How long did it take you?

[SarahFlower]

I'm 32 and currently TTC #1. I naively thought we'd fall pregnant right away... we are both heathy and have no fertility problems (that we know about). I'm using OPKs so it's not timing.

Anyway how long did it take you TTC before you got a BFP? Just looking for reassurance

A year, 14 months and 9 months

DC1 (Age 33) - 11 cycles
DC2 (Age 36-39) - 32 cycles with an early MC after 4 cycles

No known fertility issues despite all the tests and all cycles were tracked with OPKs and BBT so timing was correct, we're just not very fertile for some unknown reason

DC1 - 1st cycle age 31
DC1- 14 months so far and no luck yet. Started aged 34, now 35. Thankful I've had no MCs

Both non smokers, non drinkers, hubby SA normal, I'm healthy & exercise. Had a range of blood tests, scans, hycosy. My hubby is not so healthy diet wise but not awful and slightly over weight but actually weighs less than when we concieved DC1. I had a emergency c section, no idea if that has changed things but nothing shown on scans. I do believe that the whole 'up to a year' is 'normal' based on stats is of course accurate but I also don't think it's abnormal to take longer even if no known issues.

Started TTC at 25 and took around 18 months with DS
Started TTC at 28 and it took 2.5 years this time around, currently 17 weeks pregnant
I have PCOS, but didn’t get help either time. First time because it was during Covid lockdowns / the immediate aftermath and this time around because you don’t get help if you already have one.

Oops, should say DC2 is 14 months and counting!

1st month both times, me and DH must just be very biologically compatible.

This is such a dick thing to say on a thread where someone is struggling to conceive, please can you think next time before you say things like this as they can be quite hurtful.

It may seem irrational to you but the potential implication couples are not biologically compatible because they don’t conceive right away can be really offensive. It’s great you conceived first time twice, you got lucky, not everyone is that lucky and it isn’t necessarily because they aren’t compatible 🙄.

But the OP doesn’t actually say they’re struggling or how long they have been ttc, not catching right away could mean like 1 or 2 cycles for some.

Equally OP, Id avoid trying to time sex and just have sex regularly every couple of days throughout would whole cycle as some people will have missed ovulation by trying to time things. Not everyone’s body is text book.

Thank you for saying this. Conception is mostly chance - comments about ‘compatibility’ are so offensive

Are you reading a different thread? The OP says she’s “looking for reassurance” “thought they’d fall pregnant right away” “using OPKs” etc. that sounds to me like someone who’s struggling with the emotions of it all.

Being told “I got pregnant right away both times, must be because we’re soooo compatible” is not helpful or kind.

Thank you @YaWeeFurryBastard .

Also even if OP hasn't expressly said she's struggling (although I think there are strong hints!) others, including myself, have said we are currently trying to conceive for over a year. Smugly talking about biological compatibility is not only nonsense, it's also rude. I have PCOS - mine and my partners compatibility is nothing to do with it.

Around 1 year for us, we were mid 20s at the time.

I can 100% remember but I think

26 - 2 months
28 - 1 month

Definitely no more than 3 each time.

But he's military so didn't see him much.

I wonder if the women who took a year or more had been on a contraceptive for a while? I hadn't we just used condoms.

I was lucky. I got pregnant first attempt at 35. Tried again at 37 and it took about 8 months, I think with two very early miscarriages.

Fell first cycle with my first at 30. Now just started trying for our second. Taken a test today which is negative (could still just be too early) but I think we haven't succeeded first time this time (I'm now 34).

A quick google will tell you there’s no evidence to suggest this is the case, in fact one study showed that pregnancy was more common in those who had been using oral contraceptives for over 5 years. Obviously things like the depo can take a while to get out of your system but most people are very aware of this before they TTC.

I’ll say it again for the people who seem convinced they conceive quickly because of their superior biological status or lifestyle fertility is mostly down to random luck not something you have or haven’t done.

I had been on a non hormonal copper coil for years, so no.

@YaWeeFurryBastard

I've never had to Google such things so I wouldn't know.

I've never mentioned superior biological status or lifestyle. I mean I didn't drink smoke or take drugs but dh did all 3 at some point before we conceived.

1st baby - 12 months, age 31.
2nd baby - 11 months, age 34, but had two chemicals during that time too so actually three BFPs in 11 months. I’d just had blood tests done for initial fertility investigations.

Just started trying for baby #3 but fully expecting it to take a year (probably give up if it takes longer).

12 months is very normal and I know it feels forever at the time but for most people it will happen and then that period of trying to conceive will feel like it rushed past in a blink of an eye. Good luck.

Well how about being a bit thoughtful and checking whether there’s any basis to your idle wonderings about what other people have done to impact their fertility 🙄.

Sorry if this comes across as harsh but as someone who’s now lucky enough to be pregnant, it still really pisses me off when people who conceive easily make ignorant and offensive comments that can upset women at what is already a very difficult time. I just wish people would think before they speak and show a bit more compassion.

I was 34 when I fell pregnant, it took 1 year of trying. I came off the pill 2 years before.
We booked a holiday to take my mind off trying, as I was starting to feel worried & anxious. I fell pregnant that same month.

@YaWeeFurryBastard

This isn't the infertility board

It’s the conception board and a post from someone looking for reassurance. Come on, show a bit of compassion and common sense. It’s twice as infuriating when people who conceive easily make insensitive comments and then double down and insist they’ve done nothing wrong 🙄.

I fell pregnant very quickly each time and I appreciate how very lucky I am. I do think the average time is between 6 months and a year though and this feels like a lifetime. I think there's a real breadth to what's "normal" and we are taught that if we have unprotected sex then it'll lead to pregnancy so when it doesn't happen immediately, it's easy to panic. Good luck.