TTC and losing all motivation for work?

[1woodpecker]

I don’t know if anyone else feels the same. But for ages I’ve had such low motivation at work (in a career I do/did enjoy), I think because of the overwhelming feeling that I should be being a mum.
I tried to tell my partner this and I think he thought I meant I just want to stay at home which was not what I meant at all, more about my role and identity and what I feel I should or want to be doing at this point in my life.
I worry what if it just doesn’t happen and also how I keep motivation going!

Oh. My. Word.
I totally get this and am in a similar position. And when I’ve been really upset I’ve even said things like ‘what’s the point of anything?’ Or ‘I don’t want to not have a life without children’ which has upset my partner, which now I’m calm. I get!

Have you been trying for?

Totally understand this! Also kept myself in a job I really didn't like because of the "what if I get pregnant and then am not eligible for mat leave" thoughts! I've actually just started a new job this week, at a company that aligns with my personal values and feels much more like me! I'm hoping it'll reignite my spark at work 😂🙈

I feel like this too, and I've dedicated a ridiculous amount of my life to getting this far in the career/field I'm in. Sometimes I feel like I just want to be a mum and don't really care about the career at all anymore.

I could have written this post myself. As one of the other posters said, I feel so trapped by the “what if I get pregnant soon in a new job”. It’s really difficult. TTC does become very overwhelmed and all consuming. You do become apathetic to other things because you think what if this life-changing thing never happens to me. It’s a hard journey

I have felt like that too, or just finding it hard to focus.

Totally feel like this too!
Most of this year, trying to be casual about it but have had a pretty stressful year so been really working on trying to reduce stress and slow down my life - maybe that’s also party why I’ve lost motivation, not wanting to be go go go all the time

@moosey89 Ah yes!! I spent ages calculating how long I needed to be in my new job, worried if we TTC and it happened quickly I wouldn’t get the full mat pay! But that time has flown past now 🙈

@1woodpecker yeah same here! So now I'm starting the new job and still TTC as the shortest time it's taken me to conceive is 6 months, longest 2.5 years, 3 losses.... Can't put the rest of my life on hold for "what ifs" anymore!

I feel you… so much!
it’s one of the most exhausting journeys I have ever been on. And I don’t know about you but it’s in your mind all the time especially when planning things.

a friend asked me if I wanted to go to a concert next September and in my head I wa think well I’ll be pregnant so… but likelihood is I will still be on this journey.

what are you trying to reduce your stress? I deleted all my social media last month and that’s really helped

Sorry to hear that moosey. But totally agree can’t put life on hold! Makes me wish we’d started sooner. Also when I see others talking about waiting for the right time I feel like shouting “noooo!” But then, it’s a balance isn’t it

Yes absolutely!!!

I’m trying to work from home more so I get more sleep, shorter working day, try and get out for a little walk, trying to eat better, getting into bed earlier and reading, and making a big effort to not get dragged into stressful things (this is the hardest but I’ve had some counselling to help)

Yup for sure - I always tell people be prepared for it to happen month 1 or for it to take years (or sometimes, sadly, not happen). Just have to be open to all possibilities and try to go with whatever happens! I was no good at that before tbh but this is forcing me to accept that the universe does what it wants and we just have to roll with it 😅