TTC after loss

[PearlCat]

Hi all,

I'm approaching what would have been the due date for the ectopic pregnancy I had back in March. I'm really struggling this week, even though things had been feeling better, with overwhelming waves of grief and this feeling that it's never going to happen. We've been trying again since May and nothing yet :( but have had a ton of family members announce their pregnancies since. Am I doing something wrong... I just feel like I am and it hurts :(

Xxx

I’m sorry @PearlCat you’re not alone. It’s really hard. I passed one due date in June, and have another coming up in just over 3 weeks. I’ve been TTC since end July and nothing. I too have had a lot of pregnancy announcements around me!
You aren’t doing anything wrong, I think for some it just takes longer after loss unfortunately. I am 10dpo today and have no desire to test as I just expect it will be negative.
I don’t really have any advice regarding the due date, as I know I will be sad again around the date my next one will be

Thank you for your reply. I just don't understand really, it's just all so confusing and feels so lonely, reaching out here definitely helps. We are DTD every other day between days 7-20, bit more around ovulation. Trying to relax.. whatever that means. Just feels so difficult to trust and wait. I'm so sorry too @Figtree11 for both your losses. I remember you mentioning you have some tests coming up, really hope they clear up some answers for you ❤️.

Hey. We lost our baby at 16 weeks in May and our due date is in two days.

we are currently pregnant (6weeks) so I thought I’d pop on and just tell you what worked for us - I know everyone’s different but I hunted for tips so thought I’d share.

I will say the things I was doing was a list as long as my arm, but the things I do believe helped was:

procieve lube - first time we used.

I took coq10 for 3 months before.

and acupuncture a week before ovulation and a week after.

Thank you @CSSL7 that's really helpful! Do you mind telling me the brand you used for Coq10. I've been looking into starting that. I might look into acupuncture too, it's just the cost side that has put me off in the past. So so sorry for your loss and I can imagine you are full of mixed emotions at the moment. Wishing you all the luck in the world with your new pregnancy xxx

This is the one I got from Amazon. Our loss was due to chromosomal abnormalities so I took this straight away to improve egg quality. Obviously I don’t know if it’s worked yet until I get a NIPT at ten weeks! 😩 but I do think I’ve done all I can.

I had tried endless things to be honest since May. I also kept my feel warm the entire TWW. Hot water bottle, no baths, drank beetroot juice. But all of those little things were things I’d done every month - the lube and acupuncture were the two new things I added.

thanks so much! Good luck! I hope your time comes soon.

Talking really does help. Have you tried any sort of therapy? Through my EPU I had a session with a gynagological counsellor. I didn’t gel with her, but has definitely made me think if I need support in future I’ll reach out.
We’ve also been dtd every other day & then more at ovulation, as my cycles still aren’t regular so was trying to make sure I covered all bases.
Thank you, I have my appointment in a few weeks so I feel better in myself that I’m working towards that

Oh I am so sorry I really feel for you. I had a mmc in May and every reminder of where I should have been sent me into floods of tears. My friend was due the same time as me and every time I saw her I would be inconsolable afterwards. The feelings of there being something wrong with me really resonated. Constantly feeling like my body had betrayed me. I was convinced I had everything from short luteal phase to poor egg quality and low reserve. Advice is be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up for any ugly feelings and if you can I would book in some really lovely treats for the day. Whether it's meals out/getting your hair/nails done or going shopping, treat yourself kindly.

I've just got pregnant again.

I'm not sure I did anything differently that helped this time. In fact I did everything you shouldn't do.
Only ttc once in the fertile window. I felt like giving up by this point, I found ttc so stressful and had actually planned a 2 month break from ttc!
Came off all proceive etc and just took folic acid, vit d and vit b.
Tested negative at 8dpo (had a positive test last time at 7dpo mid morning so was convinced I was out)
Went to a spa for a vigorous massage later that day. Then sat in a hot tub and sauna and drank lots of cocktails to drown my sorrows. Went upstairs, had implantation bleed and had a strong positive the morning after.

The month before I am sure sperm met egg because I had the same sore boobs/tiredness etc as I had this month and the last time I was pregnant, but obviously didn't implant. I am pretty sure this time I implanted mid massage so who knows if the circulation boost helped!

I'd also been incredibly stressed in work following my mmc and wasn't eating well/frequently. I'd also been run down and had a horrible cold over ovulation week. My workload massively dropped a couple of days before ovulation and stayed low and I made time to eat 3 full meals every day from that point. I also got a walking pad that i used every day from about 4dpo as I'm normally very sedentary!

I know chances of another mmc are definitely on the cards but I'm trying to take the view that if it happens, it's going to happen and I can't do anything about it. I really hope you get pregnant soon.