year. We were lucky enough to fall pregnant very quickly in August which unfortunately ended in a miscarriage at 8 weeks.
We both want to start a family and are very aware of a ticking body clock, but, we have a lot of family events now planned for the latter half of next year.
We have a family wedding in early August, a weekend trip planned for a big birthday in early September and a week away for a big birthday in November.
I’m torn between TTC again and saying f* it to the events we have planned as a baby is what we both want, and delaying TTC until these events have passed so we can still attend.
I’m not sure why I’m posting here, or what I’m hoping to achieve, but it feels good to just to get it all out as there aren’t many people in our lives who know we’re trying or about the miscarriage

Hi @Myhusbandismywholepersonality i’m really sorry for your loss. I’ve had 2 losses in the past year, and it’s taught me that I just can’t plan for what happens in life. I’ve worried about certain events, and if I’d be able to attend if I was pregnant etc or had a baby. And the scenarios I had in my head just didn’t happen because of the losses. So I now just think I need to go with the flow & not plan for something that might not happen. That’s basically a long way of me saying, if it was me I would carry on with TTC as we just don’t know what the future holds

Thank you @Figtree11 that’s a really helpful perspective and one I hadn’t considered
I’m so sorry to hear of your losses and hope you get the baby you’re hoping for soon x

@Myhusbandismywholepersonality I agree with figtree. You can't plan these things as you could leave it until after these events and then struggle to get pregnant so quickly next time. I think you just need to go for it personally and see what happens, things always find a way to work themselves out. X

Thanks @jellyfish2 i think that’s my biggest worry, that we’re not as lucky this time round and it takes us a long time to get pregnant again.
I don’t want to miss out on events, but also, I don’t want to put things off and be waiting god knows how long for our rainbow baby
I know it’s impossible to plan at the best of times, but it feels even harder post miscarriage!

I'd never recommend delaying TTC because of upcoming events tbh. There's always stuff on the horizon and new things will probably come up after these. It would be a shame to miss attending something due to having a child but it's hard to know before conceiving if you'd actually have to do that. I did miss a couple of events due to my first baby being born and it was a bit sad, but honestly really not the end of the world - the baby definitely felt far more important.

I would say just keep having unprotected, and try not to overthink it, although I’m sure it’s hard given previous MC.

No way, there will always always be something or some reason to put off and time isn't on your side. Especially if you want to go on to have more than one.

I had to pull out of being a bridesmaid as due date was two weeks before the wedding, still attended but with a very tiny baby!

There’s never a good time to have a baby. You could delay to get past these events and then a whole other string of events will go in the calendar for the following year. Don’t delay, OP. When I miscarried earlier this year I was advised you're more fertile in the 3 months after a miscarriage, so if you still want to try again the time is now!

There'll always be something coming up - who knows what's planned for the following year. So don't wait because of that.

What I will say though, is if you want to do a few more things child free then yes enjoy another year of events. Get them out your system.

PS sorry about the MC

We both want to start a family and are very aware of a ticking body clock

dont put pressure on yourself. There is a lot of out of date information and data regarding women’s fertility. You’re still so young

only try when you feel ready. It doesn’t matter the reasons.

Thanks all, lots of interesting points to consider!

We’ve done lots of big holidays and feel like we have the ‘child free’ things done we’d like to do, so that’s not an issue thankfully

It’s hard knowing what’s the right decision, especially after a loss. We were both so excited at the prospect of taking our little one to all of these events with us, so post miscarriage it all feels a bit bitter sweet now if that makes sense?

I personally wouldn't delay.

I have been pregnant twice. The first was conceived very quickly (2nd cycle), it was then 4 years before I fell pregnant again.
We weren't necessarily actively TTC, tracking etc all that time but having regular intercourse throughout the month and no contraception etc and it just didn't happen for a long time.
There are absolutely no guarantees.... you could fall pregnant in a month or 2, it could be 6 months, a year or even longer. You can't plan it.

When I did eventually fall pregnant again, the timing was terrible but, you just make it work.