TTC after baby loss

[serasera19]

Hello, I'm having a crappy day and looking for a hand hold.
I lost my baby at 20 weeks in June and have been trying to conceive ever since. The thought of trying again has been the only thing getting me out of a dark hole to be honest but it's now been 3 cycles and no luck. I know it's not long in the big picture but given the history it is really starting to take its toll. There was also no reason found as to why I miscarried. I'm 35 years old and conceived the first time by cycle 3. I do everything you're supposed to do so I don't understand why it's not working. I'm definitely ovulating, and have regular cycles and time DTD at the right time. I'm just at a loss as to the whole thing. Does anyone have any tips/advice/experience for getting through this awful waiting time? Every day feels like a week and I'm in need of a boost of positivity 🙏🏼

Sorry for your loss. It took us longer to conceive after a miscarriage; I think about 5-6 months rather than 2-3 months originally. I know it’s hard but it is very common to take longer; as your body needs to adjust and recover. I focused on improving my diet, stopped alcohol and tried to make nice plans throughout eqch cycle

Sorry for your loss too 🤍 that's good advice thanks. I just assumed it would happen quickly as everyone says you're more fertile after but it makes sense about your body adjusting. Sometimes it feels like it's never going to happen but this gives me hope 🙏🏼

I think you can be more fertile but it’s definitely not always the case. I have quite a few friends who’ve had miscarriages and all have them have taken a while to conceive afterwards.

Thanks for sharing this. I only seem to have friends who conceive straight away so I don't get much sense of a bigger picture reality! When you say 'a while' - are we talking around the 6 month mark? Just trying to get a sense of a realistic timeframe

varied but I think 3-6 months. The fact you got pregnant already is encouraging - I’m sure it’ll happen soon!

Thanks so much 🤍 I don't know what I'd do without this app sometimes!

I am so sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine going through that at 20 weeks.
Ive been TTC for 15 months and had 2 losses in that time, most recent one at 12 weeks in April, where I was then diagnosed with a partial molar pregnancy. I wasn’t able to TTC for a while as I had to be monitored that it wouldn’t end up as cancer. But I’ve been TTC now since end July, but my cycles are erratic, last one being 50 days. So I totally get every day feeling like a week!

The only way I get through it is trying to keep busy & make plans. I’m not usually a crafter, but have been making cross stitch Christmas cards, just to stop myself doom scrolling on an evening. And trying to make weekend plans so I’m not in the house thinking.
It really is tough x

Oh my gosh I'm so sorry for your losses too 🤍 I'd recommend acupuncture for regulating your cycles - can't comment on whether it actually helps you conceive yet but it's definitely got my cycles back to normal quickly. You're right about finding things to pass the time - it feels like running a marathon at times x

@serasera19 thank you, I’ve actually been having acupuncture for a little while and hasn’t seemed to helped. I’d heard such good things about it too so was gutted that the last cycle was still 50 days!
It definitely feels like a marathon. And takes over your life, I feel like I think about it most minutes of the day

Ugh that's annoying I'm sorry. I go to a Chinese medicine Fertility specialist and she prescribes herbal medicine too - is that a similar set up to what you go to?
It is all consuming, I'm the same. I've lost the spark I had before starting this 'TTC journey'. I just can't wait for it to come back x

@serasera19 oh interesting. No mine is purely just acupuncture, but I’ll definitely look into that.
Oh yeah 100% the same. Since coming off the pill, each time I’ve had 1 period and then got pregnant, and same after the losses. But now I’ve had 2 periods and still waiting. If I get pregnant I think I’ll feel relieved, but then just full of anxiety so it’s taken the joy away

Me too it seems so far away before we can relax again! I'm guessing there's nothing different you've done on the months you have conceived vs the last 2? It's all just so random 🤷🏼‍♀️

@serasera19 no nothing different, after the first loss I cut out all caffeine, but that did a fat lot of good! All I can think is that the second loss had the added complications so think my body is just taking longer to get back to normal. I imagine it’s similar for you too. Your body has been through a lot, so even though your cycles are regular it has been through a trauma so I’m sure it’s just a matter of time for you

Sorry for your loss 🤍 It took us about 6 months after an early miscarriage. I ended up having acupuncture and changing our diets as I was getting so frustrated especially as we had conceived first time before - I think my body was just depleted and need time to recover

That's true, I'm sure it won't be long for you either. Thanks for commenting, nice to not feel so alone! x

Thank you. Anytime ❤️ I seem to be on here quite a lot so if you ever need any one to chat to I’m here x

Sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing 🤍 It's good to know that it did happen for you even it took a little longer. I think I could relax a bit if I knew it was just a matter of when, not if.

I am 4 months post loss in May. I had a TFMR for Congenital diaphragmatic hernia but found out from genetic testing that baby also had T16 which was fatal. I am on cycle 3 now and it has been frustrating as my periods took 7 weeks to return and the last 2 cycles have been longer at 36 to 38 days. I have started to take some very expensive vitamins but I am cd12 and getting loads of ewcm so hopefully that I will ovulate within the next few days. I conceived my daughter in 2021 on the 2nd cycle and I conceived my last pregnancy on cycle 3. I am therefore also hoping I conceive soon but need to be patient. I am also 35 so feel like time is not on my side

I'm really sorry to hear this 🤍🙏🏼 it feels doubly cruel when you have to wait longer to conceive after a miscarriage but it seems we are all in a similar boat. I naively thought it would happen quickly but I guess it makes sense that it takes our bodies time to go back to normal. I Hope it's not much longer for you x

@serasera19 the problem is we hear of stories where people ovulate quickly after loss and get pregnant really soon after the loss and we hope that the same will happen to us. It is then really cruel when our hormones takes ages to sort themselves out as it is longer to wait x

I ovulated about 4 weeks after, and have done 2 more times since then so there must be some other reason for me. I'm going for a private uterus scan this evening to check lining etc... x

Hello👋🏻
I had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks in February, it took us 14 months to conceive and we’re now on month 9. Ovulating next weeks.
It’s so frustrating, we’ve been now ttc for 2 years all together.
Haven’t gone for any testing as I just can’t be bothered with doctors appointments right now. The month we conceived we were both sick with a fever and dtd around 3 days before ovulation so I really can’t see what could be wrong, maybe just bad luck.
My periods have not yet regulated, last month I had brown spotting for 3 days at the time I usually ovulate but then I actually ovulated a week late. Fingers crossed for more luck this month or at least to conceive this year.

Oh I'm so sorry for your loss and the ongoing frustration of TTC 🤍 there's just no reason as to why it works one month and not the others. Someone said to me 'it's an art and not a science'. Only thing I can recommend for the irregular cycles is acupuncture but I know it doesn't work for everyone. I hope we all get some good news soon x