How did you know when to try for baby no2?

[Panda34]

Just interested to know how you knew when the right time was to have another child?

Dd is nearly 2 and up til now I couldn't have thought of anything worse! However it took us a few years to conceive her with. Few losses so I'm conscious that time is ticking..

I just can't imagine the chaos with 2 young kids but I guess there'll be chaos at any age?!

We knew we wanted two, and our logic was that we were already tired so might as well crack on. Two years and week between them and things are calming down now (3.5 and 1.5).

I’m TTC nr 2 and nr 1 is not 2 yet.
We feel ready, have a really good system with work/nursery, DC is quite independent and eats nicely with a spoon, is an overall joy of our lives so we can’t wait to have a second.

DD is 3.5 and I’m expecting no2. For a couple of years I was ‘one and done’ but as DD got older it became slightly easier, money wasn’t so tight and we decided another would be nice. Time will tell what the reality will be!

We knew we wanted two, also had issues conceiving first time around. Worked out the absolute earliest we could handle another (based on our DSs age and access to funding at nursery) and started trying 9 months before that. Assumed it would take a year or so (took 2 years last time, no assistance) and it took one MONTH! Was a big shock tbh and I had really underestimated how hard it would be to be pregnant with a toddler. Now though we're over the moon. Age gap will be 2 years 2 months.

Always knew I'd have at least 2. When she was about 18 months I cld start to imagine it and cldnt have handled anything less than 2.5yr age gap. Ideally wanted 3yr gap. Even though first DD was a great baby and slept well etc.

So starting just trying and got pregnant really quickly and I have that age gap. They are now almost 5 and 7 and the last couple of yrs we have really seen the benefit of the age gap. Being 2 girls they have very similar interests and like the same toys etc and sometimes play together nicely, more so recently I've noticed they play tougher a lot more. My sil has a 4yr gap and it's becoming more and more of a problem as they are at different stages and interests.

I mean DD2 was a terrible sleeper and baby the first 2 yrs were especially tough if she had been my first there's no way I'd have a smaller age gap.

My first is 2.3 months, and I'll give birth to number 2 when he's 2.6 months. Ideally, we'd have given it another year for a myriad of reasons - I'd rather DC1 had a better understanding of there being a baby on the way, I'd rather not have 2 in nappies, I'd rather have waited so that by the time DC2 went to nursery, DC1 would have been at school to avoid x2 nursery fees...but it took us 4 years to concieve DC1, so I was anticipating a similar struggle this time round, so we wanted to start trying sooner rather than later...as it happened, I concieved the first month we tried so here we are 😂 Occasionally, I get moments of panic at the idea of the chaos to come, but just keep telling myself other people manage it, so it must be do-able.

We started trying again when our son turned one as we knew we had fertility issues. He was 3.5 by the time our daughter was born and we ended up having IVF so good job we started when we did!

A 2 year age gap was the norm when I had kids in the 90s…..so I was just a sheep really…..I have 2years and a month between my first 2 children

I was over 40 when I had my first so didn't have much time. I wanted about two years between them but wanted a spring baby as first was late July so young for their school year. It took four months to conceive the first so I just counted back and started trying when my first was around eight/nine months. It took four months again and they are 21 months apart.

We did it as soon as we practically could -- so went off pill at 11m when my body had had time to recover and got pregnant straight away (19m between them).

I was nearing 40. I'd already taken time off for the 1st so we thought we might as well have it overlap a bit. Pros and cons to any age gap.

To be honest it was much more practical reason. I had a conversation with a friend who's sister really struggles to conceive baby no.2 and ended up with a 7 year age gap. She said whilst it was fine when DC 2 was a baby, after that it really made weekend and holiday plans difficult as both DC like different stuff and nothing age appropriate for the both so couldn't take them both to soft play or Coleman to watch the same film etc.

This gave me massive pause for thought and we tried for no.2 straight away. We have 2 years 9 months gap and it works well for us. They even like a lot of the same toys now they are 4&7. And we can all go out on the weekends for days out to places they will both enjoy.

Just another take to consider.

Currently pregnant with second baby, will have 18 months between DC1 and DC2. Always knew wanted more than 1 child...never wanted to be an 'old' mum (I'm still young in many people's eyes!) and DH is older than me ... So age related really! Would have probably had a bigger age gap between DC if we were younger but equally we're so ready to have another (I think?!) 🫣😂

I was similar to you in that up until recently I was adamant I wouldn’t have another child. My toddler is just over 1.5 years old and a few months ago something just completely changed in my mind and now I do want another. I think by around 18 months they’re so much more independent and fun so it’s easier, and that’s why we start thinking we can do it again. Though there are definitely times when he’s having a tantrum or refusing to eat dinner that I feel like I couldn’t cope with two kids doing this!

I wanted a two year gap so started trying a bit early & ended up with a 22 month gap. It was all a bit of a blur for several years….

We’ve always known we wanted another child. We want them quite close in age so they can grow up together but not so close that it would be like having 2 babies. We decided to wait until our son is 2 to start trying again, because the world health organisation recommends a gap of at least 2 years between pregnancies and this seems sensible to us.

We ideally wanted a 3 year age gap for a few reasons: financial (so we wouldn't be paying two lots of childcare fees at the same time) plus anecdotal stories that a 3 year age gap means less jealousy. Also I just wasn't remotely ready until eldest was coming up to aged 2.
Started trying when eldest turned 2, and we are a few weeks under a 3 year age gap.

Thanks everyone, some food for thought! Now I've thought about it I think I really would like another with around about a 3 year age gap, strange how you can suddenly feel ready for another!

My philosophy is if you’re going through hell, just keep going 👍