Relax and it will happen when the time is right....

[BussiBop23]

I'm so over the whole 'relax and it will happen' approach. It's not working - I'm not relaxed and it's not happening. 2 years now with one miscarriage along the way ttc baby no.1.

I want to know all the things you've done that you believed help you conceive so I can create a plan of action. We've been taking a few supplements and using an app to track my fertile days but that's about it.

We are also waiting for a fertility clinic appointment which is in Feb but I'm losing my mind with the wait! Hoping a plan will help me feel a little more in control of this crap situation!

Are you using ovulations tests alongside the app? The apps were always really wrong for my ovulation. Otherwise, what about diet improvements, cut out alcohol, more exercise (for you both)?

Hey OP, completely understand your frustration and I am sending lots of baby dust your way xx. What seems to have done the trick for us is a mix of things : doing OPK tests (use premium off Amazon so quite cheap), specific lube from a brand called baby start( but there s other ones like proceive I think) taking pregnacare /folic acid. Then dtd every other day during the fertile window. Are you able to do some tests like Hertility before your February appointment? Good luck x

Have sex outside of your ovulation window. 2 years I was try to conceive and was tracking ovulation. Had sex outside of the window, without planning, just for fun and I’m pretty certain that was the occasion that resulted in pregnancy. I have 2 July babies so I also have a theory that I can only get pregnant at a certain time each year 🤷‍♀️

Check out Ovusense as an alternative to OPKs.

Matcha powder was also something recommended so I took that too. I took in capsule form. I didn’t get to the end of the bottle I seem to remember as I ended up giving them to a friend who was trying after I fell pregnant.

We tried for 2.5 years before we finally succeeded. 6 weeks before we conceived I started taking Ubiquinol and Proceive Max. I also realised I can tell when I am ovulating from feeling aroused and increased EWCM so I used that as an indication to seduce my DH. I had high BMI so I did some 16:8 fasting to reset my body as well.

Same situation here. Coming up to 2 years by the end of this month with a miscarriage this February.
mu cycles are all of a sudden irregular. Ovulated 1 week late last month.
I had very high sex drive and EWCM for the past couple of days and it’s now slowing down. Opks were slightly (not enough) elevated yesterday but no BBT rise yet. Should have ovulated today at latest.

Same happened with my sister. I believe this is why the ‘relax and it’ll happen’ approach does sometimes work. Our bodies are not all the same!

Defo OPK sticks - they showed I was ovulating a few days later than the app suggested. And hold out on the DTD until you get a positive OPK - if you bang every day for the 5 or 6 days in the lead up to ovulating, chances are DP will be running dry!

Also, do the OPK sticks every couple of hours once you head into the fertile window. I only went positive for a couple of hours, so testing once or twice a day would often miss it.

Finally, a hycosy or tubes flush worked for me. I fell pregnant after 18-months of TTC the month after I had the Hycosy. I had it through the NHS.

TBF we did also decide to give up trying for Xmas and NYE. I was taking loads of supplements, and not letting my DH have hot baths or have his laptop on his lap, and not drinking booze etc. And we just did whatever we want for the festive period: got super drunk, spent all of NYE in a hot tub, ate bucket loads of blue cheese.... and bamn! Preggo.

So maybe that is testament to the relax it will happen mentality.

Good luck - TTC sucks and I wish you the very best. xx

p.s. I now have three children, my younger two were both very quick to conceive!

This is the plan I made for myself when we weren’t conceiving quickly. It finally worked after 14 cycles. I think the most important thing is having sex frequently around ovulation. I’m also impressed by the data about ubiquinol for improving sperm quality and possibly egg quality.

• try to have sex every 2-3 days in the fertile period
• look for EWCM to determine your most fertile days
• try to be as wet as possible when DTD (sorry)
• don’t overeat sugar (25g/day of added sugar)
• do a bit of exercise every day (even a short walk)
• prioritise getting enough sleep
• make sure partner isn’t overheating testicles (with hot baths, for instance)

Daily supplements (for both partners):
• prenatal vitamin
• 200mg ubiquinol
• 500mg vitamin C
• 2000IU vitamin D
• 500mg omega-3

So unhelpful when drs say just have sex 2-3 times per week etc. I think this is nonsense, outdated advice and turns it into a chore having to have so much sex! You have no chance of TTC outside your fertile window so it’s pointless.

Instead focus your energy on your fertile window. The build up in between will mean you both actually really want and enjoy it when that time comes!

Just tracking on an app isn’t accurate enough - use ovulation test sticks so you can be certain of your fertile days.

I conceived by having sex twice during my fertile window (not at all the rest of the month) and then lifting my bum up on a pillow with my legs against the wall for 10 mins afterwards for gravity assistance 🤣. No idea if that last part did anything but it worked for me! I also took pregnacare multivitamins and we both eat healthily and exercise regularly. I have an irregular cycle and we conceived the first month of trying aged 35 (so from one of those two times).

Best of luck 🌸

Sorry about your miscarriage ❤️. I did temping for quite a long time (read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility), acupuncture, herbal medicine (disgusting herbs to drink), took lots of supplements (read the book It Starts with the egg), did half an hour with my legs in the air after, had a laparoscopy to identify my endometriosis, cut out gluten and sugar and ate only whole foods for about 6 months, changed my face creams and toiletries to all-natural products, did fertility yoga weekly, I’m afraid the only thing that worked after 4 years of trying everything I could think of was IVF- wish you the best of luck though with getting your BFP before February.

I would recommend the podcasts Big Fat Negative and For Trying Out Loud- in the latter there are quite a lot of episodes on acupuncture, Chinese medicine, essential oils, natural skincare, fertility massage, nutrition etc which I personally think will only make a small difference if any but it can be good to feel like you are doing something. Also both will be an education in IVF which could be helpful if you do end up needing it.

Tracking ovulation with ovulation tests and bbt. I wouldn’t have DS now if I didn’t use ovulation tests because I ovulated 6 days late that cycle and going by my cm we would have stopped too soon.