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Don’t want my hopes up 😢

4 replies

MissEmily5 · 13/10/2024 18:59

Hello,
I’m so anxious and just need to get it off my chest.

Me and my OH having been trying for baby number one for 14 months now. We’ve had a proper rollercoaster of a journey so far; some early testing revealed that I had a thin uterus lining and my husband had a low sperm count. I also have a constant issue of spotting.

We feel like we’ve tried absolutely everything and had lots of tests and it’s all starting to feel too much. In the past year we’ve worked on our problems from the research I’ve done and my husband with cutting out caffeine and supplements has managed to improve his sperm count to over 15 mil so now in ‘normal’ range. All the rest is good in terms of morphology and motility.

When I had my hycosy everything looked good and my lining was how it was. But I spot a lot and have done for over and year and no doctor seems to be too bothered. I’ve had progesterone tests at different points of my cycle and all come back as fine, but I spot sometimes up to 5 days before my period and because I have an already short luteal phrase most of time it’s no good.

I’ve tried lots of things recommended and no luck. My latest thing has been acupuncture which I feel most hopeful for because the doctor has been super knowledgable and has great reviews. I’ve been having weekly sessions and had three so far, with the herbal supplements and have been following womb warming advice.

I was due on Saturday, so yesterday (the first time I’ve ever been late besides the one super long freak cycle I had 6 months ago) and no period yet…

Bright side, I haven’t spotted in the days leading up to my period due date at all but I’m the Saturday morning I got some pale pink discharge, so put a pad on and just expected my period. When I checked my pad a few hours later a small amount of creamy brown discharge and some brown when I wiped. As the day went on it was very, very light brown when wiping and a tiny bit my pants.

Wake up this morning and when I wipe it was bright light red (not my usual period blood- usually dark deep red) so I resigned myself that my period had come. All day, it’s been just some very light brown when wiping and a tiny amount on my pads. Now, I’ve just passed a bowel movement and some more bright red but no more after I wiped.

A big part of me thinks that it’s just my period coming a little later and it’s been pushed back because of the acupuncture. But because I’ve not had any cramps just some nausea and it’s been so little blood, not enough to fill even one pad at all (all the spotting combined) then maybe, just maybe we might finally have our miracle.

I’m just so anxious that it’s going to start with a vengeance tomorrow and that niggling little bit of hope will just make it so, so much worse.

I’ve attached some pictures to show the sort of spotting I’ve been experiencing. It’s mainly been the light brown spotting and the red only twice. Apologies in advanced!

I know no one can actually help me and only time can tell but just needed to get it off my chest.

Sensitive content
Don’t want my hopes up 😢
Sensitive content
Don’t want my hopes up 😢
Sensitive content
Don’t want my hopes up 😢
Sensitive content
Don’t want my hopes up 😢
OP posts:
merryandbrightdelight · 13/10/2024 19:04

Didn't want to read and run op because I know how hard it must be for you. I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility and we had IVF to have DD1 - I read amazing things about acupuncture too so I had three sessions around egg collection and transfer and first go was successful for us! I then fell naturally with DD2 a year later and had constant bleeding with her throughout.

I truly hope that this is your moment - the very light could be implantation bleeding. Fingers crossed

CosmicLove · 13/10/2024 20:08

I had a BFP a couple of days before AF was due, and then started spotting the night before AF was due. The spotting continued for 8 days, but it stayed light the whole time and my test lines got darker each day. The spotting looked like you describe - mostly brown but with some pink / light red. The pregnancy has stuck and I'm now 20 weeks. I never did find out why I was spotting but it doesn't always mean the worst. It can be a normal part of early pregnancy. Keeping everything crossed for you 🤞♥️

OneBluePanda · 13/10/2024 22:56

Hi,

I’m in a really similar situation and just wanted to drop you a message to give you some support. I’ve been trying for 16 months and am two days late, but I have such irregular cycles I’m trying so so so hard not to get my hopes up.

This is such a cruel journey and the anxiety is so unbearable. I’m right there with you

MissEmily5 · 14/10/2024 07:45

@merryandbrightdelight firstly, thank you for taking the time to reply:) and secondly, I’m so glad you got your happy ending! I’ll definitely be continuing with acupuncture, I think it’s one of those things you need to give time too.

@CosmicLove huge congratulations! I’m wishing you all the best for the rest of the pregnancy and afterwards:) would love for a happy ending like yourself but BFN this morning for me. Hopefully it’s soon though ✨

@OneBluePanda sending lots of love and care- it sucks. Worst experience of my life and so emotionally draining. Good luck with everything 💖

Unfortunately I tested this morning (technically 14dpo as I usually have a luteal phrase of 12 days) and BFN (twice- just to be sure). I’m still brown spotting now and only when I wipe. I guess it’s a just a waiting came off when AF will show. If I’m not pregnant I just want her to show ASAP and hopefully not have a crazy long cycle.
Thank you again, to all of you for taking the time to respond and make me feel that little less alone x

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