Struggling with infertility

[Minniemad0110]

Hi all,
I’ve spent so much time scrolling through the chats and thought I would share.
Im 32 yo and my DH is 30 yo. My DH and I have been TTC naturally for nearly 3 years. So far we have got no where. Not one single positive test. Nothing.
My SIL and 2 best friends are all pregnant. Everyone around me is pregnant. I’m really struggling with this.
I’m taking every vitamin, doing every test BBT, Ovulation tracking. You name it I’m doing it. We haven’t yet had an NHS fertility specialist appointment, although all our initial tests came back fine. (Our appointment is in July)

Everyone keeps saying ‘stop thinking about it’ but I just can’t. It's consuming my life.

does anyone have any tips of how to ‘stop thinking about it’ and actually accepting the situation you’re in.
Also how reliable is BBT because I am so obsessed with it, that I have two graphs. One for the recorded temperature at the time I wake up and a standardised graph so they are all related to the same time.

I’m sorry you are going through this. I can’t offer much advice as I’m in the same boat just a little further down the road (TTC two years but with two failed IVF rounds in there. Round three in January). Try to find joy in other things while you are waiting. We’ve been on holidays, deep cleaned, redecorated, worked on health and fitness, just tried to get ourselves and our environment “ready” to hopefully bring our baby home.

Thankyou ❤️ Sending you so much love and hope for your third round ❤️

@Minniemad0110 sending lots of love your way. My story is slightly different (took 19months with #1 and now in cycle 10 of trying for #2 low morphology a factor).
Everyone around you pregnant - yes tell me about it, life's a bitch.
As to how to chill out about it.....as others have mentioned holidays/house projects etc.
I'm quite into podcasts rather than doom scrolling - fertility related (BFN, Making Babies) but also other things: NewsAgent etc.
I'm trying to get into running - I've recently started couch to 5k and try and do weekly pilates . No idea if any of this makes a difference but I sort of feel better for 'trying to do something'.
Another thing I've started doing is treating myself monthly when AF comes - this month it was lunch out with a good friend, last month it was a pair of adidas spezials.
Good luck to you - wishing you all the best!

Have u paid for tube flush ?
515 gbp = private hyfosy

I recommend that

I was in your position years ago and I remember similar feelings. It seemed that so many around me were getting pregnant and moving into that next life phase.

I would chart your BBT for a few months and keep them to show your gynaecology consultant, then forget about doing it regularly.

What helped me through this time

• being open about my struggles with a small group of close friends. One it turned out, was needing fertility treatment and thought she was the only one! So reach out.
• volunteering with kids at a church crèche. Yes really. Iman Bowie said ‘in Somalia they say if you are having trouble getting pregnant you must hold a baby’. So I did. I expected it to be emotionally painful but it helped!
• Eating well and doing exercise for my own pleasure, rather than being driven by becoming ‘pregnancy ready’

We spent a few years ttc with no luck at all and I became more and more obsessed with tracking ovulation, looking at different supplements, researching ivf rates etc.
We were referred to an ivf clinic and found out that my OH had awful sperm (very low number, low morphology, low everything really) and I have endometriosis and was told both of my fallopian tubes were completely blocked so there was no chance of conceiving naturally.
I was absolutely devastated and thought I'd never be a mum but we went ahead with ivf and had a gorgeous little boy and I'm currently pregnant with number 2.
It's so so hard to break out of the ttc rabbit hole and I found myself completely obsessed with it. As for everyone around you getting pregnant, it's so so hard. My SIL got pregnant while we were waiting to start ivf and I cried my eyes out.
If I could go back and give myself some advice it'd be to not put things on hold for fertility treatments (e.g travelling, hobbies, spending money on myself etc)
Stay away from Dr Google!!!
Step away from all things fertility related if possible
Book things to look forward to and to keep you occupied - I really wish we'd have booked more time away/gone travelling more
Try not to beat yourself up about how you're feeling, and don't try and pretend you're fine if you're not. Acknowledge your feelings and try and talk to someone about it, it really helps.
Don't bottle things up!

Sending you lots of luck on your journey 💕

Thanks so much for your post - i have blocked tubes - we have ivf in our future

I understand how you’re feeling, particularly the bit about everyone around you being pregnant or recently having kids. I find it hard to not distance myself from friends or “fake” happiness.

We’ve been TTC since June 2023. I’ve had 3 rounds of bloods, 2 ultra sounds and 2 trans vaginal scans. (One of each of these was though Bupa). My husband had a sperm test with the NHS which he was waiting 2 months for. He has 3% morphology and 42% motility. Not low by any means but below average. He has just started taking Proxeed.

I’ve gone through Bupa under the guise of women’s health for now which my consultant is happy to support as I do have painful and heavy periods and pain during sex sometimes. She has booked me in for a laparoscopy in a few weeks to see if there is any scarring on my tubes and flush them out.

I guess the only advice I have to give is that if you can afford to do anything privately, you’ll get faster answers which is a massive help in this journey. I know this will work out for you.

Sorry to hear you're struggling. We've been TTC 18 months with one MC in that time. I find it all consuming too so instead of trying to relax I feel my time with fun activities and like another poster said, so things I want to do, including exercise. I decided to treat it like I'm making the most of my child free time. I've been to two gigs this month for example, and taken up badminton. Reconnecting with myself outside of fertility has been the most helpful.

I have been ttc for 15 months (though have basically used withdrawal method for 8 years). No baby. Also 32.

I am just taking things as they come and seeking fertility treafment on the nhs. If it works out, it works out. If it doesn't then I will still be happy.

We have been ttc #3 for 3 years now.
#1 took 6 years and ICSI.
#2 tried for 18 months then did a FET with embryos from previous IVF
#3 we’ve now done 4 letrozole cycles and I’ve had various other tests and procedures and nothing is working. Trying to figure out whether to give up or try ivf again