Just feeling very sad 😞

[Joleyjojo]

Not sure what I want from this post just feeling ever so down.

I had a CP in May, followed by another BFP in June which ended in MMC where baby stopped at 9 weeks discovered at 9+5. No bleeding no pain, raging symptoms.

I had surgical management 5 weeks 1 day ago today and AF came today. Before AF came I was positive hoped for a BFP but if it didn’t come I should be grateful my body has recovered.

Now AF is here I am so very sad, I didn’t think I would be back here. Thought my last BFP was it my last baby (I have 11&13 year old previous relationship) , no more TTC no more TWW. I am coming up to 40 in a few months and I feel like my time is running out. I want to feel positive but I’m struggling. BF is marvellous with everything but he struggles to understand how I’m feeling. I’m also so frightened to conceive again , the joy of seeing a BFP will be tainted with fear.

im sorry I just feel so very down today, and need to pick myself up. It’s like grieving for a life we were meant to have and had planned in those short weeks of being pregnant xx

Sorry to hear this. I had a MMC in February and had surgery too. I was so sad that I didn't fall pregnant straight away however I did 4 cycles later (3 of the cycles where I TTC). Seeing the line wasn't exciting as it once was and instead it's been filled with anxiety and worry unfortunately. Especially going for the 12 wk scan which is when I found out there was no heartbeat. I'm now 17 wks and everything so far is going ok so there is hope x